Soulday – 033025

Let honesty be as the breath of thy soul.

-Benjamin Franklin

Can I be honest with you? Why does someone even need to start a conversation with that question? How far have we strayed if the default is now dishonesty? When can we remove our masks and honestly be our authentic, beautiful selves? Right now. What is stopping you – the desire or perceived need to “fit in”? How well are you fitting into your own body if you are being dishonest with yourself in order to do so? Not too well IMO.

I wish we could stop the little lies. I don’t mean that one has to be brutally frank. I don’t believe that we should be brutal about anything, however, it is wonderfully liberating to be honest.

-Maya Angelou

I have a history of naively trusting others too quickly. If I am being honest in my actions, then that means others will be honest in theirs, too, right? If only… yet, do I choose to be defeated by it? No. It means I simply need to practice better discernment moving forward. I choose to still be honest. I believe it is important. It is how I choose to cultivate my lane. If others choose to “build” their lane more surreptitiously, well, that is their choice. I can guarantee that it will be nowhere near as authentic or beautiful. Those who know the difference will be able to easily decipher the decent work from the dishonest jerks.

To live a life of honesty and integrity is a responsibility of every decent person.

-Noam Chomsky

Honesty is the best policy. That is a common expression, and I think it is worth its weight in gold. According to the fourth guardrail, honesty should be a constant ideal to strive towards and actively uphold. Even while we wish everyone would, we can still do so. We do not need to degrade to lower levels and join in on any dishonest deterioration. We can honestly hone a better and higher way for our lanes. Honestly and humbly lead by example. Many will watch and learn eventually. Watch and see, or simply trust me.

Honesty is one part of eloquence. We persuade others by being in earnest ourselves.

-William Hazlitt

If you want to take it one step further, you can circle back to dishonest moments of your past and own up to them now (or soon). I have done so a number of times over the past year. At least four or five occurrences immediately jump to mind. I was nervous and a bit frightened going into each one, but I felt lighter and more relieved leaving each and every one of those opportunities. I suspect all of us have streaks of dishonesty in our past. What can set them free? Honestly owning up to them. I sugjest trying it out for yourself.

It’s impossible to always get across what I’m trying to say, but, if I just stay honest, then I’m not going to look back on any of these interviews and wonder what I was trying to do or be.

-Kristen Stewart

I believe it is helpful (and possibly even necessary, perhaps at least to start) to slow down all of your actions in order to interact with yourself and others more honestly. When we move quickly (including in talking), how reflexively habituated are many of our behaviors and speech patterns? I do not find it fun to move through life on auto-pilot. It does not feel natural to me. You can choose to live however you want, but I believe in pursuing a full and honest experience during my time here. I believe that is how to live life best. I choose to move at my pace if it permits me to position myself in more honest, beautiful, and authentic moments. Honestly, how can you live your best life in your lane?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 032825

One of the spiritual leaders in Buddhism is called the Karmapa. I heard some beautiful stories about the current one. He demonstrates how we can all see plenty of beauty in our surroundings. When visiting a new city on a dreary day, he commented with honest fascination on all the tones of gray interwoven amidst the clouds in the sky. Another time, when speaking to students in a run-down pub or bar of sorts, he did not choose to be deterred or distracted by the shabbiness that others focused on. Instead, he was excited because he had never given a talk before in a place that had a disco ball! I love these :)

One way to open your eyes to unnoticed beauty is to ask yourself, ‘What if I had never seen this before? What if I knew I would never see it again?’

-Rachel Carson

Do you want to direct your attention to where others are trying to draw it, or can you control your focus and find the best beauty in as many moments as possible? We have that choice constantly. I sugjest choosing to behold beauty whenever and wherever you can. Do not let others drag you down to wallow in their way of wavering. Direct your deliberate devotion to the natural and divine beauty that wraps itself around us. You need only open your eyes and accept the warm hug that is always there waiting for you.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

-Roald Dahl

What are your thoughts often like? Are they sunny and beautiful? I sugjest forgiving yourself for and letting go of your past way(s) of thinking. Start shifting the narrative. You control your inner monologue. I know how horrible mine used to be. It is not perfect now, but it is significantly better. There is more beauty in my mind now, so I am now a much more beautiful being as a result of it. I strongly sugjest supplanting sewage and sludge. It may take time to make it budge, but your health and well-being are worth that nudge.

Mind your thoughts, as they become your words. Mind your words, as they become your actions. Mind your actions, as they become you.

-Buddha

“The past is full of inspiring possibilities that must guide us today so we always act as if change is possible.” Your path is full of beautiful and positive opportunities, and change is truly possible. Do you choose to be more beautiful now? Why are you dulling yourself?

Never dull your shine for somebody else.

-Tyra Banks

Please patiently proceed to peacefully produce the prettiest and most pristine lane that you can possibly procure. Promote a positive pattern for peers to peer upon and ponder about please. Some people will continue choosing to ignore beauty, delighting in wrongly warping whatever is right in front of them. Be mindful of how such a mindset may mold your meanings. Would you rather see the beauty or the beast? Be my beautiful guest.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 032625

Have you ever wondered… about ullassa? I have. It is a Sanskrit word, representing any heartwarming feeling that arises when you observe and appreciate natural beauty. It could be a sunrise, a sunset, a tranquil forest, or a captivating storm. Maybe you really like the view of a brick wall or a stone path. Earlier this week, my capacity for cuteness nearly overloaded while watching a baby squirrel run around through a yard. Its bushy, tiny tail was absolutely adorable, and seeing how it was clearly still learning how to hop around in a balanced and coordinated way filled me with so much awe and admiration for natural life. Watching woodland critters around my home delights me on a regular basis (unless the squirrels are trying to inappropriately raid my feeders). I have learned that I do not always need to be staring at a screen or engaging in extroverted, social activities. Instead, I see plenty of beauty in many simple things. Unfortunately, I believe too many others take these passing pleasures for granted, glossing right over them with blind eyes.

Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

-Franz Kafka

Ullassa can serve as a good reminder to slow down. Then, you can engage with your senses more. See, hear, smell, taste, and feel more than you typically do by being more present and calmly engaged right here and right now. When did you last sit still and watch the sun move across the sky? Observe the slow shift in the spectrum as colors burst forth or fade away across the horizon. Do you ever watch clouds form together and fall apart? Are you soaking in the range and details of naturally-beautiful and colorful surroundings, or are you tuned out and checked out, living in an ennui noir grayscale?

At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.

-Toni Morrison

I will openly and honestly share one of my weirder life experiences. You will choose to believe me or not, but it will not change what I believe or how I live. My vision shifts in notable and noticeable ways whenever I am more present and positive. When I start to simply see the scenery with selfless, loving appreciation, it all takes on a more crisp and captivating condition. In complete contrast, when I rush around or feel down and out, the same exact bookcase does not feel or look as warm and inviting. By taking more mindful moments to calmly move through life, I see and value more beauty in everything, and it makes living more pleasant as well as significantly more engaging. I value this ability.

too often we get caught up in our imagination, creating heavy narratives about the past or craving something in the future, altogether missing the beautiful moment that is right in front of us. every moment has potential, and that potential is defined by how we arrive into it. our minds have the power to turn a moment that might easily have been forgotten into something awe-inspiring and positively life-changing.

-yung pueblo

Even now, collecting myself more wholly to wisely write these words sparks an aliveness in this room that, minutes ago, was not here as much as it is now. I delight in in-depth details, I partake in more particulars, and I bask in yet more beauty. You do not have to take my word for it. Tap into your inner beauty as you connect with natural beauty all around you right now. Look past whatever may be upsetting you. Find the true joy and wonder that is buried beneath it. Some things may require a lot of digging to get to the valuable worth waiting, but it is worth it. Can you redefine a high definition view of life?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :) <3

Mournday – 032425

I mourn for all of the vain folk out there, those who care more about external beauty than inner beauty. You probably think this post is about you. Why invest so much in something that is fleeting and will definitely leave you at some point in the future? Instead, you can hone inner traits and virtues that you are capable of carrying with you for the rest of your life and possibly beyond, depending on what you believe. Our bodies will be left behind at some point. How beautiful is your soul? Will you be ready to see it beyond this body?

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness.

-John Keats

Should we take care of our bodies? Yes, in a balanced and healthy way. Not to an extreme in either direction, though. Pay plenty of attention to your health and well-being, but define it according to how you feel, not how you look. Why do you think some people who seemingly “have it all” are still absolutely miserable? They might appear beautiful and glamorous when gazed upon from the outside, looking in and being distracted by the smoke and mirrors. Yet, when faced with the true nature of self and when all the masks and personas are removed, well, that is when true beauty can be authentically and honestly recognized as present and powerful or dreadful and deficient, pure and pristine or lackluster and lacking. Make-up will only cover up and make up for but so much.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth.

-1 Peter 3:3-4

Again, feel free to embrace beauty, but do not let it solely define you. Do not make it all that matters. Cultivate beautiful inner work while enjoying painted nails and alluring lashes. Manufacture a mesmerizing musk instead of using fake scents as cover-ups. Enhancing your preexisting qualities is very different from casting false illusions of yourself. If you only feel pretty with a bunch of filters and effects applied to your photos, then what work are you ignoring while deluding, diluting, and distracting? You do not achieve honest and long-lasting beauty by attempting a bunch of shortcuts. True beauty requires careful and deliberate steps to supplant and sustain a sincere and sweet self. Fewer mirrors and more moments with others. Less vanity and more spiritual sanity.

Exterior beauty without the depth of a kind soul is merely decoration.

-Unknown

We are all beautiful in our own unique ways. Do not believe anyone else who tries to tell you differently. Remember how much inner beauty they still need to work on if they choose to voice such vain and self-absorbed, comparative nastiness. Hopefully, they will eventually figure that out one day, but we can keep calm and carry on beautifully.

I’ve never met a person I couldn’t call a beauty.

-Andy Warhol

Can you channel your inner Warhol to see more beauty in everyone around? It will now be a fun game for me to play. I hope you will see my beautiful inside as I admire yours.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 032225

exuberant vs. deficient

exuberant (adjective) – effusively and almost uninhibitedly enthusiastic; abounding in vitality; extremely joyful and vigorous

deficient (adjective) – lacking some element or characteristic; insufficient; inadequate

Can you wake up full of joy,

or do you grumble aloud “oh boy”?

Does sun streaming in bring delight,

or do you try to shut your eyes tight?

As others begin to stir and make noise,

how peaceful and present is your poise?

Do you slow down and savor your breakfast,

or are you already too busy acting headless?

Can you pause and admire the view,

or do you trudge along with no clue?

What all is pleasing to your senses

if you forego all habitual pretenses?

Are you calm and content when you crawl into bed,

or are your thoughts running wild through your head?

Can you replay a tale of awe and discovery,

or do you relive certain horrors and drudgery?

Can you embrace your life as exuberant,

or do you see this existence as deficient?

Beauty can be yours to behold.

Judge carefully what is truly gold.

Do not buy everything that is sold.

Ignore the voices that are too bold.

Listen mainly to the wise and old.

The best way to live is oft foretold.

Beauty does not fit a standard mold.

Tend to your lane with warmth, not cold.

Then beauty will surely be yours to behold.

Exuberance is beauty.

-William Blake

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 032025

Does your life spark joy? Can you see the beauty in all of the little things around you? I am very thankful for Marie Kondo. She has seen the beauty in organized and purposeful placements for the majority of her life. She also recognizes how her sense of beauty has changed over the years. Beauty is not static. It ebbs and flows; it blooms and grows; it is fast and slow. Do not cling to it. Let it come and go. Channel your inner Marie Kondo.

Too many things in too small a space cut off flow, block creativity, and bury beauty, much like a bad cold can make it hard to breathe.

-Laura Staley

Marie Kondo acknowledges her affinity for feeling feng shui in a place from an early age, a rare ability to feel the energy movement in a location. She can quietly observe if a space is balanced and flowing or stifled and stagnant. She had a fainting spell when she was younger as well. Her epiphany upon recovering consciousness was to focus less on only identifying what all around her can be thrown away. Instead, she learned to appreciate seeing the beauty in everything that stays. If you do not see the beauty in something, then why are you still holding onto it? Why do you cling to things that do not shine and brighten your being with glowing presence? If you are not actively seeing beauty, then what all are you intaking, something that does not help or, worse, possibly harms you?

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.

-William Morris

When have you last slowed down to soak in your surroundings? How habituated have you become to existing art, decorations, and pictures that adorn your abode? Here is an interesting idea: take things down if you have become accustomed to them to the point that you no longer even notice them. I do not recommend replacing existing stuff with simply more stuff. No, I sugjest leaning into the emptiness. Find beauty in nothing.

It is only when you put your house in order that your furniture and decorations come to life.

-Marie Kondo

Then, when you put that object back on display again, whether it be on a table or a wall, you can truly appreciate its value and see it for all of its beauty again. We often become so blind to beauty that my heart hurts even writing this sentence. That is how deeply this sad truth pains me at my beautiful core. Various addictions, cravings, and desires override our ability to simply sit back, observe, and appreciate all the awe that surrounds us on a regular basis. Bask in the natural beauty. This morning, I saw a solar halo during my drive to work. It was a stunningly beautiful rainbow encircling the sun through icy clouds. How many other commuters missed such a mesmerizing, natural sight because it was “just another day”, repeating a morning drive? Each moment is beautiful if you see it that way.

When we focus on the small worlds our thoughts create, we miss out on the beauty and possibilities we are meant to enjoy.

-Guy Finley

You can begin seeing beauty if you adjust and expand your mindset. It is not always easy, but it is worth it. You can behold beautiful surroundings if you remember how to look at everything with fresh, unfiltered eyes. I sugjest giving it a try. I hope you spark more joy.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 031625

Authenticity creates natural beauty. As long as you see it for yourself, that is enough because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Would you rather behold your own beauty and feel beautiful yourself? I would. How empty must it feel to only hear about it from others without believing it yourself? Only you know your true depths and all of the crevices therein. Learn to love them all, and live in your beauty as best as you can.

Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons.

-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Beauty is not the same for everyone. We each have our own worth and authenticity to explore and embody in order to fully embrace our entire being as the beautiful selves that we can all be. Please ignore any societal standards that do not resonate with your sense of inner beauty. As long as you cultivate your lane confidently, you can choose the contents that create your beauty. We can build our best beauty when we do just that – keep our eyes focused on crafting our own beautiful lane. We do not need to worry about the beauty of our neighbors’ lanes. It is not a competition. Make your lane as aligned and augmented with your authentic beauty as possible while leaving that same responsibility up to everyone else for their own lane. You can enjoy more time with such an approach.

How much time [they] gain who does not look to see what [their] neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what [they] do [themself], to make it just and holy.

-Marcus Aurelius

Building a beauty that is only skin-deep will not get you very far in life in the long-run. A lifelong beauty is patiently produced with personal traits that you can carry forward with you forever. It is easy to see through a facade once you know how to look at things properly. It is similarly easy to see authentic beauty when it shines forth boldly and proudly from spirited people. Which approach do you believe is better for your lane?

The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within – strength, courage, dignity.

-Ruby Dee

The beauty that lasts is the beauty that will not fade with age. While it is quite haunting, this reading sent shivers through me the other morning when I read it. I know what I want to see in the end. Can you start formulating a more beautiful result for you as well?

The Persians have such a fable: After death, a soul flew into the sky, and met a terrible woman, a dirty and horrible apparition, with festered sores discharging pus, who was going in the opposite direction. "What are you doing here?" asked the soul. "Who are you?" The terrible woman answered, "I am your deeds."

-Leo Tolstoy

Indeed, you can and will choose to believe what you wish. I sugjest reviewing your deeds to determine if there is sufficient beauty in your actions. How beautiful is your soul?

There is no beauty but the beauty of action.

-Moroccan Proverb

Act beautifully. Live beautifully. Behold beauty everywhere. You have the choice :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 031425

Authenticity is not something that others bestow upon you from the outside. You should learn to listen and let it bubble up from the inside. What is your shadow trying to tell you? How is your inner child attempting to direct you? Are you thriving in your lane while adhering to the guardrails, or are you only getting by while going through the motions on autopilot? I do not think we are here to simply survive. I believe we should fully embody our entire being, embracing an authentic life that is unapologetically pure and soulful.

The authentic self is the Soul made visible.

-Sarah Ban Breathnach

Don’t be afraid of losing people, but be afraid of losing yourself trying to make everyone happy.

-Naguib Mahfouz

Will everyone appreciate and value your authentic self? No. Perhaps you remind them of their shadow or something that they are choosing to avoid and not confront themselves. It says more about them than you, and it allows you another opportunity to practice the second guardrail more effectively by not taking their reaction(s) personally. If you keep putting in the work to improve, then you may notice the stagnation of many around you. Feeling a desire to help is natural for most, but we waste time trying to help any who are not ready to help themselves. Offer aid if you wish, but also be prepared to set aside work that does not belong to you in order to maintain your best focus and mindset.

If you want to live your most authentic life, you’ve got to include the self beneath the surface.

-Jay Shetty

When you choose to embrace authenticity, you enjoy witnessing a truly beautiful life unfold. It can be intimidating to some who are not yet prepared for such a personal transformation. For likeminded individuals, though, you can help them burn even brighter alongside you. That is the beauty of authenticity. It is not competitive. It is cooperative and synergistic. Truly authentic people will easily and happily build one another up.

it's the friends who help you reconnect
with your original mission and values
who make a substantial difference in your life

sometimes it just takes one conversation
with someone who is radically authentic
to reignite your inner fire
and help you get back on the right path

-yung pueblo

Like I heard from a dear friend last week, how can we all be our true and noble selves? One way to start is to quiet your mind in order to listen to your heart. Then, eventually, you can also begin to quiet your heart in order to listen to your soul. You have the power. Do you choose to use it, or will you continue to live an inauthentic life that is incomplete?

Most powerful [are they] who [have themself] in [their] own power.

-Seneca

Absolute authenticity requires conscious control of your complete self. Perhaps not down to each and every bodily function internally but certainly to the point that it covers all of your actions and choices externally. Emotions and feelings will come and go, but what you do with all that information that the world provides is in your power. Will you own it all, or will you continue to give it up? I believe in you. We can bloom. I am trying so hard to shine my authentic light for all of us. I am also shining my authentic darkness when it best helps myself and those around me. Therein rests true beauty, embracing wholeness as a perfectly imperfect being. A work of art who may never be finished mastering peace.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 031225

Have you ever wondered… about your shadow? I have. I used to avoid my shadow at all costs; that foolish approach only proved to be to my own detriment and deterioration. We should not hide from ourselves, else we may devolve even further. You can wear masks for everyone else, but your body will not fool itself. Your true, inner authenticity will break free in some way, shape, or form eventually. I sugjest allowing your breakout to happen in a healthy and controlled way. Else, you may not enjoy the uncontrolled alternative.

Those parts of yourself that you desperately want to hide and destroy will gain power over you. The best thing to do is face and own them, because they are forever a part of you.

-Janet Mock

I will be fully honest and transparent here. I thought I could move through life, being my best self, with only the light side of me. It took many conversations with multiple close friends to make me finally realize that I should not fear my shadow. Instead, I should embrace it and use it for my best next steps whenever it serves the best purpose. Otherwise, at best, only half of my entire best is trying to move me forward in life.

Now, as I slowly but surely integrate myself more fully, I can bring more of my entire being into each best next step. The difference is noticeable and significant. My personal output and productivity have improved alongside an increased sense of wholeness and well-being that are wonderfully worthwhile. Why wait while wilting and withering?

To only live with half of yourself is to be like a fish out of water or a flame with no access to fresh air and oxygen to use as fuel. You are slowly suffocating yourself. Is that what you want to be doing? I certainly hope not. I hate square breathing because of the breath holds; I deeply cherish my inhales and exhales evenly; I am equally learning to evenly cherish my light and shadow sides. Synergistically, the two make me a better person than only one of them. I burn better and brighter, integrating my being more authentically.

Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire.

-St. Catherine of Siena

Are you ready to start your shadow work? I hope so. Good luck. It is not easy, but it is worth it. A future, more authentic version of you will thank the current you for trying :) Show up with your light and your shadow. Use them both accordingly in the best way.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 031025

I mourn for the copycats and posers, those inauthentic mimics who memorize movements instead of making memories. Curate compassionate creations or manufacture more mundane? Repeat the rote from others or ritualize what really reminds you of what resonates with your deepest sense of self? Authenticity allows you to be your own amazing and unique individual; it can help you realize that there is no need to feel like you must fit into a mold or follow along with a mob in order to mingle with the masses.

The real religion is not imitation of anybody else; it is a search to find out your own authentic self, who you are.

-Rajneesh

I know it can feel important at times to try and fit in. That pressure can be very intense depending on the people around you. What does that say, though, if the peer pressure is strong? It feels like a breach of guardrails to me. Mob mentality is basically the complete opposite of authenticity. Would you rather lie to yourself or lie to others? Now, ideally, we should lie to no one. However, it takes a big, healthy dose of confidence to boldly move through life with an unapologetic sense of true and honest authenticity. I encourage you to work on it because I believe it is the best way. Remember, “to thine own self be true.”

It never ceases to amaze me; we all love ourselves more than other people but care more about their opinion than our own.

-Marcus Aurelius

No matter what, people are going to like you or not like you. So be authentic, and let them like you or not for who you actually are.

-Kobe Bryant

Do you truly enjoy following an earthly idol or adhering to the current trend or fad? Would it be better to reconnect with your true self? How about, when you were a kid, what sparked joy for you? Do you still partake in such activities or anything similar now? Our interests early on in life speak volumes about our authentic nature and tendencies. Mute them now, and you will stay disconnected from fullness at your own risk. If others think you should “grow up” or “fit in”, then question back why they are not still childlike. Why are they so busy being bossy instead of simply enjoying the fun moments in life? Control sadly supersedes fun for far too many, and conformity constricts contentment.

The world is waiting for you, exactly as you are.

-Beth Santos

Please do not keep the world waiting any longer. We need and want you for you, not you as some cheap knock-off of someone else. Explore what makes you your best you. Embrace your true truth, and channel more authenticity empathetically and emphatically.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 030825

genuine vs. swindle

genuine (adjective) – possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; authentic; real; free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere

swindle (verb/noun) – to obtain by fraud or deceit; anything deceptive; a fraud

Natural inclinations vs. learned behavior 

Intuitive steps vs. cultured habit

Flowing action vs. conditioned reaction

Would you consider yourself to be a genuine soothsayer or a swindling smoothsayer? Are you authentically speaking truths to benefit all, or are you only saying what the other person wants to hear (or does not even want to hear) in order to get what you want?

Belonging starts with self-acceptance… believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic.

-Brené Brown

Which feels better? It does not matter which gets you more in the moment. If you think like that, then it is likely that you are only seeing with two eyes what is immediately in front of you. You are seeking instant gratification. Anything attained inauthentically will catch up with you. That karmic seed will be sowed. When you eventually reap it, well, time will tell. I cannot foretell those specifics, but it will catch up with you at some point.

By being authentically who you are, you might be slower in becoming successful, but you’re going to be slowly gathering people who are your tribe, your kinda folks.

-Chloé Zhao

What truly matters is what gets all the most in the long-run. Which best and authentic action can help you balance out your soul’s scales? Selfish swines will be left to brine amidst terrible tines. Authentic aspirants will be assured of their admirable actions to advance angelically. Genuinely, it is unbecoming to pursue a life full of any swindling.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 030625

Authenticity does not always demand verbosity. I am thankful for yet another Stoic philosopher, Paconius Agrippinus. As I understand it, he was a man who excelled at metaphorically marching to the beat of his own drum. It did not matter if others around him were moving to a different tune. He knew what mattered most to him, and he owned his authenticity. He proudly stood out as a bright spot amid much plainness and blending.

Agrippinus lived during the time of a leader who was basically the opposite of Marcus Aurelius. Nero has a terrible track record as emperor. Despite this common knowledge, he still ignored invites to palace parties, and he accepted exile over forceful acquiescence. In a way, instead of falsely and unjustly bending the knee, Agrippinus resisted with glee.

To state the obvious in case the bluntness is necessary, this lesson is even applicable in present day. Do we give into fear like current administrations and leaderships are trying to monger? Or, do we keep our focus on our lane, doing the best we can, while also doing our best to ignore anything outside of our control? If it affects us down the road, then we will act accordingly and authentically then. Until then, we can still live our best life. We can choose to color it however we like or feel is best as a personal choice as well as a gesture of dissent against those who wish to see us suffer in solid and soiled silence.

Accept right now that you are magnificent. Being your real, true, authentic self is what’s most awesome about you.

-Gabby Bernstein

Do you silence yourself? Have you heard or felt a call to do more, to fully own your best life? If you are ignoring your own authenticity, then are you surprised that you may feel off or broken? I believe that authenticity leads to wholeness. Do you want to be a fragment of your true self, or do you want to step into your entire breadth?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

-Mary Oliver

Do not let others silence your best, and please do not silence it yourself. Sit with yourself in silence for some time, reflecting on this sugjestion. How can you begin to channel and embrace more of your best and true authenticity? How can you make Agrippinus and countless others proud of how you shape your lane similarly? Not identically, but proportionally perfect. Authenticity comes in many shapes and sizes. Find your true shape. Identify your best size. Please, do not sacrifice or compromise but thrive.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 030225

As you start sustaining sufficient self-worth, you can begin to embody your best true self. You should always effectively prioritize yourself. Once again, it is not a selfish action or behavior because, if you are your best self, it allows you to provide your best support and assistance to all others around you. So, each of us should focus on being our best self.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

-Judy Garland

Trust me. I completely understand, firsthand, how terrifying and uncomfortable it can be to fully and truly embrace your authenticity; I am one of the weirdest people I know. I mean, come on, I write posts here as “a sugjester” :) I make up my own words on occasion and live my life in significantly different and seemingly-unusual ways compared to the vast majority of people. Do you know what, though? I absolutely love it. Despite the discomfort at times when I put myself out there in honest, open, transparent, and vulnerable ways, I feel better afterwards because I am not compromising on who and how I am. I do not feel empty or hollow inside as a result of trying to live my life according to societal standards of what we should be like in order to be “normal” in the twenty-first century. Normal is a fake illusion. Authenticity is an absolute truth.

There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice.

-Michelle Obama

Are you using your authentic voice? I am.

This is me. Who are you?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 022825

Are you beginning to see and value your true worth? Can you start to embrace yourself as perfectly imperfect? See your perfect. Understand you are worth it :) That is the beauty of self-worth. It does not matter what anyone else sees or thinks. Are you at peace with your best self? Can you rest well knowing that your lane is on track?

We are all born worthy. Worthy of love,
worthy of success.

-Jamie Lee Curtis

You know you are doing well with self-worth when you can confidently and honestly say, “I don’t wanna be anything other than me.” I do not want to be anything other than what I have been lately. I hope you can say the same. Prove your own worth as fully as you can. Do not feel the need to fit into an existing mold. There is only one of you. Please be you.

It’s your place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.

-Mae Jemison

If you keep believing in yourself and ignoring the outside dissent, then you can continue growing and improving to levels that may exceed any and all imaginations. To be fully honest, I am quite astonished by how I am living my life now. In the past, I did not believe that such a way was truly possible. Now, I am simply thankful for it all. My body has more scars than I care to admit, but I see the worth in my broken and beautiful self. Can you say the same? Reflect on the reasons for why you should feel worthy and noble.

We are constantly invited to be what we are; as to something worthy and noble.

-Henry David Thoreau

How can you reach for those stars and beyond if you keep limiting yourself? Do not sell yourself short. Be impeccable as you do the best that you can do while avoiding as many assumptions as possible. Choose to live your full, fulfilling, worthwhile, and worthy life.

Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.

-Oprah Winfrey

It is love alone that gives worth to all things.

-Teresa of Ávila

Love yourself to give worth to yourself. Love others to give worth to them. Yes, that even includes our enemies. I know how hard this act can be, but guess what? It is worth it :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 022625

Have you ever wondered… about saying no more? How often do you say yes to whatever someone asks of you? Has it ever occurred to you that constantly saying yes to others means you are always saying no to yourself? Please ponder now if that feels very fair to you. Have you considered what your time is worth? It is the currency of your life. Perhaps a balance here is truly best. That is what I typically strive for each day, an even mix of yes and no. An added bonus is that you can now practice effective boundaries with this act.

Power for me is ‘no.’ No is very powerful. Because if you’re always available – and this goes for relationships, too – just keep saying no. That’s when you know your worth, when you know your value.

-Taraji P. Henson

Are you afraid of saying no? Do you worry about upsetting others? If so, then it means you may care more about the feelings of others than your own feelings and well-being. I know this sounds selfish, but I do not think it truly is mean or unhealthy. If someone gets upset with you, then they expected something. It was not a true ask to begin with but an implied expectation that you would do what they want. Recently, I kept delaying plans with someone for months. I finally decided to move forward on my own in lieu of waiting more; I said no to a group outing and, instead, will now excitedly embark on an individual adventure that I am ready for. I chose to respect my time and move my worth forward. How much longer will you keep kicking a can down your lane’s road? Recycle it already!

Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.

-Albert Einstein

Learn to be comfortable with your own time alone. Find your self-worth in and of itself. It should not be given to you by anyone else or anything external. Cultivate and grow it to the point that it beams outward, bright and strong within you. It will take time and patient, caring attention, but it will be amazing and beautiful once you start to see it.

This has been a long time coming. Me, this life I’ve built, this latest version of myself. I’m not afraid to say, ‘I’m so proud of me.’ Finally certain for the first time in my life, not looking for any backup plan or validation or anyone to have my back. I got my back. I got me. And this has been a long time coming. I think maybe this is what it was all for. This moment, this life, me, finally knowing and never more sure of my worth.

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry

Doubling the worth for a win-win Wednesday. Have you ever wondered… about pre-chewing your food? It is a recent concept that I have thought of. Maybe others talk about it, too. I do not know. Now, though, I enjoy taking the time to prepare my meal more. Cutting up pieces into smaller, bite-sized chunks. Blending the flavors altogether. Doing some of the prep work for my teeth before it even enters my mouth. I know I do not slow down and chew enough, so this preemptive step proves worthwhile for my digestive system since it still receives the benefit of fewer unwieldy pieces to break down.

Try it. You might like it. What is it worth to you?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :)

Mournday – 022425

I mourn for all of the chronic pessimists out there. Why throw pity parties when you can proceed down your lane in a positivity parade? Wave your pom-poms proudly. I get it. Times can be tough. We can sometimes feel worthless if we let the outside world affect and infect us so severely. Why do you let all of those external events set your mood and influence your tone, though? Can you focus on tuning your channel to what you truly care about instead? Can you better control your mindset and thoughts regardless of what may be going on around you? If others in your midst are negative and downtrodden, must you partake in their depressing demeanor? No, you can press on passionately, and you can remind yourself of your worth. We can be confident in our knowledge. Even if others look at us like we are crazy, it does not matter. Own your truth. Move forward well. Pay as little of your mind to those opinions as possible. Haters will hate. Keep on winning.

There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.

-Mel Robbins

You do not need to flip this switch instantaneously. If you can, great. Go for it! If you need to be more practical and realistic, then take it one step at a time. What is at least one area or aspect of your life where you tend to assume the worst or a negative outcome? How can you begin to consider more than only one option? How often does the worst happen, or even a negative outcome that you fret over for that matter? Give yourself a break. Enjoy some relaxing rest. Please prioritize some worthwhile self-love and self-care.

You can’t hate yourself happy. You can’t criticize yourself thin. You can’t shame yourself worthy. Real change begins with self-love and self-care.

-Jessica Ortner

Can you best establish a new routine right when you wake up? Think about starting each new day with a kind word or two to yourself. Right now, how quickly do you grumble about your morning? Are you seeing the worth of your life when you behave negatively with a pessimistic attitude? Can you shift a self-harming practice towards a self-healing ritual instead? In my world of oversharing, these days, I thank God for as much as I can at the start of each morning and at the end of each evening. There is so much worth in each day if you learn to look for it. Are you even trying to look for it, though? The world is progressing all around us. Are you trying to actively engage with it? I certainly hope so.

It’s about waking up in the morning and saying that I’m worthy of love, belonging, and joy. It’s about engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.

-Brené Brown

Are you enjoying your pessimism? I thought I was enjoying mine when I adopted such a bad habit in the past. Now, though, I can easily see the folly of my foolishness. If I do not believe in myself and if I do not even see my own worth, then how can I honestly expect others to believe in me and see my worth? We are each responsible for our own lane. Is your lane withering and rusting, or is it vibrant and worthy? Can you let go of pessimism?

I’ve learned that the most basic fact in health care and health education is that people will take care of themselves only if they feel that they are worth taking care of. By reminding children that they are important to us, I hope that I’m helping them to develop a sense of their own uniqueness and worth so that they will take good care of themselves.

-Fred Rogers

Please take good care of yourself. I see your worth. Can you begin to see it, too? Let the past go. Whatever happened has happened. From this point forward, you can redefine your outlook with optimism or at least realism. Either is a better, worthwhile mindset.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 022225

amour propre (noun) – a sense of one’s own worth; self-respect

Do you have a good sense of your own worth? Are you critical or generous with your assessment? Do you give yourself the benefit of the doubt? Can you approach your self-evaluation more impeccably? Can you recognize that you are trying your best? If so, what will it take to move your best to an improved level today? What is at least one thing that you can do, practice, research, and/or study today to make your life more valuable? Build your worth up from the inside out. I know I said that before, yet it bears repeating.

True self-worth isn’t built on what people declare about you, but on what you demonstrate to yourself.

-Jay Shetty

I was very amused earlier this week when I was suddenly stopped in my tracks while listening to a book summary. One of the key points had a title of “Your worth isn’t in the mirror.” How many of us need to hear that and possibly put it on repeat? Your authentic worth does not appear in a physical or visual reflection. True and valuable worth exists on the inside. You see it through reflections of character and deeds. Indeed, it is not some surface-level quality. Think of the story of Aladdin. Was the greatest, most worthwhile treasure just inside the entrance to the Cave of Wonders? No. It was in the depths, at the central core of it all. Where should you start looking next for your diamond in the rough?

Remember, your worth is not the number on the scales or how you look in the mirror. It’s about understanding that your body is strong, capable, and deserving of love just as it is.

-Timothy Ferriss

We do not fix ourselves by wishing away what is. We fix ourselves by taking a clear look at the current state of things. Then, we begin to focus in on one or two things to work on. Instantaneous results are either fallacies or short-lived. Each day may get tougher than the last, but, if you are doing your best, then you are proving your worth. It is literally impossible for us to fix everything in one day. Anything worthwhile should not be accessed via a shortcut anyway. The way to self-worth is persistent and aware effort. Eventually, you can look back and see all the strides that you made. Feel your worth. Work for and with your worth. Trust me please. If you start, it will prove worthwhile.

At the end it’s not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished. It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back.

-Denzel Washington

Worth is not meant to be self-contained. Self-worth is your well of energy to draw upon in order to help yourself and those around you. If you do not have or feel much self-worth, then you will not have or feel as much willingness to help others. We can best help others by first helping ourselves. It is not selfish. It is a worthy act of self-love.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 022025

I am thankful for many of the monks out there in the world; they prove that it is possible to put aside the desire for material and physical gains and possessions. They can devote and dedicate their life and their work to a higher purpose, defining and finding a sense of self-worth that transcends earthly ideas and ideals. They shore up their worth internally.

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that.

-Robin Williams

Think about how far back the role of monks go in the history of humanity. Almost 2,000 years. In this modern day and age, I do not think that such a practice is sustainable for everyone, at least anytime soon if ever. However, we can still learn plenty from monks. We can be thankful for the lessons that they teach and the guidance that they give. Ponder upon what drew them to such a lifestyle and practice. I have ideas as well as answers in some specific cases, and they run the range of possibilities. That is also a beauty of self-worth; there is no one-size-fits-all answer for it. Which fits you best, though? That is what matters. Feel your best; feel worthwhile. Then, share it with others, and help them when and where you can please. I believe that will be a worthy path.

Thou art even as a finely tempered sword concealed in the darkness of its sheath and its value hidden from the artificer’s knowledge. Wherefore come forth from the sheath of self and desire that thy worth may be made resplendent and manifest unto all the world.

-Bahá’u’lláh

Many monks excel at setting aside their selves, and this idea will not make sense to many currently. I think it feels foreign and scary to most people. I did not understand it as easily in the past as I do now. It is not easy to set aside ego, but it is worth it. We can really begin to see our full and true worth when we begin to examine our unsheathed self.

Are you willing to begin some self-examination?

What if it will stop you from more damnation?

You do not need to run off and join a monastery.

Embrace more peace and ignore anything eerie.

You can learn from them while in your own home.

That is one worth of YouTube, not some old tome.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 021625

When you define your own worth, the sky can be the limit. Actually, you can aim even higher. Shoot for the stars. Or, why even stop there? What lies even further beyond, in a higher state? A sugjestion: forever fix your forecasts firmly yet flexibly for the firmament.

Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.

-Beyoncé

What are you really and truly worth? Do you define that question for yourself, or do you allow outside influences to set that value for you? I used to attach my own sense of self-worth to many external factors, and I was quite miserable back then. Now, as I possess my own strong sense of self-worth, I feel more fulfilled and overall happier in general.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

-Marcus Aurelius

Just like growth, I believe worth should be cultivated and developed from the inside out, not from the outside in. In which direction(s) are you currently expanding? Are you even expanding currently? Why or why not? Are you at least enhancing your worth? I sugjest meditating or quietly reflecting on these thoughts. True self-worth cannot be bought :)

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 021425

Be confident in your ability to love yourself and others; do not let fear win instead of cheer. There will be challenges; you can proceed through the good and the bad with a sensible surety of self. Know thyself, keep calm, and carry on with confidence. You are very loved. All emotions will come and go, but love is beautiful because it is a constant.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

I dare you to be more confident. Believe in yourself. I am not alone. Plenty of us out here see and believe in your potential. It is now time for you to do the same. Turn the page, turn over a new leaf, and accept some new beliefs, ok? People like us can share and spread beneficial and healthy levels of self-confidence for us all. I dare you to love.

Success isn’t about how your life looks to others; it’s about how it feels to you.

-Michelle Obama

Feel confident in your own being. Pave your lane with the best available materials possible. Prove your worth to your own self. Proceed in peace. Please plan personally, too. I went to the movies by myself this past weekend because there was a film out that I was curious to see. A couple months ago, I took a big trip abroad by myself. Both choices were outside my previous comfort zones, yet I stand by these decisions wholeheartedly.

Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.

-Brian Tracy

These moments can become intimidating if you stew on their what-ifs for too long. However, if you instead branch out beyond your comfort zone, you can grow your confidence greater and learn how to be even more comfortable in additional places and situations. Eventually, you can carry a nearly-constant confidence with you, but please also remember to balance it out with a healthy dose of humility. Use it to help, not hurt.

The root of true confidence grows from our ability to be in unconditional friendship with ourselves.

-Pema Chödrön

Various solo trips give me plenty of time to spend many moments in contemplative self-reflection. I can be deeply introspective while quietly observing and soaking in the world around me. The levels of comfort and confidence that I now have in and with myself have risen and expanded to amounts that I honestly did not think were possible for me before. Much of my negative self-talk is gone or is in the process of disappearing, my extreme spikes in emotions are subduing, and I am learning to be a great friend to myself now.

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

-Bertrand Russell

Once you have steeled yourself with solid confidence, you can move from a fragile home on sand to a stronghold amidst majestic mountains. You can choose to finally move on from walking on broken glass. Let your heels heal. Forge a confident path forward in your lane. Define the details of your divineness. What is your worth? Only you should say.

Whatever confronts you, don’t believe it. When something appears, shine your light on it. Have confidence in the light that is always working inside you.

-Linji Yixuan

Honestly, I could not always be proud of how I have gone through life in the past. Now, though, I can proudly, humbly, and confidently say that I lived. I am living my best life, and I am further improving it when and where I can. Can you say the same? I hope so <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 021225

Have you ever wondered… about boundaries? I have. Boundaries are meant to safeguard your sacred space. They should not impose on others, similar to how their boundaries should leave your lane and personal choices unaffected, too. Boundaries are guardrails.

One shouldn’t just hope to be treated well; one must insist on it.

-Abraham Verghese

Think about it… how can you expect people to respect your boundaries if you do not verbalize them? Therefore, boundaries present you with an opportunity to work on your confidence because you can voice which lines should not be crossed or which topics should not be broached. If someone chooses to ignore and encroach, then you have yet another chance to create more confidence by gently defending your boundary. If possible, there is no real need to be boisterous about it. You can still exude confidence while remaining calm, cool, and collected. Anything over the top may only incite petty oversteps by the poor- and paltry-minded. Stay focused confidently; you will be fine.

Confidence is not, ‘They will like me.’ Confidence instead is, ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.’

-Christina Grimmie

Y’all, I will be the first to admit that I have been notoriously bad at establishing effective boundaries in my past. I had a habit of trying to keep the peace at all costs, being a people pleaser to my own detriment at times. It was not healthy, and I am not proud of that past. I am quite glad to admit that those times have mostly passed. Speaking up for myself and confidently defending my boundaries is not always easy, but I know it maintains a safe and healthy space for me to live and thrive in. I think it is silly for us to stretch ourselves to breaking points if we continually extend beyond our boundaries.

boundaries are the most direct way for you to protect your energy.

make them clear for your sake. if they aren't, people will just keep taking more and more, not maliciously, but because they won't know when you need space or when you are feeling depleted.

creating boundaries is a proactive way of designing your life. to help maintain your inner and outer vibrancy, you must decide with clarity who and what can enter your space and when. boundaries are not about being overly strict or mean; they are about using your awareness of what is genuinely good for you to build a sanctuary that supports your growth.

in a world where there is a constant battle for your attention and a potentially overwhelming amount of information, you need proper digital and in-person boundaries to support your mental health.

-yung pueblo

Do you know your boundaries? If not, then there is a good starting point for you. How much of your time should different people be allowed to have per day, week, or month? Yes, you can truly plan for allotments if that will help you confidently live your best life.

If you fail to plan,
you plan to fail.

-Benjamin Franklin

Declare and defend your demarcations.

Reassess and update based on inspirations.

Love all your good vocations and vacations.

Stay in your lane without any deviations.

Life your life confidently as a demonstration.

Show what is possible with determination.

Flow freely through life; embrace jubilation.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 021025

I mourn for all of the sad and selfish people out there who feel that it is necessary to resort to negging. Think about it… rather than working on being their best selves, they choose to challenge and compromise the confidence of others. Instead of actively lifting themselves and others up, they drag those around them down to their despicable depths. Why be a nasty creature waiting in the mines of misery or Moria? You can choose to walk along channels of cherished confidence, planning to retire in the Shire, dames and sires.

Be humble in your confidence yet courageous in your character.

-Melanie Koulouris

I will clarify an important aspect. Choosing to be intentionally hurtful towards someone with blatant lies is the problem with negging. Choosing to be blunt with constructive criticism can be entirely different. One is sharing valuable truths that can be tricky to stomach while the other one is deceiving with falsities. In my humble opinion, I think tough love can be valid and warranted at times. Negging does not originate from an authentic place of true love. It exists due to selfish and corrupt ideas of love. Tough love can hurt, but it allows confidence to be built back stronger because a weakness can be identified and then improved upon. Are you ready and willing to put in that work, though?

I think the best way to have confidence is not to allow everyone else’s insecurities to be your own.

-Jessie J

Do not be a shell or an empty husk of your true self. Haters will hate. They will try to bring us down to their level. It is easier to be compliant when we are not confident. Be your best self, and ignore the other noise as best as you can. Avoid nothingness please.

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.

-Aristotle

Do not allow anyone else to negate your inner light. Please propagate it for the positive people. There are plenty of us here, ready and waiting to cultivate collective confidence.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 020825

jaunty vs. diffident

jaunty (adjective) – having or expressing a lively and self-confident manner; smartly trim; a stylish or spirited confidence

diffident (adjective) – lacking confidence in one’s own ability, worth, or fitness; timid; shy; restrained or reserved in manner, conduct, etc.

Embody feeling jaunty; avoid unnecessary flaunties.

Make a difference; avoid diffidence.

When you are confident, you need less validation.

You can proceed without external confirmation.

Trust your gut.

Skip the ruts.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

However, remember to toe the very fine line

between what is benign and what is malign.

You may not always be nice to all whom you cross.

Tough love can be rough but you may need to toss

Constructive feedback to help others grow.

At least you confidently chose to show.

Did they listen, or did they contract?

We do not control how they react.

May your steps be filled with pep.

May you be the universe’s great rep.

Life will test you plenty, probably daily.

Put the wind behind you; fill your sailies.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 020625

I am thankful for the rap god among many mere mortals. Whether a mockingbird or the monster, Eminem has established himself as a confident mainstay within the realm of rap music. To gauge your own confidence, I sugjest asking yourself, “if you had one shot or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?” You can still be confident in yourself even if your palms are sweaty, your knees are weak, and your arms are heavy. It shows that you care about what you do.

Confidence is the only key. I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be [themself].

-Emma Stone

At the same time, please do not be afraid to ask for help. After all, we all may cry out on occasion, “somebody save me.” A lot of confidence is also required whenever you choose to be vulnerable and authentic. Marshall Mathers III has been his mostly-unapologetic and true self across the decades. We have watched him hone and master his craft each and every time. He has confidently and courageously persevered through some very dark and troubling times in his past. He is a composed and compelling rapper. Why else does he have the record for most words in a hit single? Em rises to the challenges, confidently.

The confidence I now have is rooted in the discovery that who I am is okay.

-Dudley Moore

Think about the lack of precedence here. He broke into a space that has been historically dominated by black artists. Listen to the interviews by Dr. Dre, showing how impressed and surprised he was by Eminem. One person’s confidence shored up another’s. He not only stayed in the rap scene; Eminem began to lead and redefine the genre repeatedly.

I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done.

-Robert Downey, Jr.

If you are confident, then you do not need to love the way you lie. Owning your truth creates more self-confidence; then, this way, you do not have a need for any magic tricks like Houdini. Emotions will come and go each and every day. They are all temporary. Confidence can be a constant if you continue to cultivate it courageously. Do not let it blind you, but believe in yourself please. As for the real Slim Shady, I am very thankful that he confidently stood up. He never gave up on his childhood dream. Look at him now.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 020225

Do you believe in yourself? How much doubt do you possess? Confidence is critical in order to dance through life as smoothly and effectively as possible. Like a snowball, we can start small and let our self-confidence accumulate slowly with each action that augments the aggregate. Soon enough, you may need to balance out an avalanche.

Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too.

-David Storey

Rise to a challenge. Prove your self-worth. If you have strengthened your fortitude, then you can tap into a strong knowing of self that lends itself well towards a healthy level of confidence. Self-awareness enables you to recognize your rational potential. It allows you to stretch to full capacity within your lane. Self-confidence is a worthy trait to cultivate. Stay mindful, though, of how it can be easily corrupted into narcissism if you do not manage it vigilantly. Similarly, lacking an appropriate amount of confidence delivers a defeating and downgrading deluge of dreadful doubt. You are not very helpful to anyone if you feel down and out, so use your clout and your best next step to figure your life out.

Doubt can motivate you, so don’t be afraid of it. Confidence and doubt are at two ends of the scale, and you need both. They balance each other out.

-Barbra Streisand

Life will not always be easy. We all face tests during difficult moments. Some may be simple while others will be complex. We may be able to foresee certain ones on the horizon. Meanwhile, a swift tribulation may sneak up on us without any hesitation. Will you let many of them overwhelm you, or will you confidently captain your ship? Will you steer onward with determination or only cry out in shock, as if facing eternal damnation?

Our lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from our lack of confidence.

-Seneca

Confidence assures you of your skill sets. I like reminding myself that I can slow down and identify at least my best next step. In addition, we each have a choice as to which script we subscribe to and follow along with in our own head, heart, and soul. Do we listen to the negative noise, or do we empower a positive mindset in order to rise up and face the challenges of life in healthy and meaningful ways, benefitting us all? I sugjest considering at least two sides to anything in order to commence contesting confidence.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 013125

All you need is a little love.

Be strong, and let your heart keep on beating.

Do not give in to any defeating

because life can be quite quick and fleeting.

Grow your circle with new meetings.

Flex your brain with warm greetings.

Anger can be rather depleting

if you fan the flames with too much heating.

Keep the good; toss out and fix the bad; do some weeding.

After that step, switch to healthy seeding.

Sow virtues, mantras, goals, and dreams.

Let positivity burst forth from your seams.

Let the cream rise to the top; avoid negative and hurtful memes.

You can build yourself up, or you can break yourself down.

Which do you choose, sugjester or clown?

Do you control your emotions, or do they control you?

Therein lies the key to fortitude.

Peacefully, I bid you adieu.

Fortitude is victory.

-Oliver Goldsmith

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 012925

Have you ever wondered… about mantras? I have. I use them a lot, probably multiple times each and every day. They are truths for you to hold near and dear whenever a mental reset may be needed to course correct a current current of emotions that may have derailed you from your fortress of fortitude. Mantras can guide you back to your North Star, your best path forward in each and every moment. You can reference existing ones, or you can make your own based on what resonates best with you at your core.

Fortitude is a great help in distress.

-Plautus

For me, the guardrails are some of my favorite mantras. I recently reduced them all to a single word as a fun and silly exercise to exercise my brain and creativity some when it amused me: impeccable, impersonal, imassumptive, and iminopportune. I fully recognize that they get rather weird by the end, but I like the paved pattern. It promotes a positive permanence within my psyche now. While odd, it is easily memorable for me, too. That is the beauty of mantras. When you feel the truth of it deep within you, you know you have a gem to hold onto; you know this treasure can help you later on down the road in your lane. When times may be tough, call upon it. Allow it to settle and recenter your nerves.

Mantras exist in any and all languages. Again, you can follow along by adopting existing ones, and you can also flex your own creative muscles. Will you find or make at least one new mantra this week? I hope so, and I wish you the absolute best of luck with it :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all.

Mournday – 012725

I mourn for meatheads. They look so big and tough on the outside, but how truly strong are they on the inside? Sure, there are rare exceptions, but the bulk of them are bulky for a reason. They think a strong exterior will keep them safe and protected from what has previously hurt their interior. I know because I went through a meathead phase when I was younger. There was a time when I cared more about protein than a nutritionally-balanced diet, max weight and not maximum effort. Follow the way, not the whey.

Macho does not improve mucho.

-Zsa Zsa Gabor

We do not need to bolster more bold bravado. We could all benefit from minimizing the masochistic machismo that memorializes a mainstay among mucho macho men. What if you start lifting mental weights instead? What if you begin building your inner strength? Imagine how the different layers of your balanced and healthy being all exude fortitude.

For we are naturally disposed to admire more than anything else the [person] who shows fortitude in adversity.

-Seneca

Curb any bigorexia by embiggening your heart and brain instead. Feel more to fear less. Free yourself from the shackles of societal standards. These chains will not be broken by your physical muscles, though; this act requires fortitude. Dig deep to rediscover your divine details, rep after rep, set after set. You do not need to fully max out this mystery immediately. It is probably best to start slow and small, building up the brain in balanced and healthy ways that set yourself up for the best success across the longest time. I can certainly assure you that there is no risk of becoming sterile should you study cerebrally.

True masculinity isn’t a surface-level quality… a defining characteristic of anyone is the ability to lead with integrity and live honorably.

-Chris Raynor

Is roid rage ever referred to positively? That should probably be a clear clue as to how healthy or not such a practice is for you. Take my word, or find out the hard way, okay?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 012525

mettle vs. meddle

mettle (noun) – courage and fortitude; disposition or temperament

meddle (verb) – to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation; interfere officiously and unwantedly

Meld your mettle.

Be slow to meddle.

What is your metal?

Will you earn a medal?

Are you working on your mettle, or are you busy meddling in other lanes? Do not make excuses; do not try to justify the latter in lieu of the former. Meddling can feel more fun in the short-term, but molding your mettle enables you to better help yourself and others. Everyone will benefit from your impactful improvement instead of impeding impudence.

Fortitude… it means fixity of purpose. It means endurance. It means having the strength to live with what constrains you.

-Hilary Mantel

We may see how others can live better, but it is their choice as far as how they best manage their lane. To be fully open and honest here, I struggle with this a lot. This site gives me great practice at sharing my thoughts without involuntarily forcing my opinions on others. I benefit by building my mettle without meddling. Others also benefit from my mindful improvement. For anyone who sees this content and chooses to read it, they will learn whatever they glean. Maybe it will help them fortify fortitude, too, while fixing any fixations to try to fix others without first checking what the other person actually wants.

More mettle

Less meddle

Alchemetal

Need medal?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 012325

I wish I could share a day with Carl Jung. Even though we sadly do not have any days of life overlapping, very few people make me feel as seen or heard as this man does. To be as brilliant and accepted as he was in the scientific world, paving the way for modern psychology, he also embraced his eccentricities enthusiastically. He did not shy away from creating new concepts or exploring knowledge from any corner or community. When he persisted through periods of extreme stress, wondering if his limits were breaking at points in his life, he pushed through and pieced himself back together.

I didn’t need to get knocked down to know the fortitude that I have in me.

-Andre Ward

Carl Jung’s fortitude could go to toe-to-toe with pretty much anything and anyone. We have Carl to thank for thinking up two of my absolute favorite terms:

individuation and synchronicity

Individuation – the idea that we each can and should become our best self. We are not living here for the purpose of blending or fitting into a common mold. No, we should each explore and embellish our individual identities. As an exquisite alchemical metaphor, Carl alluded to impure souls as lead and perfected souls as gold. I wonder how many golden souls exist. Have you considered the color of your character?

Synchronicity – when you see enough things interconnect and interrelate, there comes a point where I think you are simply foolish if you keep ignoring the universe as it gently and silently shouts for your mindful presence. As I understand it, that relates to how the scenario played out between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud when they fell out. They were close colleagues and friends for quite some time, but there came a point when Carl continued on with his inner truths; Sigmund blindly and belligerently refused to consider.

Carl Jung was so strong in his resolve that he carried his field of study forward all by himself. I am so very thankful for his fortified fortitude. It forecasts the powerful potential we all possess. Sometimes it is those nearest and dearest to us that can test and forge our finest fortitude. It can be lonely paving our own path, but it can also be very fulfilling.

Fix in your mind to overcome all obstacles. When you truly determine this, the dawn will start to appear.

-Lincoln Patz

Another of my favorite people who I will more than likely write about in the future is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. In his younger and poorer years, he curiously attended a free lecture about the trauma of Europeans post-WWII. Who was his lecturer? Carl Jung.

Carl’s fortitude is so strong that you can watch an interview with him later in life where the interviewer asks him if he still believes in God. He answers no because he knows. He does not need to believe when he already knows that God is real. Some people will scoff at this like Sigmund did, and that is each person’s choice within their lane. How well does that decision sit with you, though, at your core? Will you stop and listen long enough?

To accuse others for one’s own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one’s education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one’s education is complete.

-Epictetus

How are you doing as of late? Are you distracted and scattered by this and that? Do you want to continue maintaining an unwhole personality, or do you want to strengthen and solidify your singular self? It requires steadfast fortitude to fully accept and integrate your entire being. Only then can you best proceed, acknowledging all parts while not acting on it all. Providing progress in the best, healthy way for yourself and all others.

In closing, I also appreciate how thorough and meticulous Carl was with leaving behind plenty of his written works. I will be working through a lot of his ideas slowly but surely for many more years. What will you work through to fine-tune your fortitude?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 011925

It takes a deep and profound level of strength to stare directly at an issue or a problem and face it without batting an eye. What comes to mind for you when you think about fortitude? Is it a strong person capable of lifting heavy weights? That was frequently a prior misconception of this word for me. My education continues alongside these posts.

It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.

-J.R.R. Tolkien

Fortitude has nothing to do with physical strength. Fortitude relates to your inner strengths. How strong are you emotionally and mentally? I would also advocate for spiritual strength as well here. When your hand in life is dealt with danger, difficulty, or temptation, are you quick to simply cave in, quit, or run away? Or, do you have skills and mindsets to rely on that you have slowly and progressively trained over time? It is naive for us to only wish for nothing but good times in our lives. We will face challenges. I often face multiple challenges daily. Will we quickly crumble and fall apart in those moments, or can we keep calm and carry on courageously because we have fine-tuned fortitude?

Fortitude is a main discussion point in many religions. Are they all wrong, or is it one of the common threads that we all should be able to agree upon? I believe that we should all work on being strong in mind, body, and soul. What will you work on strengthening?

Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.

-Michelle Obama

Change out your next breakdown for a breakaway instead. You can choose to let something affect you adversely, or you can flip the script, restoring your harmony.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 011725

In 1814, hundreds of thousands of gallons of beer broke through a wall of a brewery and lethally disrupted a wake with yet more death. Eight people were killed that day by beer, and they were not even trying to consume alcohol. Three were five years old or younger. Wooden vats were slowly phased out as the storage mechanism for concentrated brews as a result of this unfortunate event in England. It is recorded as the London Beer Flood.

In 1919, more than two million gallons of molasses made up waves as tall as 40 feet that moved as fast as 35 miles per hour through the streets of Boston. The devastating deluge destroyed buildings and claimed 21 lives. Unfortunately, many people actually were slower than molasses then. This accident killed people because the storage vat was not built appropriately with thick-enough walls. It is known as the Great Molasses Flood.

How about the OceanGate debacle two years ago? I do not want to unpack this recent tragedy any further than I need to because the lunacy of it upsets me deeply. Guess what, though? The hull or shell was once again not thick enough to perform optimally under pressure.

The only real danger that exists is man himself.
He is the great danger…
we are the origin of all coming evil.

-Carl Jung

Think about it personally. How much pressure can you pack into yourself before exploding? What if you practiced temperance instead? Then, from such a state of even balance and control, you have room to spare on both sides when you start to get too drained or too filled. It is important to adequately manage your surface pressure.

Most things that stay under too much pressure for too long often produce poor results. I know they say no pressure, no diamonds, but there has to be a temperate balance to the process. You need to first train and temper a shell that is made hard enough to handle all that life may inevitably throw at you. Just because you have thick skin, though, does not mean you should not still have a soft and gooey center. Finding a sweet balance between the two is key. You should be able to continue caring for yourself and others deeply and truly while also remaining unaffected by any and all external influences and persuasions.

A tried-and-tested level of proven self-control. Steering yourself as best as you can in the best direction for your lane in the ways that are best for you and your progress. Know when to press a pressure release valve to let off some steam, and also know when to build up the pressure inside if you are starting to run dry. Temperance is about toeing the finest line of possible perfection that we are capable of. Will we be perfect? No. Should we stop striving for it? Also no. We should fine-tune the balance, and we should start by strengthening our exterior shells while maintaining a polite permeability as permitted.

Temperate temperance is best;
intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.

-Mark Twain

And hey, even now, when I still watch a good movie, I can single-handedly stomach an entire bucket of popcorn during that sitting. Like any good thing in life, there is a best time and a best place for it all. I hope you will tread towards temperancy terrifically.

May you master your tempests and weather your storms with strength and ease.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 011525

Have you ever wondered… about mindful eating? I have. If you look around in most places, you will see a lot of mindless eating. I did plenty of it in my past, and I still notice myself slipping into such a state on occasion. Noticing and adjusting it is what matters.

When is the last time that you stopped and simply smelled all of your food before digging in? Have you participated in a blessing prior to a plate at any point as of late?

Have you ever whispered words of intention or positive affirmations to your food before each bite? I know how weird that may sound, but I am a big fan. I do not practice this approach constantly, but I do try to make it a point with at least each of my apples.

Practice mindful eating – eat slowly and concentrate during meals to better recognize hunger and fullness signals.

-Gary Taubes

Mindful eating is a helpful practice to motivate moderation. As you learn more about nutrition facts and true serving sizes, you become more informed and better able to make wiser choices to best take care of your body. Now, I diet more strictly than most people because of the beliefs that I hold. For example, I avoid noxious roots (like garlic and onions) because Buddhists believe they interfere with healthy inhibitions. I try to make the best, morally-sound decisions as often as possible. I want to maintain temperance.

Have you considered how healthy some of the processed foods or sugary drinks are based on their color alone? Just today, the FDA finally banned red dye number 3 from all foods because it has been a known carcinogen for a long time. The government is very slow to act at times. Do you want to wait for them to try to save your life years too late, or do you want to begin mindfully eating what you know is best for you? Clean slate.

Health consists with temperance alone.

-Alexander Pope

Temperance curbs those cravings and temptations. I have a wicked sweet tooth; I used to be a fiend for Sour Patch Kids. I miss eating them some, but I value feeling much healthier more. My teeth are happier with the decision, too. This is only one example of what all is possible when you slow down and deliberately decide on what you consume and what you do not consume. Both are important decisions because you can either help build your body back up, or you can slowly break it down. In which direction do you want to trend?

By being more mindful of what you’re eating, you’re able to break unhealthy patterns.

-Khloe Kardashian

I can even recall nights when I would eat an entire bag of Sun Chips in one evening. Do you think I ever felt truly fulfilled after any of those instances? No, I felt yet more guilt and shame. Reflecting back on my past patterns now and seeing how far I have progressed on my own journey feels significant suddenly. I still catch myself mindlessly gorging on something from time to time, but I am quicker to recognize and correct such actions and missteps in my lane, and that feels sublime. Chew on that concept for a moment please.

While we are on a related topic, have you ever wondered about how we can sustainably feed the growing world population for a mindful and healthier future? Andy Jarvis has.

I hope you will mindfully eat this food for thought.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all.

Mournday – 011325

This post has required the strongest practice of temperance from me this cycle because of how my blood begins to boil each time I dig deeper into the dreadful details. Today, I mourn for the victims of recent, senseless, and intemperate attacks – the New Year’s Day atrocity in New Orleans as well as the Christmas market horror in Germany only days before the actual holiday. These two insurgent individuals, who I will not even name here, both committed the worst action imaginable. Why ever take the life of another?

Temperance is moderation in the things that are good and total abstinence from the things that are foul.

-Frances E. Willard

What true god asks for the willful and random killing of innocents? God says to not kill, so what makes these actions acceptable? Nothing. Nothing at all makes these angered and irrational actions acceptable. Temperance exited the equation. Extremist groups are some of the most excessively intemperate entities to exist. Frankly, they feel inhumane.

Take care not to feel towards the inhuman, as they feel towards men.

-Marcus Aurelius

How can we balance out these drastic extremes? How can we restore temperance across the board? We can be too cold, and we can be too hot. Living at one end or the other for too long will increase the likelihood of similar catastrophes. What if we increase our own awareness for how often we incite such incendiary ideas? What if we begin to better control our own thoughts and actions in order to improve our own lives as well as the lives of all of those around us? I firmly believe, wholeheartedly, that we have no need to ever use our weapons (guns, cars, etc.) for an unspeakable and possibly-unforgivable act.

Their final judgment awaits beyond, but I fear for their safety and well-being in their next life. I will temper those thoughts by bringing my empathy back to those who deserve it so much more- the families and loved ones of the victims who are all now reeling from recent events. May each of you find solace in knowing that justice will be served. May you eventually even out from an extreme that you may be feeling currently. More wrongs will not make anything right. Let us each shine a light on our internal fight to find and fuel our own temperance as best as we can. I believe in a better world, a freer and fairer one, where we can fear each other less and love one another more. It is why I write, and it is why I refuse to ever give up. I will forever strive for best success as temperately as I can.

Temperance to be a virtue must be free,
and not forced.

-C.A. Bartol

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 011125

forbearing vs. immoderate

forbearing (adjective/verb) – being patient or practicing self-control when subjected to annoyance or provocation; refraining or holding back appropriately

immoderate (adjective) – not moderate; exceeding just or reasonable limits; excessive; extreme; intemperate; without bounds

Be forbearing one with another and set not your affections on things below. Pride not yourselves in your glory, and be not ashamed of abasement.

-Baha’u’llah

All things in moderation. I would argue almost all things in moderation. Some things are best left unconsumed or untouched. Take my word for it, or find out for yourself; it is up to you to appropriately moderate yourself. How is your current level of self-moderation? I know how bad mine has been at points in the past. I recently heard people older than me discussing how incapable they felt they were at appropriately self-moderating. They said it so confidently like it was an immovable fact, like they could never acquire such healthy moderation. It was honestly a saddening moment for me to listen to because I personally know that it is possible. I used to speak very similar words. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

Developing healthy temperance requires effortful commitment to your own well-being. Are you willing to take more control of your choices in more moments? Are you willing to abandon some of the chaos that you currently blame for your oversights? More conscious presence leads to more control of what you do and what you do not do. Can you better monitor and moderate your thoughts to minimize distractions to stay here and now more?

Every soul, the philosopher says, is involuntarily deprived of truth; consequently in the same way it is deprived of justice and temperance and benevolence and everything of the kind. It is most necessary to bear this constantly in mind, for then you will be more gentle towards all.

-Marcus Aurelius

I wonder how true the following statement is: the more immoderate your thoughts are, the more immoderate your actions are. If your brain is going here, there, and everywhere with endless trains of thoughts, then it is not too surprising that your actions become mindless. You are so distractedly mindful (not in a good way) with the running internal dialogue that you later blame a false idea that you cannot change when reflecting on whatever mindless actions may now fill you with guilt, shame, or some other low emotion. Learn and practice temperance with your thoughts in order to temper your own mood and actions. Perhaps that is the appropriate progression along this path of perception and performance. Everything builds from the inside out. Rather than blaming something untrue, sit down and shine the light back on you. Be forbearing with yourself as well as with others. I imagine we could all benefit from some more grace and patience each and every day. What a world if we could all be so kind as to bestow that upon one another as best and often as we can. Perhaps then I can cease so many sugjestions.

Moderation is key.
Don’t overdo anything.
Balance.
Soften.
Enjoy.

-Ryan Holiday

Each of our lanes should be bound by guardrails to safeguard us all from one another. We share Earth; we should temper ourselves for our own sake as well as for all others.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 010925

I can easily temper the complexity of this post because you can find plenty of information about this famous figure elsewhere. With that said, whenever I consider temperance, Marcus Aurelius often jumps to mind. Hand-selected to assume one of the most powerful positions on the planet at his time, he sets a golden standard for us all to live by.

When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.

-Marcus Aurelius

As emperor of the Roman Empire for years, this monumental man could have whatever he wanted. Yet, what did he focus on? The truly valuable and intangible aspects of life. Marcus delighted simply in waking up each morning. Do you? He did not get weighed down in material wealth and accumulations. He focused on health and acted as an ideal example for all of us to strive towards. To be given the possibility of everything and not change who you are at your core is one of the greatest accomplishments I can possibly imagine. To continually strive each day towards bettering yourself instead of resting on your plentiful laurels. To leave behind a map that we can all read and follow if we so choose to lead a life with a similar degree of temperance. Would you rather tame your lane or fall victim to all that surrounds it, becoming enslaved by the next ad, fad, or vice?

Stop allowing your mind to be a slave, to be jerked about by selfish impulses, to kick against fate and the present, and to mistrust the future.

-Marcus Aurelius

I want you to have it all, but will you still stay true to the best version of you if and when you do? Meditations is one of my favorite books. It essentially consists of many entries from his time spent journaling and reflecting on his days. While I am still working my way through it slowly when I want more wisdom to digest, I love that we have the intuitive reflections of someone so prominent and temperate preserved for posterity. Marcus never intended for his thoughts to be visible to the public, yet we are so lucky and fortunate to have such wisdom available. I think it would be dumb to ignore his informative insights.

Fight to be the person that philosophy tried to make you.

-Marcus Aurelius

Temperance is not about being a tough person. Temperance is about being your best self because you know it to be what is best for all. Marcus openly discusses crying out of empathy for himself and others on multiple occasions. He tuned into and turned towards his emotions instead of tuning them out and turning his back on them. The great Roman emperor channeled each feeling as it arose in order to move on to each eventual event with as even of a temper as humanly possible. Bottling up your emotions is not healthy, and it does not produce a temperate climate for you or those around you. Make yourself internally wealthy. When he reflected on what he learned and valued from those who helped him grow into the shining beacon of justice that we now admire, speaking about his adoptive father, Marcus wrote “you could have said of Antoninus, as they say, of Socrates, that he knew how to enjoy and abstain from things, that most people find it hard to abstain from, and all too easy to enjoy.” We, too, can learn how to live our best lives if we begin to cultivate and grow our own temperance. Will you give it a try?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 010525

News Flash: you are not cooler than me :)

Guess what else, though? I am also not cooler than you :) Feel seen by your own eyes. That is what matters; that is enough. Anything else is extra, excessive, and extraneous. In a way, build blinders for your lane. Drive your own life with your own focus on what is best for you. Should you really rely on others to tell you? I do not think so. So, I sugjest finding quiet stillness to listen to your inner child. They know what is truly best for you. Your inner child can and should serve as your personal litmus test, too. Just because you can do something does not mean you should. I can do many things tonight, but I choose to work on what is best for me and my lane. That is how you begin to build temperance.

There are no better cosmetics than a severe temperance and purity, modesty and humility, a gracious temper and calmness of spirit; and there is no true beauty without the signatures of these graces in the very countenance.

-Arthur Helps

Building upon the weather reference from last post fits well here because temper can be crucial towards cultivating temperance. Like temperature, you should respond to your temper accordingly. Bathing suits are not appropriate at all times, and suits will not suit you in all situations. Similarly, your temperament should adjust fluidly. How well can a person move through life if they are only ever sad, angry, or happy, for example? Each and every emotion has its time and place. There is a reason for every season. If you do not respond to external factors well, you will struggle. Balancing and reading your own internal barometer allows you to gauge and forecast what the next best thing is for you.

The ingredients of health and long life are great temperance, open air, easy labor, and little care.

-Philip Sidney

Install insightful and intuitive instrumentation internally to investigate your personal weather patterns. In calm and smooth conditions, you can charge ahead with more of a carefree nonchalance. When storm clouds are on the horizon, you know to slow your pace or hunker down in a stronghold to patiently wait out and outlast any downpours of depression or high winds of unexpected change. All of these events can appear on your radar throughout your life. Are you monitoring that radar? Have you even built one yet? Temperance tames and tempers the tempests. Find the flow of your lane and follow along. We can dance in the rain, but we should also stay mindful of any nearby lightning or tornados. Temperance tangos to the tempo as we thread through torrid torrents.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 010325

Patience empowers and promotes politeness.

Who truly appreciates rude and abrupt interjections, being cut off mid-sentence?

We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see… and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our quiet.

-William Butler Yeats

Raise a hand. Wait your turn. It can be that simple when you patiently slow down and think it all through. Consider this an additional clue for both me and you. Seriously, in professional workspaces, I will raise my hand and wait my turn. It establishes priority, prevents perturbing flow, and, well, it works well. I ruffle significantly fewer feathers. Workplace climate forecasts better weather. Whether you are convinced or not, try it. Consider this a bright and sunny sugjestion to avoid having a raincloud form overhead.

Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone.

-Margaret Atwood

Prime, primed positioning pays profitably when you patiently practice progressively perfecting preparations in order to pounce at opportune points, perhaps planned or unprompted. After all, we know that paths to hell (or purgatory?) can be paved with good (or pristine) intentions (postulations). Patience proves to be pretty appropriate and pleasant to employ to a particular point. Prioritize positive projects post-pause posthaste.

Fear both the heat and the cold of your heart, and try to have patience, if you can.

-J.R.R. Tolkien1

Blending all of these beliefs together builds the best balance because patience by itself will not result in many residuals. Leveraging those lulls to limber lithe levels of legwork, both literal and figurative, can set you up for significant success. Balancing productive uptimes with restorative downtimes is a key. Patience is an important piece of the perplexing puzzle that we can call life (or people, personas, or personalities).

[The river] knew now where it was going, and it said to itself, ‘There is no hurry. We shall get there some day.’

-A.A. Milne

How well do you currently understand your own inner workings? Are you aware of the universal flow, to know when to move fast or slow? Take a bit, have a sit, and look under your own hood. Are things good? Should any alignments be adjusted? Can you identify anything busted? Repairs are possible when you ask yourself, “what is underneath it all?”

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

  1. Happy Birthday, Mr. Tolkien, wherever you are are :) <3 ↩︎

Wondersday – 010125

Have you ever wondered… about mudras? I have. For today, the focus will be on the prithvi mudra which corresponds with the earth element and aids us in becoming more grounded. As a result, we can better and more easily practice patience in such a state of grounded calmness. For the prithvi mudra, the tips of your ring fingers should touch the tips of your thumbs. The other three fingers on each hand should point straight outward. Do not hold any tension in any of the fingers. Then, ease into a peaceful and patient state.

The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.

-Croft M. Pentz

Even the act of practicing the prithvi mudra (or other mudras) as you focus on meditating more can be extremely helpful with dispelling impatience. What if some of these recent athletes adjusted their attention to such an amiable attitude instead of still squabbling amongst one another? I know it is easier said than done when the endorphins are so flooded, but it is at least one better approach for those stressful situations. Countless improvements for such scenarios exist if they only begin to brainstorm better behavior.

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

-Joyce Meyer

Mudras even help me outside of meditation. When I feel myself becoming too emotional in a moment, whether it be too low into sadness or fear or too high into joy or excitement, a quick tap of some fingers together into a brief mudra can serve as a helpful reminder that I am beginning to get carried away by my own emotions. I can breathe, slow down, and be patient again with all that is unfolding around me. Patience prompts persistent, personal practice. Perfecting it is not the point. Perpetually improving it provides power.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :)

Mournday – 123024

I struggled to patiently put this post together. It feels like something was in the water or pudding around the prior holidays; so much impatience popped up in many places at a surprisingly rapid pace. In general, I mourn for all of the impatient people. How much of life are we rushing through? Why are we often hurrying from one thing to the next? How frequently are we chasing something in the future instead of patiently enjoying the here and now? When do we pause to reflect and breathe some? Please have goals, yet do not forget to also appreciate each passing point along the way. The present is our present.

This past week in Florida, a fire truck did not patiently obey the railroad crossing signs. Instead of helping with active emergencies, this crew added to them when a train wrecked that truck at the intersection. Perhaps peril proves the importance of patience.

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.

-Chinese proverb

Peppered through this previous weekend, I am shocked by the number of headlines I saw popping up about many bouts between teams in various sports at varying levels. College and professional football and basketball seemed to be riddled with violent impatience as unnecessary brawls broke out and led to numerous ejections. When an officiating figure even gets bloodied in the midst of an altercation, it feels like a new low level for all of us.

Have patience with all things, but, first of all with yourself.

-Saint Francis de Sales

We do not need to rush in most cases, and we certainly do not need to act aggressively in them as well. Accept the flow of life. Loosen up on your own reins in your lane. Please be patient, young grasshoppers. Just because we want to do something right now, does that mean we should? I do not think so. I think timing is essential to doing our very best. If you rush plans on your own timeline, then are you really respecting the fourth guardrail?

The hasty stroke goes oft astray.

-J.R.R. Tolkien

Practice patience. Restore your inner peace. Are any actions above not regretted now? Slow down. Think things through thoroughly. Plan your best next step, and take care.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 122824

respire (verb) – to inhale and exhale air for the purpose of maintaining life; breathe; to breathe freely again, after anxiety, trouble, etc.

Respirate, wait

Respirate, wait

Therein lies a path to being great

Want to rush ahead?

Still living with dread?

Take a moment to pause

in order to check cause

If you move too quick

then you may not pick

the best path forward,

doing something untoward

Avoid acting in haste

Employ more chaste

Respirate, wait

Respirate, wait

Pick the best path forward to be great

Patience is a key

for lots of harmony

No need to rush ahead

No need to feel dread

You can often slow down

to avoid being a clown

Patience is a key

Fulfilling destiny

Patience is a key 

Can you start to see?

Just breathe :) <3

Just breathe :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 122624

On a recent plane ride home, the in-seat entertainment screens were acting up some intermittently. I was patient with the staff as they reset systems multiple times, trying to fix the root cause. Regardless, for some odd and unexplained reason, I could not watch certain options that were contained within their current cinematic catalogue. Interestingly enough, though, I was able to view some of the media there as I tried to pick and choose. I patiently expanded my scope of considerations1 and enjoyed a few new discoveries that I may not have seen otherwise. Technology can be so finicky. I can fight it in a frustrated way, or I can patiently flow with it as best as I and it can. Long story short, I am very thankful for Oliver White as a result of being able to watch “A Thousand Casts.”

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.

-Lemony Snicket

The difficulties that Oliver has already endured during his existence are simply surreal and astounding in my opinion. I am quite thankful for his patience and perseverance. Who knows if he always felt calm, cool, and collected in each of the moments, but I certainly appreciated and valued his tone and pace as he patiently presented on his past problems. 

Great difficulties may be surmounted by patience and perseverance.

-Abigail Adams

When he was younger, Oliver broke his lower back in addition to other bones in a skiing accident. As he patiently waited, allowing his body to slowly recover, he discovered fly fishing, an activity that has transformed his life path. It allowed him to meet a Wall Street executive during a guided fishing expedition that he offered in South America. This exec was so impressed by Oliver that a job was offered. Talk about being a fish out of water when he moved to the Big Apple and joined a hedge fund. He patiently waited amidst the concrete jungle of NYC and the dog-eat-dog world of Wall Street. Oliver knew his true calling still existed out in nature, though. He patiently progressed on his life path, receiving support from that same exec who backed him. While creating his next passion project, he ran into a nightmare scenario. Down in the Caribbean, Oliver was kidnapped from his own property and hogtied for money in the back of his own vehicle. Throughout this one wild ride, he patiently endured multiple beatings, being hung in a noose, and an attempt at trapping him in his own truck as it was set aflame. In one event, he patiently endured how many nearly-unspeakable misfortunes? Nevertheless, he prevailed, and he is still with us. He has since settled back in the States and begun to establish a family.

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

-Plautus

When his son was born, though, this new baby spent his first month in the NICU. Talk about really trying a parent’s patience. All those devices and all those sounds when you are completely out of your element. Seeing the two together in the video was one of the cutest things ever. You can tell he can be a great dad. Patience can prove your power. Patience will show your potential and what all is truly possible if you let time tell.

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

-Aristotle

I do not know much about fishing, let alone fly fishing, but it sounds like Oliver obtained a golden opportunity to fly to Bhutan and spend days chasing after golden mahseer. I also do not yet know that much about many fish, but the golden mahseer appear to be one of the rarest and most highly revered creatures of the sea, at least in that region of the world. Oliver did not travel across the world to collect a trophy for a wall. He caught one after days of practiced patience, he cherished the moment while celebrating it with his current companions, and then he let the beautiful being return to its life in the water.

It strikes a very different tone than that dentist from Minnesota and his horrific act that is now jumping to mind from years ago. Countless other examples litter the past. Patiently build beautiful moments and make memories that will last a lifetime. We do not need to collect more stuff that will simply collect more dust. If we are patient and prolong our lives well enough, well, we will be enough dust in the end anyway. Anyway, keep your ledger clear and pure like Oliver White. Patience can help you stay clean and pristine.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

  1. A sugjestion: are you expanding or contracting your scope of considerations? ↩︎

Soulday – 122224

Let us start with a pondery1: has impatience ever benefited you? For example, what if you checked this website daily for the last two weeks, expecting to see something new or different? I said thirteen days would be taken off, and thirteen days were taken off. It honestly feels like I lived an entire lifetime within that timespan. That is the beauty of patience. You can simply go with the flow and let things unfold as they will. In the end, that is all that will happen anyway. We can resist the flow with impatience/impertinence, or we can learn to simply swim patiently through each and every moment that we face.

When you wear the weed of impatience in your heart instead of the flower of Acceptance-with-Joy, you will always find your enemies get an advantage over you.

-Hannah Hurnard

Look at nature all around us. It has its different seasons for differing reasons. Do you see them? Can you explore them? We can mirror similar cycles in our own lives/lanes, if we so choose; we do not need to maintain a constant speed and style at all times; we can learn when to grow, and we can also accept when to let go of pieces that no longer serve us and our present needs. Not everything is a present. Even something that once was a present may have already served its full purpose and now no longer provides any value.

What was once wrapped up beautifully may now be warped badly. Patience can be powerful; you can listen and learn a lot amidst pristine periods of peaceful stillness. Timing is an essential element here. In order to live as optimally as possible, we should avoid doing the next best thing too early or too late. Otherwise, is it really the next best thing if it is not at the best time? Right on time is key. Timeliness is key, do you see? Some situations warrant rapid speediness. Other moments make us wait and practice patience.

Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather, it is “timing”; it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.

-Fulton J. Sheen

Your body and mind may resist those slower moments, at least initially, because we are conditioned to be constantly going and doing something. We have notifications popping up and sounds all around trying to grab our attention. Patience may easily be something that we are tested with most frequently. We craft and crave our ideas of how the world should work or how others should behave. How often do those crafts and cravings truly serve us and our innate nature, though? Should we wish for fantastical dreamscapes, or should we accept working with nature? Can we learn to flow with the current of life?

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you for your patience; it is good to be back :) <3

I am thankful for my patience as I grow and improve it patiently.

May your holidays patiently proceed pleasantly.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

 

  1. I consider a pondery to be like a quandary except, instead of considering a problem, it is simply something for you to curiously ponder upon some. ↩︎

Soulday – 120824

Good things come to those who wait. Approximately how many times have you heard that phrase throughout your life? If you are like me, then patience is difficult to practice at times (or almost always). As a way to help us all hone more patience, I am going to take the next thirteen days off from publishing any posts. For now, we can all patiently await this next cycle that will focus on my belief in cultivating and growing greater patience.

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.

-Leo Tolstoy

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Please be patient, y’all :) <3

Freeday – 120624

In my experience and opinion, resilience can be easily underrated and overlooked. Similar to many prior cycles, I have gained even more appreciation and respect for this belief and virtue. I feel more steadfast and unperturbed at this point. While I know that feeling will ebb and flow with time, I also know what baseline can be established as I continue to work on maintaining awareness of key self-care habits and routines. These practices help me resiliently and resolutely remain on my best path possible within my own lane.

A wise man wavers;
a fool is fixed.

-Scottish proverb

How easily do you bounce back from adversity?

Can you work on your resilience?

Can you bend and sway without losing your way?

How will you deepen your roots to become even stronger?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 120424

Have you ever wondered… about wu wei? I have. The term is rooted in Confucianism as well as Taoism, the natural way of the universe. It is almost like doing nothing and letting the world come to you. It is not quite that simple, though. Ideally, we should still be doing the best next thing in as many moments as we can, but we should be mindful of how effortfully we exert ourselves. Are we attached to certain outcomes? Do we crave particular results? Those negative traits are points where we miss the point.

Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.

-Zhuangzi

Wu wei introduces resiliency as doing what we should do because it is what we should do. Marcus Aurelius talks about it as “the third thing”. If you wait for appreciation or recognition, then you did not do the thing for the right reason. Resilience allows us to remain strong in spite of no external acknowledgement beyond ourselves. We know what we have done, and that should be enough. We should not need to rely on peer pressure or crowd motivation to push on towards personal progress. As we build up and strengthen our own beliefs and virtues, then we can stand in self-assured resilience. We can sway and move as we need to without losing our roots and becoming ungrounded.

Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.

-Zhuangzi

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all.

Mournday – 120224

I mourn for suicide victims, those people who ran out of perceived resilience and saw no other way. I wish they could have gotten help before that final moment in order to not be lost, confused, and alone, thinking the only way forward was ending their precious life.

This story epitomizes a resilient football player. I honestly wonder whether that father-son pair was even real when he stood at the end of that pier. Regardless, though, I am thankful for them and that we still share this world with Grant Stuard. I believe that we can all be better because of his shared story. Please glean from it what you choose to.

I would be lying if I do not admit that I have struggled in my past with ideations at times. Life can get very challenging and difficult at points. Nowadays, though, I often remind myself that I would not face any tests if I could not handle them. That mindset renews my endurance and resilience to carry on with the burdens that have been placed upon me.

Behind one of my ears, I have a tattoo of a semicolon. I frequently enjoy writing with them; the meaning is even deeper, though. A sentence could be short and sweet; semicolons lengthen these sentences with an entire second half that would otherwise be separate. That is how I and many others view life now. My sentence could have ended many years ago, yet I have extended it beautifully as a result of creative punctuation. I avoided a firm and finite option, opting for an approach that still remains open-ended and unfolding before my very eyes; I feel quite blessed and thankful for the opportunity to soldier on. In addition, I do not want to hide this information out of shame or guilt for low points in my past; I wear this semi-colon on the side of my head proudly in the hope that sharing it amidst a random conversation may provide hope or solace to someone else who may be in need of some light during a dark spot in life. Resilience does not need to be a selfish solo act; we can and should share and support it lovingly among one another.

If you need help, please reach out to a loved one, a crisis center, or a support line. We are surrounded by caring angels who are ready and able to assist us, but sometimes we have to first be truly transparent and vulnerable about our needs to invoke and invite such aid.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 113024

elasticity (noun) – the state or quality of being capable of returning to original length, shape, etc., after being stretched, deformed, compressed, or expanded; flexibility; resilience; adaptability; ability to resist or overcome depression; buoyancy

Does your mind quickly snap to rubber bands, too? I believe that we can be extremely elastic individuals but only if we consistently and gradually work at it slowly. When we are more elastic, we are more flexible. We can avoid injuries more easily, and we can roll with the proverbial punches that life throws at us more efficiently. Here is a sugjestion:

Pause here for a moment to take stock of your current elastic clocks. Are they wound tight, or are they loose and ready to move in whatever direction is best? Consider your elasticity from a physical standpoint as well as emotional, mental/psychological, and spiritual aspects. I am now envisioning those walls that have many clocks side-by-side due to different cities across multiple time zones. Do you track them all well? Do you ever even look at them to check in well? Can you increase elasticity if you do not recognize it?

How often do we try to be too rigid and tough? How well do we see that work for trees? The most inflexible trees are the ones that break first when trying to sway in high winds and turbulent conditions. The tallest and oldest trees are the ones that can bend to the wind when they need to until resiliently returning to and resuming their original form.

Beauty in grace. Grace in beauty.

Elasticity can be easily underrated in my experience. It can be nice to go fast, but there is also beauty in going slowly. There are times when brute strength can be beneficial, but gentle softness also has its time and place. Shoring up and solidifying our resiliency leads to flexing our fluidity. We can move between various forms and speeds to best meet the need of each situation as it arises. Why do you think Bruce Lee encouraged us to be like water? Water fills whatever place we put it in. Are you filling the places that you are in?

Are you expanding and contracting accordingly? Elasticity encourages and enables best movement for each moment. Do you move in the same way because that is simply your engrained habit? Can you try to change it up a little to expand your elasticity? Personally, I find the variety to be far more exciting and fun. It allows me to sink deeper into each moment, presenting more presence with more active mindfulness in many more steps.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 112824

I am thankful for the respectable resilience of indigenous communities and cultures across the world. Imperialistic colonization caused more problems than solutions in my opinion. As a global society, I think those warmongering ways set us further back instead of aiding in advancements and ascensions. Therefore, I am extremely grateful for the fact that many ancient customs and traditions still do live on today because of the resilience of various suppressed minorities who persevered across time despite powerful pressures.

Reflecting on US history, the infamous Trail of Tears jumps quickly to mind as but only one of many atrocities committed against the original, local inhabitants of these lands.

As you may gather from the guardrails, I deeply treasure my thankfulness for the Toltecs. I am glad that their people, philosophy, and practices have maintained enough resilience to not be rended asunder. How many other groups, though, were far less fortunate? From what I have learned, the scientific and technological advancements of the Mayans were all but wiped out by Spanish invasions of cruel, corrupt, and conceited conquistadors.

As long as you remember what you have seen, then nothing is gone. As long as you remember, it is part of this story we have together.

-Leslie Marmon Silko

Do you know why Tai Chi was created? The authoritative and suppressive government in China had banned or forbidden all martial arts. They did not want their citizens to know how to properly defend themselves. So, what did the wise teachers do? They slowed it all down and still taught their art, right in front of everyone. This smooth and gracefully-flowing practice simply promotes healthy well-being wink wink ;) Nothing to see here…

History is full of people trampling people, and it can feel very frustrating very quickly. Fortunately, with adequate resilience, we can stare down the shameful past and plot a better path for the future. We can dance to a different drum and prove that there is a better way that can stay. If people trample people, then it is up to people to peacefully present polite possibilities, improving potentialities. Resilience restores our will and determination to not give up, to not back down. We can and should be better people. Else, why are we even here?

I do not think the measure of a civilization is how tall its buildings of concrete are, but rather how well its people have learned to relate to their environment and fellow man.

-Sun Bear

A thankful sugjestion for today: let us all work on being beautiful people. That is what I often see best among these resiliently-admirable indigenous populations… true beauty.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 112424

It feels like a very humble act to step away from a frivolous fight, yet it does not seem sensible to ever take the fight out of our own self. We have to be able to keep bouncing back from struggles and adversities; we fight for and with our lives. Human perseverance is often due to resilience. I heard this word too many times last week to keep ignoring it, and I finally realized today that we need it now more than ever because many of us feel so beaten down as of late. We may consider throwing in the proverbial towel, but that is not why we are here. We are here to persevere, and we can rebuild based on resilience.

Run when you can,
walk if you have to,
crawl if you must,
just never give up.

-Dean Karnazes

Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply about what you believe in. And, when you stumble, keep faith. And, when you’re knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can’t or shouldn’t go on.

-Hillary Clinton

The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

-Paulo Coelho

Resilience in its most basic definition is the power or ability to return to original form. Restoring one’s full shape and wholeness. We will get sick, we will deal with suffering, and we will face challenges and setbacks. How will we best bounce back amidst all those trials and tribulations, though? Can we continue to do it with a broken heart?

Some days will be extremely difficult, but, in eventual hindsight, we can look back on those days proudly because we know that we prevailed. We still captained our own ship, and onward it sailed. Resilience rebuilds our lane whenever it may crumble or weaken. We can always start anew. Each passing moment grants us a chance to begin again.

Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

-Jack Kornfield

I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall. I have fallen several times. Each time I just get up and dust myself off and I pray, and I’m able to do better or I’m able to get back to the level that I want to be on.

-Serena Williams

Are you ready to return to your fullest and healthiest self? Do you remember a time when you were whole? I am not sure what that even means for me exactly, but I am excited to find out as I keep putting in the work and trending in that direction. Besides, I like the unknown thrill there. It motivates me to progress in order to discover even more.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 112224

I am truly humbled by the opportunity to keep writing. I would be lying if I do not admit that it is hard at times to keep my nose to the grindstone. I grapple with an expectation of recognition from time to time, but then I remind myself of why I do this in the first place. I want to help; I want to be of service; I want to continue cleaning up my own actions and becoming as beautiful as possible, like a janitor persistently tidying up their environment.

We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept our school clean … and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect.

-Michelle Obama

I am adjusting to fully acknowledging and appreciating my apparent anonymity. After all, despite what society may often try to dictate and convey to us in the opposite way, there is nothing wrong with being little. I recently had the pleasure of observing the mightiest chihuahua I have ever seen; I used to think rather lowly of that dog breed; I am not proud to admit that past failure on my part, but doing so permits me to further learn and grow.

A great [person] is always willing to be little.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Rule #32 – enjoy the little things :)

Enjoy humbling yourself and learning to follow.

It feels foolish to ignore noble guidance.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 112024

Have you ever wondered… about unselfconsciousness? I have but only recently when the term was first introduced to me. I did not realize that such a cool concept existed until encountering it in a brief meditation practice; I am amazed and fascinated by this state of being. It can easily epitomize humility because your self is not even a part of the equation. It has exited this element entirely. What remains is essentially a state of effortless flow. No second-guessing, no hemming and hawing, and no what-ifs or shoulda coulda wouldas. Would that be nice? I certainly think so. Sign me up please! How about you?

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.

-Rick Warren

For me, it strongly highlights the idea of how I can best be of service. How can I focus on becoming the best humble servant to those around me that I can possibly be? What can I do to help versus how will this affect me and make me look? What can I give instead of what will I get? These shifts are subtle yet superb as one settles into sincere serenity.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

-James 3:13 (Bible)

Feel the sparks.

Turn off your mind.

Tune into the flow.

If you know, then you know.

Stay wondrous, y’all :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 111824

Can I BE any sadder? That is how I feel whenever I process the fact that Matthew Perry is no longer with us. It takes a lot of courage and humility to fully and truly admit your struggles and shortcomings to those around you. Now magnify that pressure with the whole world watching. The life of an addict can be very harmful, but it can also be extremely humbling. The comeback story arc proves the potential of any and all humans.

It is no great thing to be humble when you are brought low; but to be humble when you are praised is a great and rare attainment.

-Bernard of Clairvaux

What do you think held him back from asking for help for so long? Pride? Shame? Guilt? A vicious collection or combo of those plus who knows what else? Humility can open the door to healing and wholeness. When we are humble, we can recall all of the similarities that we share with one another. After all, I believe we carry more similar characteristics and details among us than the few differences that we often tend to focus on. Might the words be different from time to time? Yes, but the friendly feelings are still the same.

God is everywhere – you just have to clear your channel, or you’ll miss it.

-Matthew Perry

Humility can help us ask others for help. We do not have to navigate all of life on our own; we thrive best collectively. Most people are not mind-readers, so they often simply support your system for your lane. Some may only help when asked. So, humbly, ask.

Humility, I have learned, must never be confused with meekness. Humility is being open to the ideas of others.

-Simone Sinek

Matthew carried such weight on his shoulders for so long. His struggle showcases how often we look for answers outside, seeking a simple solution beyond ourselves to “make it all better” or “make it go away.” That is not how life works, though. Life humbles us as we learn to put in the challenging and difficult yet very rewarding work of introspection. By correcting and improving our past mistakes and prior errors, we figure out how to be of greater service. As such, I do not believe that seeking another substance is the way.

All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for.

-Jon Kabat-Zinn

We all need a strong support system. It is one of the central perks of humanity. Regardless of how often we meet at the same coffee shop or not, we need Friends.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 111624

self-effacing (adjective) – tending to make oneself, one’s actions, etc, inconspicuous, especially because of humility or timidity; modest

“Humility is an emotion that arises when we recognize our limitations, imperfections, and interdependence with others. It can manifest as a sense of openness, curiosity, or gratitude. Humility can be a powerful emotion, helping us to learn from others, connect with them, and grow as individuals.”

What if we all simply started doing more of the right things because they are the right things for us to be doing? I think that would be nice. We do not need credit or recognition to continue completing our best next steps. We can embrace and enjoy our personal, humble lifestyles because we can rest easier knowing that we are giving each day our all. How humble are you being if you seek a reward as a result of each of your actions? Strengthening your own self-esteem can enable you to become more self-effacing.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 111424

This Thanksday, I want to recognize my thankfulness for all of the truly authentic and real people out there in the world. It is easy for us to get swept away in the latest look or trend that we feel compelled to adhere to. It is frequently comfortable to blend in, but does that make us truly happy? Are we being our best selves, living our best lives? The flip side here to watch out for is being too vocal about your individuality. Be your true self while keeping your head down at the same time. Do your best in your lane while avoiding distracting others. Chase your dreams, and remember to stay humble along the way, too.

When the dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you/
When the work you put in is realized/
Let yourself feel the pride but/
Always stay humble and kind.

-Tim McGraw

Power can and often does corrupt easily and quickly. That is why it is so refreshing to see those famous stars who do not let all of that attention and light go to their heads poorly. People who can remain authentically and unapologetically themselves are increasingly rare in this world. When you discover those unique individuals, I think it is best to be quite thankful for them. I sugjest treasuring their one-of-a-kind persona, helping uplift one another even further. In doing so, you can begin to count more blessings than curses.

With pride, there are many curses. With humility, there come many blessings.

-Ezra Taft Benson

For those that adapt and compromise to fit in, please ask yourself if you are really happy. Can you tap into and feel how your inner child is suffering? What can you change to become more alive and real? Why keep faking artificialities? Be you, and stay humble.

Pride makes us artificial, and humility makes us real.

-Thomas Merton

With the right amount of humility, you can ignore a lot of the outside noise. You can learn to slowly become content with your own best lane. When you pause periodically to get in touch with yourself, you figure out what is best for you. No one else can tell you that. Similarly, do not try to tell others what is best for them. You can humbly offer sugjestions if they welcome them, but the final choices for their lane should always rest with them.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 111024

Once restorative and rejuvenating rest has been established, it becomes far easier to begin to strengthen humility. Pride can sweep in quickly if you are not careful and cautious. Humility often felt like a soft or weak skill to me, but I now realize that it is the opposite, at least for me. Humility is a strong counterweight to our ego. It supports a special steadfastness that surrounds you in safe and serene security. You can feel at peace knowing that you are doing your best. Be proud of your own actions if you are building your lane well and abiding by the guardrails. You do not need to hear the outside encouragement to know you are doing well. Remind your own self that you are doing so well. Many will not see it, but it does not matter. You see it, and that can be enough, y’all.

Humility is perfect quietness of heart… it is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel no resentment when anything is done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me.

-Andrew Murray

To build a balanced bridge in your lane, humility can be an amazing anchor. Some may argue that it is the best first starting point possible. Otherwise, either too much recognition or utter lack of it can prove to be quite destabilizing for a person.

Humility can be one of your greatest assets, allies.

Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues, hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist, there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance.

-Augustine of Hippo

How great can you be? Not for others necessarily, but for your own self, you see?

Can you progress positively, doing the next best thing, for yourself? Whatever else happens, like benefits or rewards, is only a bonus. They are not the main product or purpose; in fact, they could even prove to be distractions. Use discernment to your advantage as you grow your greatness. Alice had her muchness. Do you, too? :)

We come nearest to the great when we are great in humility.

-Rabindranath Tagore

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 110824

Rest. I ain’t giving up on you :)

We need society, and we need solitude also, as we need summer and winter, day and night, exercise and rest.

-Philip Gilbert Hamerton

We cannot always be there for everyone else. Else, when are we here for ourselves? When do we have a chance to check in and see how we are doing? When did you last slow down to inspect the status of your systems? Last week, the tire pressure sensor went off in my car. I was shocked to see the pressure in the mid-twenties for all four tires. Reading the outside wall of the tires, they can support a maximum of 51 PSI. That means my car was still doing its job at halfway. How often are we living our lives only halfway?

Do not shy away from saying no when others constantly ask for more from you. Balance your own pressure out first. You can handle the random bumps and curves in your lane much better when you are nearing optimal energy and peak performance. Might this strategy upset some people? Sure, but we cannot always be there for everyone else.

Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.

-Pythagoras

Consider all the aspects of your life that may need rest as well. For example, physical rest requires a different strategy or approach than emotional rest. Consider crop rotation. If a farmer only plants the same crop in the same field all of the time, then the ground never has a chance to build back and balance out. Instead, it is continuously depleted of the same nutrients and resources. Just like the field, we do better by changing things up, by seeking out the right rest that is best for us in each and every moment. Listen to what your body needs. Respect it in order to reap better fruit. Share with others as you can.

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.

-Ovid

How has this cycle been for you?

Have you begun to schedule downtime to rest?

Can you use this time to balance out your body and better yourself?

Can you back off on the overtime? Treat yo self :)

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 110624

Have you ever wondered… about rectangular breathing? I have. It is one of my favorite breathing techniques. While square breathing has been widely popularized in recent years, I do not enjoy that method as much. The key to rectangular breathing is to make your exhales longer than your inhales. I like to visualize a tall rectangle in front of me, so the shorter, horizontal lines are the inhales, and the longer, vertical lines are the exhales.

Sometimes, the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.

-Etty Hillesum

The benefit to this practice of rectangular breathing is that you help your brain switch systems internally. While riled up due to anxiety, fear, or nervousness as a few examples, your sympathetic system, or fight or flight response, is currently in control. By settling into a pattern of rectangular breathing, you begin to prioritize your parasympathetic nervous system. This system is commonly referred to as rest and digest. You prompt relaxation within your body by extending lengthier exhales compared to briefer inhales.

Our breath is also like a wave, gently rocking us into a deep peace. In this state of rest, our body and mind can release their burdens. A lot of healing happens just by letting go and sinking into this state of total relaxation.

-Thích Nhât Hanh

How amazing is it that we can help our internal systems by consciously practicing a certain type of breathing? I am in awe of this ability, and it has already helped me numerous times; I hope you try it because I know how truly beneficial it can be.

I wonder if you will take it out for a spin… stay wondrous, y’all :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 110424

I mourn for all the workaholics out there. Burnout is a very real deal, and many people suffer from it due to their inability to reliably regulate their rest. What is left when you are nothing but a husk? How productive can you perpetually prove to be without rest?

When we’re burned out, sometimes we simply need to rest.
But other times, instead of just unplugging, we actually need to find a different power source to help us recharge.

-Jay Shetty

You cannot continuously pour from a glass that is already empty. How can you refill it first? Do you work so much to avoid something else? Is it your hope to stay so busy that you do not have to face some fact? Run all you like, but the messy, internal work will still be there, ready and waiting. Harmonize with it when you are ready. Learn from it, and grow through it. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Be careful; rest can be quite powerful.

We have to face the pain we have been running from. In fact, we need to learn to rest in it and let its searing power transform us.

-Charlotte Joko Beck

Maybe you say you are too busy. There is too much to get done, and you do not have the time. We can make plenty of these excuses, or we can carve out the time to prioritize our own well-being in order to be as effective as possible for as long as possible. If you are feeling very stressed or overwhelmed, then that is when rest is critical. Ideally before.

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.

-Sydney J. Harris

Our time sheets will not be checked in the afterlife.

Rest, relax, and avoid some of the business strife.

Burnout can cut through you quicker than a knife.

Countless options are out there; the world is rife.

you are not helping well
if you are doing so to the point
of exhaustion and burnout

love doesn’t mean giving
until you have nothing left

if you are taking it this far,
that’s a sign that self-love is lacking

tend to your own needs
and return to balance

-yung pueblo

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 110224

rejuvenate vs. enervate

rejuvenate (verb) – to restore to youthful vigor, appearance, etc.; to make fresh or new again

enervate (verb) – to deprive of force or strength; to destroy the vigor of; to weaken

We naturally enervate throughout each day. Random issues and stressors pop up as we go about our lives. If we choose to, we can carve out time in our days to reverse that process and rejuvenate our energy levels. No one should be forced to work constantly. Reasonable hours and shifts exist for this reason. We are more than our jobs. Time to rest helps us reflect and remember that fact. Do you choose to consciously rejuvenate daily?

Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitations of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.

-Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Do not constantly enervate 

Plan daily time to rejuvenate

Learn to listen to your body

If you want to avoid bedrotty

That does not feel like rest

More of a depression test

What activity brings you joy?

Plan downtime for that toy

Slow down, pause, and breathe

Peaceful, quiet, gentle ease

In those moments, listen deep

Unlock secrets that you keep

The world whispers all around

Yet too busily we often abound 

Do not constantly enervate

Plan daily time to rejuvenate

Stop saying rest is a luxury or a privilege. It is not – it’s a human right… it gives us the space to embody and live in divinity.

-Tricia Hersey

You should not feel guilty for taking time to rest. It may take some getting used to if it is new for you, but you can show up better in others areas of your life if you prioritize effective, loving self-care. Rest may just be the next best thing awaiting you.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 103124

I am very thankful for all of the mindfulness and meditation practitioners and teachers out there in the world. Like I mentioned recently, I listen to the Calm app a lot. Jay Shetty is one of my favorites, but I still enjoy listening along to the others on occasion as well. They have all taught me so much, and I will continue to learn plenty more from them.

Shift your perspective on boredom. See if you can approach it as an opportunity for your body to rest and your mind to wander to wondrous places.

-Jay Shetty

Accepting guidance from others can be quite helpful. We do not need to constantly chart our own path forward in a lonely bubble. We can relax and rest as we listen to someone else guide us through a mindfulness practice or a meditation exercise. These activities can be especially beneficial if you recently finished something stressful or need to take a break from an intense event. There will always be another mountain in the future waiting to be climbed, so pause and take respite while down in the valleys. Savor the sweetness.

Rest is sweet after strife.

-Owen Meredith

Our minds can do some wonderful things for us. We should respect them in return by giving our brains the aid they need to continue functioning at their best. We take cars in for maintenance. Knives and blades need sharpening, and racquets and bows need to be restrung. The same applies to our mental faculties. Find the balance to the give and take process in order to approach optimal growth. Embrace daily moments to rest and restore.

Straining breaks the bow, and relaxation relieves the mind.

-Syrus

Welcome assistance from people who make it their life’s work to provide us with wise counsel. Ignore their sage advice to your own detriment and deterioration. If you do not look under the hood from time to time, then you are sure to break down. Thankfully, we can all choose to build ourselves up instead. When have you last rested? How recently have you listened to a guided meditation or a mindfulness exercise? Try this example :)

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 102724

Sometimes, to reharmonize internally, we simply need to take a break and enjoy some well-deserved rest. After all, if you do not take care of yourself, then how can you truly expect others to pick up the slack or carry your weight? Can you really help others to the best of your full potential and abilities if you are not resting well? I do not think so.

I still need more healthy rest in order to work at my best. My health is the main capital I have, and I want to administer it intelligently.

-Ernest Hemingway

I find that rest is frequently very underrated; I know how bad I am at budgeting time for it a lot of the time. Given my personality, I feel the need to constantly push myself. To consciously and meaningfully pull back and slow down from time to time is a significant effort and struggle for me. I hope this cycle will help me get better at resting regularly.

The flip side is laziness, and that may be what I fear, prompting my proclivity to push for productivity persistently. Rest can also often be perceived by many as selfish. However, that is not true. None of us are self-subsisting. We all require relaxation and recovery.

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

-John Lubbock

Take some time to slow down this week. Look around and appreciate the natural, harmonious environment that envelops our existence. Walk in the woods. Lay in a field. Smell some flowers. Enjoy the downtime. Recharge with some rejuvenating rest. Investing in yourself today allows you to show up for everyone even better tomorrow.

Sitting is an art.
The art of resting first.
It’s very important that we learn how to rest.

-Thích Nhất Hanh

When I want to rest some each day, I will silently practice some mindfulness and/or meditation. I enjoy using the Calm app in particular when listening along to guided lessons. One of their notifications says that sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do. Welcome some quality sleep. An email from Calm earlier this year pointed out that we are meant to rest before we are exhausted, not after. If you are lucky, then your life is a long journey. No one can remain active constantly. Be wise; rest for a spell.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 102524

How well are you harmonizing with your surroundings? Today yielded insightful reflections for me. I felt my harmonies ebbing and flowing throughout the day. I enjoyed the good parts and reflected on the difficult aspects. Those reflections helped me in recognizing what I can adjust within my perspective to smooth out those difficulties in the future. After all, I do not want to create more dissonances; I choose to harmonize more.

Faith makes the discords of the present the harmonies of the future.

-Robert Collyer

Work smarter, not harder is a common expression. The same should be applied to life in general, too. Live smarter, not harder. As a result, you can begin to relax and rest some, savoring moments of joy. It opens up space for you to harmonize more. Embrace it fully.

Happiness exists on earth, and it is won through prudent exercise of reason, knowledge of the harmony of the universe, and constant practice of generosity.

-José Martí

Whenever we feel down, if we learn to wait long enough, then we can all soak up more sunshine eventually. Learn to harmonize with the environment and people all around you.

Go forth in every direction – for the happiness, the harmony, the welfare of the many. Offer your heart, the seeds of understanding, like a lamp overturned and re-lit, illuminating the darkness.

-Gautama Buddha

Are you illuminating the darkness?

Are you helping or hindering universal harmony?

How can you begin to add more light?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.