IMHO, it can be so easy to get swept up in anger and hate. I know all too well how quickly those strong emotions can take over and override the system. It can be blinding. In extreme rage situations, why do you think the term “seeing red” exists? That is what Kate Martin felt after a celebrating fan ran into one of her teammates earlier this season. Logic and reason (wise mind) check out while base instinct (basically dumb mind or lizard brain) checks in. Look at Draymond Green. I want to believe he means well, but I do not think he processes his emotions well. I think his internal systems get easily overridden. To be clear, I am not trying to discount or disrespect him. I love him, y’all, like a brother. I see his struggle, I feel for him, and I want to help him as best as I can, like a brother. IMHO, feeling & recognizing your emotions are some of the first steps towards becoming better.
Growing up, I was raised in a very religious household. One recurring lesson/theme on worship days seemed to circulate annually-ish and continually sticks with me to this day (because I believe it held kernels, nuggets, or seeds of wisdom). The leader liked to talk about the types of love. Not just love but the types of it because there are differences! Why should we only believe in one type of love? IMO, I think we often limit ourselves too much. Case in point: as I researched this topic to fact-check myself to the best of my abilities, I learned that the very leader who I looked up to back then did not even tell us all the types of love; I only recall three or four foreign words. Evidently the ancient Greeks had a number of different layers/levels of love (like an onion, or a parfait); some sources talk about 3 while others have 4, 7, or even 8 different types of love!!!!!!!! At the end of the day, I believe love is whatever you make it. My first sugjestion today – why wouldn’t you make the most of it? Why would you limit yourself to only one or two types of love (or even no love)? I will not. I choose to channel as many levels of love as I can; I find it to be very fulfilling and rewarding. What do you choose to channel; how do you find it to be?? To be completely honest, the last level I see scares me because I know how obsessed I can be by default with my basic personality type. Once again, feeling & recognizing it are some of the first steps. Therefore, in the interest of not withholding (what I deem to be valuable) information, I will detail all 8 levels or types of love that I found in preparation:
Agape1 (love for everyone)
Philautia (love of the self)
Pragma (longstanding love)
Philia (deep friendship)
Storge (family love)
Ludus (playful love)
Eros (sexual passion)
Mania (obsessive love)
Before researching the above information, I was prepared to expound on a point where I do not think that I was taught about, let alone how to correctly practice, self-love way back when2. That oversight disappoints me so much. IMHO, I think there is too much blame and/or responsibility that gets shifted away from ourselves. I believe that we fix our own problems (else we simply stagnate/stall). Can others outside and/or beyond us help? Sure. What do you think I am trying to do here? Ultimately, though, I believe it boils down to what you choose to do. How can you best help yourself? Currently, I feel that self-love is extremely underrated and underutilized in this day and age. Let’s work on it!
Over time and through education, I learned that, in the Arab world, it is common for two male friends to hold hands while walking. You will react however you are doing so right now. I can easily guess how much balking and eye rolling is going on because of what I’ve said. Honestly, though, I think it says more about you and your personal shortcomings than anything else. Why does that notion make you uncomfortable? What is it that you are missing out on in your life? Maybe you are jealous of how comfortably they can love. Love does not always have to be sexual. That is only one level out of at least eight! It doesn’t even have to always be sensual. IMHO, it should be one soul caring for another. Short, simple, and sweet. Hopefully and/or ideally, that other soul reciprocates the caring back to you, but it is not even necessary to receive that reciprocation in order for you to love regardless. I think we are often too afraid to love, so we miss out on so much of life! My last sugjestion for today: learn the layers and/or levels of love. Let it light a fire inside you and shine a beacon outward for all. Please, and thank you. Also, I love you. Yea. :) <3
Maybe it’s wise. Maybe it’s dumb. Maybe “All You Need Is Love.”3 Time will tell.
- I was very intrigued to see this definition for the Greek word “Agape” because it is one of the few words branded into my brain from all those years ago. In the past, I had been taught that it was love for a higher power. How neat to see it differently. ↩︎
- I wanted to write “when I was growing up”, but, IMO, I am still growing up, even to this day, so that is why I chose to write it the way I did with a different approach. ↩︎
- Please note: water and food for survival are still strongly encouraged, too… ;) ↩︎