Freeday – 070425

It dawned on me this morning. Which do we most commonly start with? When we are young, we spend so much time listening before we can even speak. Why should that pattern ever change? Only once we have learned how to listen well do I then think we can speak well. Well, I believe we can all benefit from less judging and more listening.

When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationships with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together.

-Meg Wheatley

A friend recently reminded me of something from Eckhart Tolle. If you rearrange the letters in the word listen, it also forms the word silent. Have you improved your silence during this cycle? Are you beginning to listen better to everything around you on the outside and on the inside? What is it teaching you, and how is it now guiding you?

The three qualities essential to deep listening: silence, reflection, presence.

-Kay Lindahl

If what I write does not resonate with you, then do not listen to it. Honestly, it hurts to put that here, but I do not want anyone to follow along blindly. I prefer to see everyone listen to their own true wisdom and guidance. Make sure you tune in to and listen to the right voice, though. Our egos can be very loud in our minds, and that is not the voice I am recommending leveraging. Instead, there is a deeper well of knowledge waiting beneath that layer. Can you listen to the purer, quieter, and wiser voice that bubbles up instead?

You are your own greatest teacher. Learn to trust your internal source of wisdom.

-Tamara Levitt

Listening is an incredibly valuable and underrated skill in my opinion. I will continue to improve my practice of it for the rest of my life; I want to observe as much as I can in order to learn as much as I can. I believe we are surrounded by so much beauty, so I choose to slow down enough to observe it all with as many of my senses as possible.

The earth has music for those who listen.

-George Santayana

Are you listening to unique and novel moments in the present, or is your internal radio stuck on the same channel of negative self-talk, worries, fears, and doubts? Change the channel for a bit and see how you feel. What changes can arise in your life as a result?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 070225

Have you ever wondered… about pratyahara? I have. It is the yogic practice of turning inward. Interoception is a related western or scientific word for this idea. Can you shut off your external senses in order to recognize and pay attention to more of your internal senses? How is your heart beating currently? What is the present state of hunger in your stomach or nutrients processing within your intestines? Does a muscle or joint ache and ask for attention? Learning to listen to your body can provide a wealth of information and guidance towards living a better, fuller, and healthier life. Ignore these sensations and subtleties to your own detriment. It can often prove more beneficial to listen inwardly.

Yoga improves the mind-body connection by encouraging you to listen to your body.

-Ann Swanson

A couple weeks ago, during a hatha yoga class, I learned about a fascinating mudra that I had never heard of before, shanmukhi mudra. It involves depriving your awareness of many outward senses. In a safe place, try it out sometime if you are curious. Your thumbs go in your ears, your index and middle fingers go across your eyes, your ring fingers go under your nose, and your pinkies cover your lips. By closing off and shutting out as much external stimuli as you can, you become better able to focus on and listen to your senses within. Considering even the basics, how often do you recognize your breathing pattern?

Listen. Are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?

-Mary Oliver

Our bodies are wonderful creations, and we can learn so much from them if we listen to them. We are bombarded by so many outside influences that try to vie for our attention. Many people think they know what is best for us. While we can and should listen to others when approached mindfully and respectfully, we should also learn to cultivate and trust our own internal knowing, our gut feelings. That inner guide is our best friend.

It takes courage for people to listen to their own goodness and act on it.

-Pablo Casals

Intuition is a powerful and incredibly useful skill to craft and hone. In my experience, it takes a lot of practice. Quieting the outside world and the mental swirl is not an easy task, but discovering and engaging with the world beneath that layer is well worth the effort. Turning inward has shown me a much clearer path forward. Now, I can listen better to everything around me, both inside and out, as a result of such work. It starts, though, with knowing well what is best for me. Others may not agree. So it may be.

No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise [person] can decide
What’s right for you – just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.

-Shel Silverstein

I doubt our actions will ever make everyone happy, but we can and should still listen to and be friendly with everyone who we cross paths with. Sometimes, outside guidance and advice appears at the ideal and optimal time. You can feel how it aligns with what you are listening to, both internally and externally. Those harmonious moments are key indicators that you are doing your best and progressing on your ideal path. Whenever you discover that you may have temporarily trusted the wrong voice, keep an open mind to quickly correct your charted course. You can always adjust your attitude and actions.

I’ve trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life. And the only time I’ve made mistakes is when I didn’t listen.

-Oprah Winfrey

Listen to your inner voice. It takes effort and practice. Why else do you think pratyahara exists as one of the main limbs of yoga? Yogis devote large portions of their lives to turning inward and listening to all that awaits within. We can do the same if we choose. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Do not listen to me, though. Listen to your inner knowing.

Does it agree?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :) <3

Mournday – 063025

I mourn for all the people who have tuned out their partners and loved ones. Why do you no longer listen? Why have you voluntarily chosen to exist on an island all alone? We all want to feel seen and heard, and we all deserve to be seen and heard. Therefore, we should all see and hear everyone around us. It can be hard sometimes, but it is worth it. Tune back in. Listen with curiosity. Choose a new reply. React less, and respond more.

Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.

-James 1:19 (Bible)

If someone gets exasperated because you are not listening, do you really think it is wise to become exasperated in return? No, it is a bad habit that we should recognize and resist. We feel the uncomfortable and combative tug of our shadow because they are correct. Guilt or shame is stepping in and steering briefly because they have a point. If we are not listening, then we should stop and listen. It sounds so simple and easy, yet how many of us struggle with this step routinely? Do not underestimate its sneaky subtlety. 

Don’t underestimate the power of mindful listening. It’s the key to constructive communication.

-Jay Shetty

Show your love by listening well. Feel their love by how well they listen. If they are tuned out, then gently ask for the same respectful behavior to be reciprocated if you are already doing your best for them. We can and should all be held accountable for effective and active listening. A polite nudge or reminder from time to time will help us hone this habit.

When you listen well to what your partner is saying, you are actually saying that you care.

-Theresa Miller

There is so much for us to listen to and learn from. I know all too well how easy it is to get stuck in one’s own head. I continue to slowly learn over time, though, how much more rewarding it is to engage more with my environment, to actively immerse myself in and listen to my surroundings. Even yesterday, brief and random lyrics from a car’s speakers driving by brought a wide grin to my face. Hearing different squeaks and chirps of critters made me happy. By investing active effort in turning down the volume of my thoughts in order to better tune in to everything around me, I feel immense gratitude and excitement.

I’ve learned about the poetry and the wisdom and the grace that can be found in the words of people all around us when we simply take the time to listen.

-Dave Isay

It does not take much to fulfill our basic needs. Do we need more stuff, or do we simply want to connect with one another? Do you want your words to be truly appreciated and felt, or do you enjoy talking to blank stares and glazed eyes? Stop talking if there is a phone screen in between. Leave devices behind if you want to be fully present for a conversation with a friend or loved one. Make a concerted effort to connect and listen.

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen.

-Rachel Naomi Remen

When we connect with other humans, we feel support and encouragement that enables us to feel empowered and equipped to tackle anything that life may throw at us. If others give you time and attention by listening well, then it is only balanced and fair to give the same in exchange. If we all tune in more and listen better, then the amount of healing we can share and spread will be significant and life-changing, unlike anything we often see.

With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing.

-Catherine Doherty

It does not take much. Determined focus. Active presence. Mindful commitment. Be here and now. What do you hear now? What can you tune in to and respond to authentically, compassionately, graciously, honestly, insightfully, lovingly, meaningfully, and sincerely?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 062825

Read between the lines.

Clue in on subtle signs.

Do you stop at surface level?

Can you start to see a bevel?

Do you only listen to respond?

What if you can coax beyond?

What happens when you delve deep?

Listening to understand, a secret to keep.

Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person.

-Thích Nhất Hanh

Trading two chats back and forth.

One goes south, the other north.

If you fully engage and connect,

then flowing beauty can intersect.

Share the moments; enjoy every word.

Make the other person feel truly heard.

Start to find and share friendly jokes.

See what authenticity they will evoke.

If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

-Robert Orben

Listening is sadly a rare and lost art.

It takes slowing down, tuning in to your heart.

Do you really want to be a tried and true friend?

Then see your conversations through to the end.

Do not check out or get lost in your thoughts.

Avoid those mental ifs, wishes, and oughts.

You can be clever and present all at once.

Embrace each moment, unlike some dunce.

If you want to be a clever person, you have to learn how to ask cleverly, how to listen attentively, how to respond quietly, and how to stop talking when there is nothing more to say.

-Leo Tolstoy

Two souls can sit side by side

and feel no need at all to chide.

Share a moment in peace and quiet.

No need to stir up another riot.

Not every moment needs more speech.

Accept nature’s aid and what it may preach.

When you still your mind and sit in silence,

more insights may rise, offering guidance.

Listen to silence.
It has so much to say.

-Rumi

How well do you use all of your senses?

Can you listen better with fewer pretenses?

How well do you expect to grow and improve

if you continue to control each and every move?

Sometimes it is best to sit back and wait.

Listen for what may appear at the gate.

It is never ideal to rush ahead deafly.

Best to glide along def-def-deftly.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 062625

I am thankful for great therapists, both licensed professionals and unofficial stand-ins. You could even be your own therapist at times if you can step back and objectively assess your situation from a neutral standpoint. It is not easy, but it can be a useful and valuable skill to hone since therapists and friends will not always be available for our every beck and call. A great therapist shows up with and provides proven listening skills, and they help get to the roots of problems. They may not always share the answers directly with you. However, their keen listening and gradual guidance can lead each of us to our own self-discovery and self-improvement over time. They help us tune in to our own feelings.

Listen to your emotions as they link your inner self with your mind.

-Dr. Sue Morter

Therapists help you better process and understand your emotions. First, are you feeling a primary emotion or a secondary emotion? I often initially think of my anger as primary only to find out later that it is secondary to fear. Therapists can prove very helpful here.

I can feel heavy and down after therapy because I spend so much time unpacking issues and problems. As time goes on, though, I eventually feel even better than before because I have let go of more of the past and built back the present even stronger. What felt like a lashing was more of a lesson. I feel lighter and more uplifted about potential futures now.

Failure is a greater teacher than success. Listen, learn, go on.

-Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Excellent therapists listen well. When they do speak, do you then listen well? We can learn from additional ideas and perspectives, and we can welcome differences of opinion and understanding. There is no one-size-fits-all answer or way to seeing the world or living life. Sure, there are guardrails that I believe we should all adhere to, but each lane can and should be wholly individualized. How else can we discover new information if we do not learn to listen well to everything all around us? Use your ears more effectively.

Listen. Just listen. You don’t have to agree. Just see if you can understand that there’s another person who has a completely different experience of the same reality.

-Esther Perel

Make sure you listen to your own feelings, too, without outside assistance. What if you do not feel like your current therapist is the best fit for you? Consider discussing it with them. It can be awkward, but it can also introduce positive change. Perhaps they can adjust in some way to better accommodate your preferences, or maybe they know of another therapist who will be an even better match for you. Listen, learn, and lead on.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 062225

How well do you listen? Why do you listen? How do you listen?

Can you pause and listen to your own answers? Do you have good reasons and explanations? To start with a classic adage from one of the Stoics, think about the proportions that we have been given: two ears and one mouth. How do you do with those ratios? Are you frequently listening twice as much as you are speaking? :)

We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.

-Zeno of Citium

Do you know everything? Will any of us ever know everything? Do we need to ever know everything? How can you continue to learn more if you do not listen? Recognizing this fact and honing your listening skills allows you to learn more and therefore improve more. With any newfound freedom, I highly sugjest pursuing such worthy endeavors.

The wise [person] listens to meaning; the fool only gets the noise.

-Musonius Rufus

I love listening. To nature; to music; to random conversations as I pass by strangers. Any and all of these opportunities can teach me so much, assuming I am curious and open minded in those moments. If I waste my time judging someone or something, then I miss out on opportunities to listen effectively. I fall short in any moment where I spend too much time in my own head instead of connecting more, tuning into my surroundings or listening to my own body. There are many things all around us that we can listen to and learn from if we start to silence our own speaking, externally or an internal monologue.

You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say.

-Paulo Coelho

I hope you will begin to notice more what your speaking to listening ratio is like on a daily basis. Slow down, quiet yourself, and listen to the roses. Close your eyes and hear what bubbles up from your inner child or intuition. Seize as many learning moments in each day as you possibly can. How else will we all continue to improve and unite in harmony?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 060625

I will ask again – how free are you? Has this cycle helped highlight where you may be trapped currently? Can you begin to make moves in order to reclaim and reestablish your personal freedom? Similarly, are you impeding upon the personal freedom of others?

The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate.

-bell hooks

How can you improve to ensure we all enjoy the same sovereign independence? None of us are truly free until all of us are fully free. Personally, I am tired of my self-imposed burdens that are weighing down on me. I know how much better I act, feel, and think whenever I am unlimited and unrestrained from struggles and suffering. I believe we are all capable of reaching a state of serene peace and love that encompasses all of us.

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.

-Mahatma Gandhi

My own word has limited and restricted my own freedom in the past. I have a bad habit of taking myself way too seriously, so I am slowly learning to relax and be gentler and calmer with myself. As a result of this self-improvement, I am finally going to update the writing pattern or calendar structure of cycles for WiseDumbTime. I felt beholden to the original scheme, but how rigid and inflexible was I being? How much of my own freedom had I sacrificed in order to adhere to some past dictate? No more. Freely and clearly, I choose to write a cycle before resting a cycle every fortnight for the foreseeable future.

Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.

-Paulo Coelho

I feel a strong urge to better balance my life and embrace my freedom fully. I do not want to feel like I must be constantly productive; I am already enough, even when resting and recovering. This milestone is momentous for me as I learn how to improve my flexibility and adjust my personal expectations accordingly. With this newfound freedom, I have a number of exciting plans to ponder upon and pursue. I am not simply doing less, but I am doing more of what I feel is most important for me at this time. Is it wise? I hope so. It feels like it is, but perhaps it is dumb. The beauty of my freedom is that I can always switch back to writing every fortnight if and when that feels like my best next step.

Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.

-Albert Camus

That is also the beauty of freedom for each and every one of us. What feels like your best next step? A simple sugjestion from me to you: stop, turn inward, and listen. What is your best next step to live freer and fuller? Have you ignored your inner voice for long enough? Let it break free and lead you towards harmony.

I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom.

-Simone de Beauvoir

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.

-Albert Einstein

I pray wholeheartedly for limitless, full freedom for each and every one of us.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 060425

Have you ever wondered… about dishabituation? I have. We often accumulate a variety of habits with little to no thought, or we worked on them so long ago that we forgot about a time before they seemed to be an essential and integral part of our lives. What if we want to rework or unwork something that no longer works well? Well, that is where dishabituation comes into play. By retraining our mind and body to once again engage with our surroundings in a way that makes everything feel fresh and new, we can break free from the monotonous humdrum. We can renew and reinvigorate what all we repeatedly review. Which sounds better – blindly trudging along or seeing all colors?

Education is the key that unlocks the golden door to freedom.

-George Washington Carver

Think about it – how free are you when you act out of habitual impulses? Are you free without being mindful? I doubt it. We often give up our own freedom when we go on auto-pilot, simply going through the rote routine. Why are you willingly wasting precious moments with more of the mindless same and mundane? What if you focus on finite details and fine-tune your perceptions to appreciate unique aspects of each and every object? What differences can you begin to see within a cup of coffee or tea? How can you find beauty in a well-made bed? Why does the laundry have to feel like a chore?

Mindfulness gives you time. Time gives you choices. Choices, skillfully made, lead to freedom.

-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

Shift your mindset to find the beauty in all that you do. Set your mind free by controlling your own honed focus and perceptive attention. As Heraclitus pointed out centuries ago, no person ever enters the same river twice because neither the person nor the river are the same. Is your commute to work ever the exact same? Why do we treat it as such then? Is each Monday the same? We can dishabituate. We can delve deeper into a pristinely peaceful and personal freedom. Are you ready to free dive towards it?

[People] are not free when they are doing just what they like. [People] are only free when they are doing what the deepest self likes. And there is getting down to the deepest self! It takes some diving.

-D.H. Lawrence

We can easily rush through all of our greatest moments if we do not slow down and fully appreciate them as they unfold. Conversely, we can make challenges and struggles last a lifetime if we do not accept the current state of things. How habituated are you to your current thoughts and actions? How can you begin to reclaim a dishabituated freedom?

Freedom is something that dies unless it’s used.

-Hunter S. Thompson

I strongly sugjest finding and using your freedom. Do not let it die.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :) <3

Mournday – 060225

I mourn for all the captive victims. It upsets me deeply whenever I recognize that my own mind has once again been trapping me in an unproductive and harmful negative loop. I used to stew in these states for far too long, but now I acknowledge the observation, learn the lesson, and move forward. Contaminated and recurring thoughts can ensnare us in a swirling swamp of stagnant staleness. When we cannot move well, physically, mentally, or emotionally, how can we expect to exercise any freedom? How limited are we when we trudge along looking for some answer or external help beyond ourselves?

Stop. Stop everything. Then you will realize you are the freedom you have been searching for.

-Papaji

What is holding you captive – a job? Look for other options. Own the pursuit of your freedom. What else – family issues? How can you improve to foster an evolution in dynamics? If you cannot create worthwhile wisdom on your own, then seek out therapy. We can accept help from others to find our path towards freedom, but we still have to move ourselves in these liberating directions. Anything additional – your past? How much are you rewarded for repeatedly replaying a previous point? What can you focus on right here and now to free yourself from anything other than the here and now? If you are not learning from your reflections or forecasts in either direction, then I question your current level of freedom. Are you controlling your life, lane, and body, or are you being captive?

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

-Nelson Mandela

Shift and substitute captivity for captivation. Find your freedom, then use it wisely. Choose for yourself. If you go along with others, then you are choosing to subdue your own voice. I do not believe that is how we should exist here. Our spirits should not be silenced, and we should also not silence any others. Coexisting freedom is one of my favorite dreams to continually strive towards. A cooperative effort cultivates the best character in each of us while a competitive countenance causes bitterness and hatred.

Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

By this period in human development and societal progression, we have no need for anyone to be born into captivity. The sovereign rights of each and every individual should be established and preserved. Power struggles and control games do not fuel freedom or fairness. When we all begin to feel safe and secure, we will thrive even better. Complete freedom across the board is a golden ideal that we should feel no need to conceal. When we peel back all the layers of trauma and conditioning, then we can begin to freely heal.

We all need freedom and security, which is why when the world doesn’t feel safe, we often don’t feel as free.

-Esther Perel

Set yourself free, as best as you can. Confidently own your choices to control your inner space. No one else can take that away; we have the final say on how our soul will sway.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 053125

disentanglement vs. engulfment

disentanglement (noun) – the act of separating or freeing something from a tangled or confused state

engulfment (noun) – the state of being surrounded or submerged in something that can feel crushing or overwhelming

What is your current state of involvement? How wrapped up in your own thoughts and feelings are you? Can you do what you want, or do you feel a need to ask someone else for permission first? As you ponder these possibilities, perhaps you can better perceive your present level of personal freedom. Are you living in a state of engulfment, or have you put in the work to establish your independent freedom and disentanglement?

Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.

-Virginia Woolf

Many want to enforce control

Yet I simply want to flow and roll

Along with the waves of all of life

Enjoying the good, learning through strife.

Are you asking for a fee from under a bridge?

Do you hoard cold emotions like a cowardly fridge?

Freedom allows you to do what is best.

Maybe help others. Perhaps take a rest.

Everything can be taken from a [person] but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

-Victor E. Frankl

Are you choosing for yourself, free and clear?

Or are you allowing others to direct and steer?

Could it even be fear calling the shots?

Acting small will not untangle knots.

Is it quieter? Is it safer? Yes, perhaps.

The best things will not be dropped in our laps.

We should put in the work and look within.

Free yourself slowly; grant yourself this win.

I will go on adventuring, changing, opening my mind and my eyes, refusing to be stamped and stereotyped. The thing is to free one’s self: to let it find its dimensions, not be impeded.

-Virginia Woolf

We can all be free, controlling our lanes.

Master your emotions; love your brains.

Freedom will reveal deep, serene peace. 

We can own it forever; no need to lease.

You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless [they have their] freedom.

-Malcolm X

Make up your mind that happiness depends on being free, and freedom depends on being courageous.

-Pericles

Courageously proceed towards freedom by disentangling yourself from engulfments.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 052925

I am thankful for the Stoics (like Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca). They sought and explored the dreams and ideals of personal freedom in great detail. Many think of them as boring and emotionless people incapable of expressing themselves well. However, that concept is quite false. Stoics do not ignore or suppress their emotions. They minimize their instant reactions to them. Emotional freedom is one of the greatest gifts we can discover and hone during this lifetime. To be able to see and feel your emotions while still steering your own ship. Not giving up the wheel and your current course’s heading to anger or sadness. Stoics strive to maintain constant self-control.

Freedom is the only worthy goal in life.
It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.

-Epictetus

Freedom is a hard-fought battle that we struggle with daily. It can be easy to let our ego or emotions step in if we are not careful. When we begin to rush through the motions, how mindful are we? How free are our thoughts in those moments? Are we being held captive by past ruminations or future worries? The key here is to become aware of these occurrences. If you start to notice these distractions and hiccups in presence, then you can begin to identify root causes to improve upon in order to reduce and eliminate repetitive restrictions from reappearing. I strongly sugjest embarking upon the slow and subtle task of becoming your ship’s sole captain. Stand free independently. Master each moment.

No [person] is free who is not master of [themself].

-Epictetus

Why are lanes and guardrails so important? We can contain and define our personal playground and our singular sandbox. Then, we can find our freedom in the free play. Find your way. Steer your ship. If others bump up against you, will you get upset? You still have that choice yourself. Are your emotions choosing your reactions, or are you guiding your own actions and goals? The wind does not matter to a ship at sea if it has no end destination charted. Do you have a plan? Mindlessly putter, or purposefully decide.

Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.

-Stephen Covey

One story that I love deals with an empty boat. While someone is sleeping on their ship, they are suddenly awakened and disturbed by a boat bumping into theirs, disrupting their rest. Instantly enraged, this person begins to scream and shout, hurling insults at the other vessel. However, as the view clears, the other boat is empty. It is simply floating along with the waves and the current of the sea. Was the instant reaction needed? No. Yet how often do we slip into such behavior? This lesson is what the Stoics try to teach us. Effective emotional self-control can preserve and enlarge our personal freedom.

The end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom.

-John Locke

Feel your emotions. Do not ignore them or stuff them down, but do not let them steer your ship. Mindfully guide your own way throughout your days according to what you feel is best to do and say, okay? Live your life free and virtuously as the Stoics wished.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 052525

I sugjest strongly considering the following – how free are you? Are you a slave to your attachments, aversions, desires, or emotions? Do you struggle with codependency with others? How many addictions might you be battling? Step back and recognize any and all of these current situations first. Do not beat yourself up for any of them either, but plan next steps for what you will do about them now that you see them. Do not turn a no-longer-blind eye away. Use your freedom to live life your way. There are not many rules we should follow regularly. Why do you think the guardrails have not expanded in over a year now? Do no harm to yourself and others. Beyond that, live life as you see fit. We each have so much freedom to exercise if we but only choose to see and act upon it. I exercised my freedom to take the last two weeks off. It felt refreshing and rejuvenating.

Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.

-Thích Nhất Hanh

We understand very clearly that to be a person with high morals is to be a person with a liberated soul.
Those who are disappointed or concerned or afraid, or who are involved in passions, cannot free their souls.

-Confucius

Control is one of the saddest things I can think of. Why do we feel such a strong pull or almost a seeming need to control things? It provides us with a false sense of security; it helps us feel safe amidst all of the supposed chaos. Freedom does not require control. The best and freest movements in life happen in flow states. Openly surrendering, we give up control and freely flow in the moment. No ego at play. No posturing present. A light and free soul simply doing what it knows is best. That is quintessential freedom.

The initial joy on becoming free is better than being a king;
it is more beautiful than going to heaven;
it is more important than commanding whole worlds.

-Buddhist Wisdom

Many of us think we are free right now. I think a number of us are sadly deluded, though. A false sense of freedom within a systematic construct is still captivity. If you think you have to follow certain rules only to avoid punishment, then are you acting freely? You should already know within yourself what is right and wrong. You should still behave positively and upliftingly towards yourself and others because it is the best action for you to freely and willingly do. If you only act and behave according to societal influences, then just how free are you? How deeply are you truly exploring your full potential?

May we think of freedom, not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right.

-Peter Marshall

I write and actively work on my self-improvement because I want to find ways to be my best self. I want to expand and improve as deeply and fully as I can during this lifetime; I want to be as free as I can. These goals are not selfish or egotistical because I am a better being when I live life according to these natural, universal laws. I freely choose to respect myself and others, I freely share more love with myself and others, and I freely find ways daily to help myself and others. What are you doing with your freedom? Are you freely sharing it in such a way that it multiplies and proliferates among all you cross lanes with?

Everyone has a right to peaceful coexistence, the basic personal freedoms, the alleviation of suffering, and the opportunity to lead a productive life.

-Jimmy Carter

Freedom works best when shared among all. We should all strive to lift everyone up; we will all be better off knowing we can all win. There do not need to be any losers here. True, everlasting freedom is not a zero sum game; it is a cooperative effort for our souls.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 050925

Are you mindful with your generosity? How else do you know when and how to find the right balance with it? If you are not mindful of your generous acts, then I think it is too easy to check out on facts. Generosity should be directed where it is needed most. Sometimes that means taking care of yourself first and foremost. Then, at other times, you can take care of others. Avoid mindlessly wandering down the path of destruction.

Tell the rich of the midnight sighing of the poor, lest heedlessness lead them into the path of destruction, and deprive them of the Tree of Wealth. To give and to be generous are attributes of Mine; well is it with them that adorn themself with My virtues.

-Bahá’u’lláh

Happiness is not always easily won. Sometimes it takes a lot of practice and effort to protect our well-being and our potential joy. It is worth it, though. The generosity of others will help carry us through tough times, and those moments can also serve as helpful reminders of why we should freely pay it back whenever and wherever we can. That is how we can all begin to spread happiness across earth. It is a very worthy pursuit.

Happiness exists on earth, and it is won through prudent exercise of reason, knowledge of the harmony of the universe, and constant practice of generosity.

-José Martí

I am going to be generous with myself by taking the next two weeks off because I need to mindfully balance my time, too. I look forward to returning with a new cycle after a fortnight (plus the two days between now and then of course). I need to rest and reset.

In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

Consider how generous you are with your voice. Do you use it sincerely? Are you mindful of your words? Can you use your voice with generosity towards yourself and all others?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 050725

Have you ever wondered… about giving others the benefit of the doubt? I have. How sure are you that you are 100% right? Are you making any assumptions that could later be proven false? As a friendly reminder of the third guardrail, we should avoid assumptions. Maintain an open mind. Channel a constant curiosity. What if you are wrong with your current thought? What if they are trying their best and did not intend anything negative by how they acted or spoke? This is where the benefit of the doubt can begin to be very beneficial for us and our well-being. By extending generous assumptions (if we are going to assume at all), we can avoid fixing our minds on only one (often negative) outcome.

When someone is interpreting your behavior or actions without a spirit of openness, deescalate the conflict by saying, ‘I would appreciate it if you could be more generous with me.’ It really works and leads to conversation, not argument.

-Kate Fessler

This realization dawned on me recently when doing some inner work. Now, if I am going to have a negative thought about someone or something, then I am going to also work on always balancing it back out with a positive thought. If I am choosing to judge anything at all, then I am going to do so from multiple angles. I do not know the full story of anyone or anything beyond me, so it is only generous and fair to consider multiple possibilities.

Generosity consists not in the sum given, but in the manner in which it is bestowed.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Looking inward, how good are you at giving yourself the benefit of the doubt? Are you generous with your self-talk? Can you be kinder with your own narrative? I know how harsh and critical I can be with my self-judgments, so I am getting better at generously giving myself the benefit of the doubt more. After all, I know how hard I am working at being the best me that I can be, and I know how fully I am maximizing many of my days. As a result of this recognition, I can start easing off on some of the negativity that I had a bad habit of directing towards myself. As an adjustment, I can feel proud and positive of my gradual improvements while avoiding toxic pride that could corrupt the experience.

Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.

-Khalil Gibran

Give yourself the benefit of the doubt when you need to course correct your mindset. In addition, give others the benefit of the doubt more whenever you need to generously consider intent. We do not know it all. We will not know it all. Therefore, be generous.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all.

Mournday – 050525

I mourn for all the hoarders out there. What are you holding on to too much of – wealth, resources, knowledge? Why do you feel the need to keep so much of it if it can be more freely shared with others? Have you ever considered how freeing it can feel to share your bounties with beings? How fulfilled are you being a Scrooge? Do you possess true happiness? Some of my greatest moments are being of service to another. When I generously donate my own time, money, and/or energy in a selfless way, it amazes me how much it pays me back with invaluable intangibles. The overflowing fullness of my heart and the contented satisfaction of my soul are worth those amounts. I do not find myself later missing what I was able to generously give to others. Instead, I am able to reflect with joyful gratitude on how well-received my acts of kindness are accepted.

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.

-Albert Camus

Hoarding often comes from a place of fear, warding off some future lack by piling up potential now. If you got it once, you can get it again, right? Do not get me wrong, saving up a nest egg is smart and sensible. Planning an emergency fund is effective and recommended. However, do you need to plan out all of your time for your own activities? Can you volunteer in your community as an act of generosity? Collecting too much without distributing it or paying it forward will not matter much in the end. Will you take any of those accumulations with you? I do not think so. I think the generous acts will follow us. True generosity is what matters, though. There is a difference. You may fool other humans, but you will not fool the accounting that awaits. Give freely and give often so you do not even hoard a counter of these acts. Simply rest easy knowing that you are doing your best for yourself and for others. Find a balance that generously benefits all.

It is every [person’s] obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what [they] take out of it.

-Albert Einstein

Hoarding can also come from a place of craving. If you think you should have it all, then you are going to struggle with being generous. However, if you can learn to accept being fine with a fair allotment, then you can share a lot fairly with others. After all, when does yet more craving ever give back to your holistic well-being? Doing well by other beings will certainly give back. Perhaps not in ways you may think, expect, or be accustomed to, but I find the mystery there to be both alluring and exciting. I no longer crave full control of my life because I like inviting curiosity. The outcome is not what drives my generosity.

Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.

-Frank A. Clark

Plant the trees whose shade you will never sit under. Do not maintain a status quo. Do we really need to force others to suffer in the same way that we have in the past? I do not want to pay the same pains forward; I want to even and smooth out the playing field. I yearn to be generous and kind with as many of my actions as possible. Sometimes I will need to direct that yearning inward to practice proper self-care. Then, when operating optimally myself, I can direct it outward to do nice things regardless of any recognition.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 050325

munificent vs. maleficent

munificent (adjective) – extremely liberal in giving; very generous; characterized by great generosity

maleficent (adjective) – doing evil or harm; harmfully malicious

Are any of us immune to generosity?

Perhaps only victims of precocity.

I think those who are generous

should abound around as plenteous.

We can all give back and do more.

Behold what humanity has in store.

Give to others, and also give to yourself.

Please leave some for you on any shelf.

Repeating a bit, we have no need to hoard.

Volunteer and help others if you are bored.

You can give others energy, money, and time.

Your actions should uplift, regardless of rhyme.

Your intent or reason is what matters in the end.

Why do you do good for this or that friend?

Are you simply being generous to be kind,

or does a hidden agenda lie behind?

Do you give to others freely and clearly?

Can you bless strangers and treat them dearly?

Will you move through life being munificent,

or are you hell-bent on being maleficent?

Common sense should make the ideal obvious.

Please use your senses; do not be oblivious.

The scales collect. The ledgers are noted.

Which side of your account will be bloated?

Will you do what is right because it is right,

or will you resist tooth and nail, putting up a fight?

Maintain your focus, and stick to your lane.

Control your choices; generously share your brain.

Leave this place much better than you found it.

Generosity will help us get through and around it.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 050125

I am thankful for Gabor Maté. He generously shares his history and knowledge with us. As a teacher-turned-doctor, we can learn a lot from his examples and studies. In addition, his childhood was riddled with traumas and upheavals that molded and shaped the man he is today. Gabor’s generosity highlights true, authentic honesty. Insights instruct us informatively to investigate interests inquisitively, introducing ideas for improvement.

Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last.

-Samuel Johnson

Dr. Maté is very generous and openminded with his areas of exploration. He researches addictions, attentions, and traumas in detail; he looks for the best treatment options that can help the most people in the most effective ways. Gabor has explored and supported some interesting modalities such as a legal safe site supervising drug injections as well as ayahuasca ceremonies to help heal addicts. By generously pushing for cutting-edge and revolutionary approaches, more change may be possible. After all, more of the same is only going to prolong the same problems that seem to simmer and persist perpetually.

"The difference between passion and addiction is that between a divine spark and a flame that incinerates. Passion is divine fire: it enlivens and makes holy; it gives light and yields inspiration. Passion is generous because it's not ego-driven; addiction is self-centered. Passion gives and enriches; addiction is a thief. Passion is a source of truth and enlightenment; addictive behaviors lead you into darkness. You're more alive when you are passionate, and you triumph whether or not you attain your goal. But an addiction requires a specific outcome that feeds the ego; without that outcome, the ego feels empty and deprived."

-Gabor Maté

Helping others can help yourself. It is an indirect fringe benefit to appreciate in hindsight. I read something from Tolstoy recently that talked about humans being able to always serve their divine purpose, regardless of whether they are healthy or sick. If you choose to help others, being generous with your time and energy, then you can indirectly learn lessons to apply to your own life and lane along the way. Simply by being there more for friends and even strangers, you can obtain nuggets of wisdom to apply to your daily activities. It also helps you be of further benefit by increasing your future potential with additional generosity if you choose to share your new insights with people as needed. Showing up and generously doing your best for you and others can feel very powerful.

It is a powerful practice to be generous when you are the one feeling in need.

-Allan Lokos
"You think it's easier to help the clients than it is to help yourself, but over time you gradually benefit in an indirect way. By helping other people, you spot the mistakes that they keep making and the traps that they fall into and you start to kind of realize that you're probably doing the same thing. They function, to some extent, as a mirror for your own problems over time."

-Donald J. Robertson

How generous are you with your life? Can you share your lessons more freely with others in order to help everyone benefit and improve more? Hoarding your information and belongings will not help many over the long run. Can you build atop the nice generosity of others to pay more forward? We can all be happier if we all begin to share more.

Happiness is not made by what we own. It is what we share.

-Jonathan Sacks

Dr. Gabor Maté generously shares his life with all of us, serving up lessons that can lead us towards an ideal approach to adversities. Generosity can appear contentious at times because the bigger picture may not always be apparent to us immediately. Regardless, we can accept help, continuing to do our best; generously trust in the unfolding process.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 042725

Kindness paves a progressive path towards generosity. Adopting and augmenting a generous spirit is one way to give back to a world that gives us so much. We all continue to have days to spend here. How are we filling that time? Are we being generous with ourselves and with others? Personally, I know I have plenty of work to do here as far as being more generous with myself and with many others. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

As we enjoy great advantages from the inventions of others, we should be glad of an opportunity to serve others by any invention of ours; and this we should do freely and generously.

-Benjamin Franklin

Can you reinvent your interactions? With more kindness embedded in our daily activities, are we able to help others freely and generously? We should simply help others because it is the best thing for us to do. There does not need to be an ulterior motive or some self-serving motivation in order for us to be kind to and beneficial for others. Generosity is giving without any expectations. Sometimes, those in need simply need to be seen. Many people yearn for a bit of attention, and that is something we can easily and willingly offer. Defend your time to not be abused; share your spare time to help others generously, too.

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.

-Simone Weil

Especially in this day and age when so much all around us competes for our attention, simply showing up for a friend, or even a stranger, can provide value beyond anything physical or material. You may offer wisdom, or you may simply present a safe and silent space where they are able to process and proceed with their own healing thanks to your presence. Talking through an issue and feeling heard can do wonders for the soul, aiding in real recovery and rejuvenation for resounding, resolute restoration. In the end, you may never truly know just how much your rapt attention can refine or reform someone forever.

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways, it can change someone else’s life forever.

-Margaret Cho

How generous are you with yourself and others? Do you find balance there? Are you giving in equal and proportionate amounts to what you get? Can you kindly assist in moments of need that you see arise around you? Are your eyes aware of what is around you? That is a good starting point. Be generous, reclaiming and controlling your attention.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 042525

I felt such warmth and joy as I began this cycle because it delighted me immensely to discover how many different quotes about kindness I already had. Many virtues are typically covered well across the ages, but the amount for kindness caught me by surprise. I was not prepared for such focus on something that I often see as simple and possibly trivial. It shows how wrong I was. While it takes little to no effort, kindness can unfortunately still be easily sacrificed, due to unawareness, self-absorption, states of panic and hurry, or many other obstacles that obfuscate our objective outlook. Kindness can and should be our prioritized starting point when engaging with anything. We should approach ourselves with kindness, and we should approach all others with kindness. It does not matter how others choose to act or respond. We can still choose kindness each and every time. It can be planned; it can be random. Start somewhere; try something.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.

-Oscar Wilde

I am so proud of something I did this morning. It may seem indirectly simple or small, but the shift feels very significant to me. While making my morning tea, a coworker greeted me. I started some standard pleasantries with her. As the conversation shifted to some nervous excitement for something that she was looking forward to next week, my initial reaction was going to be expressing my discontent or lack of excitement for next week’s event. Then, in a flash, something inside made me question why I would willingly bring the mood down. Instead of introducing my own rain cloud into the conversation, I replied honestly with the following response: “I appreciate your excitement for next week.” It let me start to feel another perspective. My words were kinder than my habituated default, and it shows how little moments add up. I can carry this momentum forward into more conversations as I make additional, subtle yet effective, microadjustments to my speech.

Small kindnesses make you a bigger person.

-Terri Guillemets

Kindness can be showcased in many ways, shapes, and forms. I believe strongly that our words should exhibit kindness, that our demeanor should exude kindness, and that our actions should exemplify kindness. During this cycle, I have found so much value in my frequent self-check-ins. Am I being too serious with myself right now? How lost in intense thought was I just then? Can I take a step back and be kinder and more present in more of these many moments? It is refreshing and liberating to kindle more kindness.

How do we change the world? One random act of kindness at a time.

-Morgan Freeman

A common expression that people talk about is “random acts of kindness”. I learned recently that it even exists as an acronym, RAK, so people may call you a RAKtivist if it is something you regularly practice. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation created this term as they strive to inspire us all to make kindness the norm in our daily lives. I cannot think of many better forms of activism than random kindnesses. If you need some help thinking of examples, see below for a list of various options to assist in brainstorming. Perhaps you may notice, like I did, how much random kindness you already practice without recognizing or labeling it as such. Kudos if so; see if you can expand further!

The best portion of a good [person’s] life: [their] little, nameless unremembered acts of kindness and love.

-William Wordsworth

Possible opportunities to offer kindness:

  • Hold the door open for someone.
  • Let someone in front of you in line.
  • Genuinely/honestly compliment a stranger. At lunch today, I saw someone beam when their hat was complimented.
  • Leave a kind note in a public place. Someone may really need and value those words.
  • Pick up litter as you come across it. The other day, I noticed empty boxes on a counter in the break room. I could ignore them like others, or I can clean the space up more, hopefully improving the mood of others who entered after me.
  • Send a handwritten letter to a friend or family member.
  • Donate old books, clothes, or other household items.
  • Say thank you to someone you usually take for granted, like a janitor or cashier.
  • Pay for the person behind you in line somewhere, like a drive-thru or toll booth.
  • Donate blood, sign up for organ donation, and/or join a bone marrow registry.
  • Send anonymous encouragement to a coworker or classmate.
  • Volunteer at a local shelter or food bank.
  • Leave a big tip for a server.
  • Leave a positive review online for a small business that you love.
  • Share someone’s art on social media.
  • Text or call someone to simply express appreciation for them.
  • Offer support to someone who may look lost, alone, frazzled, or afraid.
  • Make a “kindness calendar” to track your RAK daily.

We can all fight against loneliness by engaging in random acts of kindness.

-Gail Honeyman

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

-Mark Twain

I love the positive reinforcement that kindness promotes. I do not find myself reaching some quota where I suddenly feel sufficient. We do not need to define a stopping point or threshold to cease being kind. Pay it forward as much as you possibly can, for as long as you possibly can. Rooting kindness deep inside yourself as a core virtue will set you up for success. Whenever needed, slow down and reset yourself back to kindness mindsets.

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.

-Seneca

You are always with yourself; there is always an opportunity. Seize your moments kindly.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 042325

Have you ever wondered… about metta? I have. It is a Pali word for loving-kindness. The original metta meditation practice is attributed to Buddha himself. We have an ancient art that we can practice to spread loving-kindness near and far, both inward and outward.

Generosity is the most natural outward expression of an inner attitude of compassion and loving-kindness.

-Dalai Lama

Last week, I had the privileged opportunity to present a devotional practice to a group of my spiritual peers. I was initially nervous by the thought of leading such an initiative, but the following idea quickly dawned on me and fell into place with such a graceful ease. I was surprised by how simply yet thoroughly the words came to me as I drafted the plan. While I was still nervous for the actual presentation, everyone in attendance responded enthusiastically as it concluded. I was delighted and uplifted by all of their kinds words.

Be at peace with your place and cherish kindness.

-Deng Ming-Dao

The following is what I prepared and presented, aside from ad-libbed audibles. You can practice it in private, or you can proceed to share it in your own group setting, spreading yet more metta, or loving-kindness, across our communities and friend groups. There is no harm at all in helping more people ask for happiness, healthiness, and peace for all.

In one or two words, can anyone tell me what metta means in English?

It is the Pali word for loving-kindness. This practice is attributed to Buddha as one of his many creations and gifts that we are left with.

We are going to do a group meditation on metta, so I like to call it a mettatation :)

I invite everyone to close their eyes if that is comfortable. Everyone should be silent for the remainder of this exercise as well so that everyone can hear me clearly.

Check in with your body. How are you seated currently? Are you comfortable? I hope so. More importantly, though, are you balanced? Are any major points in your body cut off at extreme angles currently, restricting the flow of energy from moving freely throughout your body? Is there tension in any area that you can relax and let go of some? Allow your hands to rest gently in your lap. You are welcome to adopt a mudra if it feels acceptable to you. The two that I will briefly recommend are either the dhyana or ghyan mudra. The first one, also known as the cosmic mudra, is the most frequent hand position used in Zen. The ghyan mudra is a frequent practice in yoga, known as the wisdom pose. Settle your hands and fingers into either mudra as you adopt a stillness within your body. We will mainly use our minds for the rest of this practice. If you happen to have a gentle smile spread across your face later, well, that is completely fine and welcomed as a gift. 

We have tuned into our body and settled into a peaceful state of stillness. Now, we will work with our breath a bit. Let all the air out. Now, slowly fill your lungs full like a cup, starting from your belly until you feel it rising into your chest and up to your mouth or nostrils. Once you reach the top, feel free to express a brief moment of gratitude for something, even if it is just that breath in. Then, let it all gently stream back out of you. No need to force or rush it. It is often better to have longer exhales than inhales. At the end of the exhale, feel free to express a brief moment of gratitude for something, even if it is just that breath out. Let us practice this part at our own pace for a few breaths. 

Now, as you begin to recognize the air flowing in and out of your body, we will shift our focus from that life force to our love force. The love also flows in and out of us. Love does not move in only one direction. We should give ourselves what we give to others, and we should give to others what we give ourselves. Think of someone or something who you love. A parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. Pick one being and picture them in your mind. Feel your love flowing out to that being as you repeat the following phrases silently:

May they be happy 
May they be healthy
May they be at peace
(repeat these three phrases at least twice)

Now, let us shift the focus to ourselves. Again, please silently repeat the following:

May I be happy 
May I be healthy 
May I be at peace
(repeat these three phrases at least twice)

Think about someone who you struggle with some. Maybe not a mortal enemy or an arch-nemesis just yet, but who ruffles your feathers? Picture that being, then repeat the following silently:

May they be happy 
May they be healthy 
May they be at peace
(repeat these three phrases at least twice)

Lastly, expand your mind and emotional field as wide as you possibly can. Try to encompass the entire Earth, and I encourage and invite you all to chant the following together in unison after me:

May all beings be happy 
May all beings be healthy 
May all beings be at peace
(repeat these three phrases at least twice)

Thank you all for your practice.

Loving-kindness is an antidote to fear, anxiety, and emotional withdrawal.

-Sharon Salzberg

May I cultivate more kindness within my heart.
May I cultivate more peace within my heart.

-Traditional Buddhist meditation

Practicing loving-kindness toward ourselves seems as good a way as any to start illuminating the darkness of difficult times.

-Pema Chödrön

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous with loving-kindness.

Mournday – 042125

I mourn for all of the mean and unkind moments in the world. We do not need to say the nasty and hurtful things that we sometimes feel compelled to utter. Silence can be better and kinder at times. If you are not about to help someone, then why go to an opposite extreme and hurt them? The better alternative is a neutral middle ground that at least removes any impact whatsoever on their life and lane. We will ideally help those we come across, but do your best to not hurt others during your daily dealings. Be kind to friends and strangers alike. Pay it forward in case you need it sometime in the future.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

-Tennessee Williams

What is the point of meanness? You feel miserable and misunderstood, and misery loves company, right? Do you feel better once you drag someone else down into your gutter? What if you spent that time cleaning up your own gutter and getting out of it instead? I know that is far easier said than done oftentimes, but think about it. If you are already exerting energy, then why not at least use it for a good or right reason? Why waste your effort to disrupt and disturb others around you? Do your best by being kind to everyone.

If you can, show them the better way. If you cannot, remember this is why you have the gift of kindness.

-Marcus Aurelius

If we each move our momentum away from meanness, we can begin to spread and see so much more kindness in the world. That thought fills me with such loving warmth. Imagine treating all whom you come across as royalty; imagine treating yourself as an equal figure of royalty as well. Holding both viewpoints is not mutually exclusive. You can be the king or queen of your lane without trying to also reign over other lanes.

There’s nothing so kingly as kindness, and nothing so royal as truth.

-Alice Cary

Good words brings good feelings to the heart. Speak with kindness, always.

-Rod Williams

Do you want to perpetuate the poisonous problems? Can you start supporting a solution? The next time you may feel drawn to stir a gossip pot more, what if you bite your tongue? What if you stop short of sharing your judgments with those around you? It would be best if everyone adopts this strategy, but we each only control ourself and our individual actions. It is within our capacity to still be kind. We can be the change, showing others what is possible if they choose to lead a kinder life. You will not know if you do not try.

Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness to change a person’s life.

-Jackie Chan

I read recently that compassion is like a muscle – the more we use it, the stronger it gets. Kindness is the same. Choose even one or two moments each day to adjust a habituated pattern of meanness or negativity. By substituting an unkind saying for either no words or a kind expression, you can begin to make yourself kinder by being kinder in more and more moments. In contrast, if you stubbornly fixate on your meanness, then it is no surprise that you do not change and improve into a better and kinder being. By embracing opportunities to be better and kinder, you can feel better and kinder. Life will open to you more. You can see more of the brightness and beauty all around.

Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.

-Eric Hoffer

Mend your meanness. Kindle kindness.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 041925

goodwill (noun) – friendly disposition; benevolence; kindness

Goodwill:

Requires little to no skill

Provides a genuine thrill

Will ward off any chill

One kind word can warm three winter months.

-Japanese Proverb

Goodwill

fits any bill

to help you fulfill

a meaningful drill.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

-Aesop

You have the choice,

so you can rejoice.

Kindly use your voice.

Avoid selfish ploys.

Optimism is a choice.
Kindness is a choice.
Giving is a choice.
Respect is a choice.
Whatever choice you make makes you.
Choose wisely.

-Roy T. Bennett

Can you be more kind?

Assist those you find. 

Help others in a bind.

Goodwill in your mind.

Ask yourself: Have you been kind today?
Make kindness your modus operandi and change your world.

-Annie Lennox

Goodwill

Be still

No pill

Freewill

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 041725

While the approach to Thanksday for this cycle is odder, please do not be grumpy with my dopiness. I am thankful for Snow White and the idea that she represents. While the four main virtues that are taught to her by her father are fearless, fair, brave, and true, I think kindness is something that she cultivates personally and plentifully. Yes, I know it is a fairy tale so the character can be however they are written, but how truly different is that from our lives? We are living our tale and can create our characteristics and values.

You can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!

-Anne Frank

Snow White lost her mom due to a sickness at an early age. Her family met a charming woman who bewitched them all with her cunning deceitfulness. Many horrible events litter Snow White’s lane, but she did not lose her tune or her ability to whistle while she works. She did not let her view of the world get clouded or muddied. Snow White chose to still be friendly and kind with all whom she crossed paths with. What saved her from the huntsman who had been ordered to murder her? Her authentic and genuine kindness.

Kindness is invincible, but only when it’s sincere, not faking anything or putting on a show.

-Marcus Aurelius

I believe that kindness can be sensed in the spirit. Think of how animals react to different people and situations. What clues cue them to behave in certain ways? The vibe that you emit can be positive and enticing, or it can be negative and deterring. How aware of your aura are you? Can you be kind to yourself and begin cleaning up your own energy some?

Nonviolence and kindness to living beings is kindness to oneself.

-Mahavira

Genuine kindness is how good things grow. What are you currently growing? Are your flourishing actions conscious or unconscious? Can you take on a more active role in your gardening within your lane? I sugjest sharing your bountiful abundance generously.

I’ve been searching for ways to heal myself, and I’ve found that kindness is the best way.

-Lady Gaga

Kindness seems to often be overlooked and/or underrated in my experience. It is such a difficult behavior to maintain with consistency. When we do not feel it returned, it can be startling and disruptive to decipher and deal with. We should not let it derail us, though. Regardless of how others act, we can still choose kindness, and I highly recommend it. Maintaining such a beneficial behavior will be viewed by many as basically a miracle.

Sometimes miracles are just good people with kind hearts.

-Unknown

People all around you are waiting on a wish. What if you can help it come true? Kindness will unlock many doors, both within yourself and within those who you cross paths with. Will you spread echoing cheer and optimism, encouraging an entire community to thrive?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 041325

How do you think of kindness? Is it your default behavior, or does it only appear later after you have already established an idea that someone is safe or unthreatening? Why should kindness depend on anything at all? I believe we can always be kind. It is not easy, but it is worth it. I fail here routinely currently because I am often lost in thought with such an intensity that I miss opportunities to be friendly and kind to those around me. I am slowly learning to slow down more, to tame my thoughts more, and to be more present for anyone I come across. I wish I could say that I consistently see this act being reciprocated, but I unfortunately have my attention ignored due to a phone screen all too often. That is their choice, though. My choice is to still put forth my best effort because I know that is the kind of person I want to be – a calm, clever, present, and kind person.

A clever person cannot be evil. A kind person is always clever.
Improve your kindness by exercising your intellect, and improve your intellect by exercising your kindness and love.

-Leo Tolstoy

My efforts prove valuable because I feel better. Plus, when I do connect with someone, it is even more fulfilling. The responses are frequently pleasant and uplifting. I sugjest reminding yourself that you do not know what all is going on with those around you. Perhaps you can be a bright spot in their day or week. Do you want to pass on such an opportunity, or will you decide determinedly to be the deliberate difference dearly?

Kindness can transform someone’s dark moment with a blaze of light.
You’ll never know how much your caring matters.
Make a difference.

-Amy Leigh Mercree

Your kindness does not have to be expensive. In fact, it does not have to cost you much at all except for a bit of your energy. More often than not, the energetic return significantly offsets any output. It can even be something as simple as a smile or a warm greeting in passing. Kindness can be any positive connection shared between you and another being.

Money is but one venue for generosity.
Kindness is an even more valuable currency.

-Alan Cohen

It does not need to be overly involved or time-intensive. Take a few seconds to selflessly spread some comradely or neighborly cheer. You will feel better knowing that you are doing your best, spreading love through kindness to all whom you cross paths with. Our lanes bump up against many others. Will you make those interactions contentious and full of friction, or will you allow the passing of lanes to be freely fluid and lovingly kind?

Unexpected kindness is the most powerful,
least costly, and
most underrated agent of human change.

-Bob Kerrey

You can be rich in spirit, kindness, love and all those things that you can’t put a dollar sign on.

-Dolly Parton

How can we improve the world? It is not by repaying unkind acts with more of the same. No, we can work on getting better at turning the other cheek. Do not misunderstand. Defend your lane appropriately, but do not lash back at or attack the lanes of others. There is a difference that takes time to fine-tune. I know how quick I want to counterstrike at times, so this will be good practice for me to reflect on and implement more effectively.

You should respond with kindness toward evil done to you, and you will destroy in an evil person that pleasure which [they] derive from evil.

-Leo Tolstoy

I believe we can make our lanes healthier and wiser. Improvements kindled by kindness can begin to spread like a holy wildfire that burns away any evil darkness and webs of hate and lies. Therein lies a kinder way for our kind to coexist side-by-side for all time.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 041125

To express oneself honestly, not lying to oneself…
now that, my friend, is very hard to do.

-Bruce Lee

Honestly, I am exhausted, so I am excited to exercise my freedom this Freeday to write whatever I want. Who knew past me was padding these cycles so wisely? How honest have you been with yourself today? This week? This year? Can you honestly say you are happy with your recent choices? Please take careful note that I am not asking if you like the results of events happening around you. We do not control those. Are you happy with your choices in relation to those events, though? We do control those. Have you sat down with yourself and assessed your life honestly? One-quarter of 2025 has already passed. Do you want to keep doing what you have been doing for nine more months or change?

Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.

-John Lennon

My boss at work recently asked me to complete a self-feedback exercise. My initial gut response was to shrink away and recoil at the thought. You want me to do what? At the end of it, though, I can honestly say that I found myself proud of and refreshed by my reflective effort. I can see what went well and what can be improved upon in the future. By being honest with myself, this process helped show me what to keep doing, what to stop doing, and what to change or adjust in some capacity. I sugjest trying it out soon.

When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.

-Paulo Coelho

Do you honestly think we will ever figure out life completely? I doubt it. Life might become boring if that were to happen. Each day is a new adventure. Will you rise and face the challenges fully and honestly, or will you proceed apathetically, stuck in the same ole somnambulism of old? To be even more open and honest, I was derailed deep in the depths of despair last week. It was a tough trek for me. I am proud to report that I am piecing myself back together and returning to a healthy, thriving state. I am not sure if I am better than before yet. The bridge in my lane was rattled and tested severely last week, so I spent a lot of time inspecting my supports and seeing what all needed to be strengthened or restrengthened. Honestly, I think that may be another key. How many times may we need to be reminded of an older lesson, a pivotal point to relearn again?

Almost any difficulty will move in the face of honesty. When I am honest, I never feel stupid. And when I am honest, I am automatically humble.

-Hugh Prather

The quantity does not matter. The quality holds the importance. Knowing something versus fully integrating it into your being are honestly two very different concepts and practices. We should become aware of a faulty support in order to identify what to work on, and then we need to spend as much time as needed to truly and honestly work on it. We should make sure that what truly matters is ingrained deeply within our essence for all eternity. How else can we ever expect enlightenment to exist eternally with everyone?

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.

-Warren Buffett

What is the quality of your character? Is it rich, or is it cheap?

Enough from me for now. Peace and love, y’all <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 040925

Have you ever wondered… about radical honesty? I have. It is a term that involves committing to living a life with no lies. Some people spin the idea of little white lies as being “harmless” or in someone’s benefit. You cannot truly prove that, though. You are making excuses to justify your actions. What kind of world would we live in if we only ever hear what we think we want to hear? We often need to hear something honest and true. What if you have the opportunity to help shake some sense into someone else?

I’d rather get bad news from an honest [person] than lies from a flatterer.

-Ursula K. Le Guin

However, there is such a thing as taking any practice to an extreme. Learn how to fine-tune an honest balance in order to avoid being stubborn to a fault. Do not adopt a stance of radical honesty as a means to say whatever you want under a guise of honesty. It does not matter if what you are about to say is honest if it will be detrimental to someone else. You can choose to stay silent. You can be honest with yourself internally while wisely choosing to not impart that idea upon someone else unless they invite the honesty.

I will begin to speak, when I have that to say which had not better be unsaid.

-Cato the Younger

Not every moment needs to be filled with noise. Honest silence can be golden. You can choose to not respond to everything, especially if your honest answer is not helpful. On the other side of that coin, you do not need to feel compelled to respond to someone in a way that you think they want to hear. What if that forced and faked response sets them up for failure down the road? Do you ever wonder about the ripple effect caused by your honesty or dishonesty? Which do you think provides more favorable results in the end?

Being nice often entails putting up a dishonest front, so you don’t hurt people’s feelings.

-Dr. Aziz Gazipura

If anything, I highly sugjest practicing radical honesty with yourself. You can feel free to help others if they honestly ask for your assistance and you think your next words will add value to their life and lane. By turning the idea of radical honesty inward, you can stop deluding and distracting yourself from the lies that you have been holding onto and telling yourself. Break free of the vicious cycle that your dishonest self-talk can easily perpetuate. Accept an honest level of accountability that opens you up to more curiosity and opportunities for deeper levels of connectedness, both with yourself and with others.

Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?

-Marcus Aurelius

Honestly ask yourself the following – which of these approaches will benefit me more in the long-run: working on improving myself, which is entirely within my control, or harping on others for more change, which they may or may not even try, let alone stick to? Be radically honest with yourself; be generous and benevolent in your actions with others.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Honestly, stay wondrous, y’all :) <3

Mournday – 040725

No one can prove that at times a lie is necessary.

-Saint Augustine

I mourn for the dishonest parts of us. How often do we deceive ourselves, acting like everything is ok while ignoring so much pain? I sugjest we all slow down and take an honest look at ourselves in order to fully acknowledge who and how we are right now. Accept the current state of things while also identifying what all can be improved. See what needs to be faced head-on and healed. Learn how to be even better. Unless we honestly put in the work, how can we expect anything to get better? Do we wait for something outside to magically fix it all? No, we fix ourselves, slowly but surely. It may take our entire lives, but it is the worthy and worthwhile work that honestly benefits all.

You have to be honest with yourself. It’s easy to ignore things, make excuses. You may need to confront pride, confront an addiction, or confront compromise. Maybe you need to apologize to someone. The longer you put it off, the longer you’re wandering.

-Joel Osteen

If we can all be more honest with ourselves and others, then the world will be golden. We may see some significant shake-ups in the short-term as a result of such open and authentic honesty, but it will pave a path towards a more true and free way of being. Fewer masks and mundane tasks. More joy and truths to deploy. We can embrace an impact that embellishes our innate gifts and talents. We can honestly hone a holistic wholeness. Dishonesty is a choice to degrade and disintegrate your divine integrity.

Until [humans] start having honest conversations about who they truly are, what demons they battle with, where they lack and what they truly want… love will continue to be a temporary emotion…

Honesty and communication are key.

-Unknown Author

Do you want to continue detracting and distracting from your well-being, or are you ready to choose a healthier and more honest way? Only you should honestly say.

Please do not persist in perpetuating and propagating the public pandering. Please promote permission for the population to present peacefully and personally.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 040525

veracious vs. insidious

veracious (adjective) – habitually speaking the truth; truthful; honest

insidious (adjective) – intended to entrap or beguile; stealthily treacherous or deceitful

They look the same with how they end,

Yet their last syllables each do bend.

What on the surface may seem couth

May be backed by many a sharp tooth.

Trust your gut, and listen to your instinct.

What smells true, and what truly stinks?

One relies on darkness; the other walks in light.

Both can still exist, whether it is day or night.

Do you speak for all, freely and fair?

Or is it only you about whom you care?

Can you live a life judicious and veracious?

Or do you persist venomous and insidious?

I sugjest pursuing an honest path.

Charting best results is easy math.

I think about my life on a scale.

Will it pass, or will it fail?

I do not know. Time will tell.

I will do my best until that bell.

Do I want to look back on lots of lies?

No, to see a good life is quite the prize.

I will not choose a negative way.

My past vices now hold little sway.

I seek to spread lots of good and cheer.

In as many places as possible, far and near.

If our paths cross one day, I pray you will say,

“There goes a person who knows what to convey,

A true meaning of life, spreading lots of love.”

Please let me be a peaceful sign, like a dove.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 040325

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

-Thomas Jefferson

I am very thankful for Honest Abe. Abraham Lincoln was a simple and self-educated man from the midwest. He demonstrated an ideal and true potential of human development when you apply yourself positively and productively. His level of self-awareness and pursuit of the greater good are nearly unparalleled in recent times. In a world where disinformation and deceit run deep, honesty is a hill to proudly stand on and defend devoutly with dedication and determination. Proclaim your truth from that position.

To believe all men honest would be folly.
To believe none so, is something worse.

-John Quincy Adams

I think ancient Stoics would have admired Abraham like I do. He was a captivating orator as well as a champion wrestler. He demonstrated mental, physical, and spiritual class and acumen with his many prowesses. I learned last night from a friend that Abe allegedly invented or popularized the choke slam move used in many wrestling matches today. He is also the only US President to hold a US patent. Abraham Lincoln is honestly a great role model. No wonder many polls and surveys rank him as one of the greatest presidents of all time. His accomplishments and track record are illustriously impressive.

Still I hope I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain (what I consider the most enviable of all titles) the character of an honest [person].

-George Washington

If you want to connect with more of the spirit world, then take a solemn walk around the cemetery in Gettysburg. It is the site where Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address. It shows how something good can still come from something so terrible and nightmarish. Feeling those two sides was overwhelming for me as I walked the grounds one late afternoon earlier this year. One of the worst battles on American soil in recent history, yet it yielded one of the greatest movements towards equity and unity for all.

Honestly, if I were two-faced, would I be showing you this one?

-Abraham Lincoln

Emancipation is a true liberation for Americans.

Honest equity and freedom should be global givens.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 033025

Let honesty be as the breath of thy soul.

-Benjamin Franklin

Can I be honest with you? Why does someone even need to start a conversation with that question? How far have we strayed if the default is now dishonesty? When can we remove our masks and honestly be our authentic, beautiful selves? Right now. What is stopping you – the desire or perceived need to “fit in”? How well are you fitting into your own body if you are being dishonest with yourself in order to do so? Not too well IMO.

I wish we could stop the little lies. I don’t mean that one has to be brutally frank. I don’t believe that we should be brutal about anything, however, it is wonderfully liberating to be honest.

-Maya Angelou

I have a history of naively trusting others too quickly. If I am being honest in my actions, then that means others will be honest in theirs, too, right? If only… yet, do I choose to be defeated by it? No. It means I simply need to practice better discernment moving forward. I choose to still be honest. I believe it is important. It is how I choose to cultivate my lane. If others choose to “build” their lane more surreptitiously, well, that is their choice. I can guarantee that it will be nowhere near as authentic or beautiful. Those who know the difference will be able to easily decipher the decent work from the dishonest jerks.

To live a life of honesty and integrity is a responsibility of every decent person.

-Noam Chomsky

Honesty is the best policy. That is a common expression, and I think it is worth its weight in gold. According to the fourth guardrail, honesty should be a constant ideal to strive towards and actively uphold. Even while we wish everyone would, we can still do so. We do not need to degrade to lower levels and join in on any dishonest deterioration. We can honestly hone a better and higher way for our lanes. Honestly and humbly lead by example. Many will watch and learn eventually. Watch and see, or simply trust me.

Honesty is one part of eloquence. We persuade others by being in earnest ourselves.

-William Hazlitt

If you want to take it one step further, you can circle back to dishonest moments of your past and own up to them now (or soon). I have done so a number of times over the past year. At least four or five occurrences immediately jump to mind. I was nervous and a bit frightened going into each one, but I felt lighter and more relieved leaving each and every one of those opportunities. I suspect all of us have streaks of dishonesty in our past. What can set them free? Honestly owning up to them. I sugjest trying it out for yourself.

It’s impossible to always get across what I’m trying to say, but, if I just stay honest, then I’m not going to look back on any of these interviews and wonder what I was trying to do or be.

-Kristen Stewart

I believe it is helpful (and possibly even necessary, perhaps at least to start) to slow down all of your actions in order to interact with yourself and others more honestly. When we move quickly (including in talking), how reflexively habituated are many of our behaviors and speech patterns? I do not find it fun to move through life on auto-pilot. It does not feel natural to me. You can choose to live however you want, but I believe in pursuing a full and honest experience during my time here. I believe that is how to live life best. I choose to move at my pace if it permits me to position myself in more honest, beautiful, and authentic moments. Honestly, how can you live your best life in your lane?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 032825

One of the spiritual leaders in Buddhism is called the Karmapa. I heard some beautiful stories about the current one. He demonstrates how we can all see plenty of beauty in our surroundings. When visiting a new city on a dreary day, he commented with honest fascination on all the tones of gray interwoven amidst the clouds in the sky. Another time, when speaking to students in a run-down pub or bar of sorts, he did not choose to be deterred or distracted by the shabbiness that others focused on. Instead, he was excited because he had never given a talk before in a place that had a disco ball! I love these :)

One way to open your eyes to unnoticed beauty is to ask yourself, ‘What if I had never seen this before? What if I knew I would never see it again?’

-Rachel Carson

Do you want to direct your attention to where others are trying to draw it, or can you control your focus and find the best beauty in as many moments as possible? We have that choice constantly. I sugjest choosing to behold beauty whenever and wherever you can. Do not let others drag you down to wallow in their way of wavering. Direct your deliberate devotion to the natural and divine beauty that wraps itself around us. You need only open your eyes and accept the warm hug that is always there waiting for you.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

-Roald Dahl

What are your thoughts often like? Are they sunny and beautiful? I sugjest forgiving yourself for and letting go of your past way(s) of thinking. Start shifting the narrative. You control your inner monologue. I know how horrible mine used to be. It is not perfect now, but it is significantly better. There is more beauty in my mind now, so I am now a much more beautiful being as a result of it. I strongly sugjest supplanting sewage and sludge. It may take time to make it budge, but your health and well-being are worth that nudge.

Mind your thoughts, as they become your words. Mind your words, as they become your actions. Mind your actions, as they become you.

-Buddha

“The past is full of inspiring possibilities that must guide us today so we always act as if change is possible.” Your path is full of beautiful and positive opportunities, and change is truly possible. Do you choose to be more beautiful now? Why are you dulling yourself?

Never dull your shine for somebody else.

-Tyra Banks

Please patiently proceed to peacefully produce the prettiest and most pristine lane that you can possibly procure. Promote a positive pattern for peers to peer upon and ponder about please. Some people will continue choosing to ignore beauty, delighting in wrongly warping whatever is right in front of them. Be mindful of how such a mindset may mold your meanings. Would you rather see the beauty or the beast? Be my beautiful guest.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 032625

Have you ever wondered… about ullassa? I have. It is a Sanskrit word, representing any heartwarming feeling that arises when you observe and appreciate natural beauty. It could be a sunrise, a sunset, a tranquil forest, or a captivating storm. Maybe you really like the view of a brick wall or a stone path. Earlier this week, my capacity for cuteness nearly overloaded while watching a baby squirrel run around through a yard. Its bushy, tiny tail was absolutely adorable, and seeing how it was clearly still learning how to hop around in a balanced and coordinated way filled me with so much awe and admiration for natural life. Watching woodland critters around my home delights me on a regular basis (unless the squirrels are trying to inappropriately raid my feeders). I have learned that I do not always need to be staring at a screen or engaging in extroverted, social activities. Instead, I see plenty of beauty in many simple things. Unfortunately, I believe too many others take these passing pleasures for granted, glossing right over them with blind eyes.

Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

-Franz Kafka

Ullassa can serve as a good reminder to slow down. Then, you can engage with your senses more. See, hear, smell, taste, and feel more than you typically do by being more present and calmly engaged right here and right now. When did you last sit still and watch the sun move across the sky? Observe the slow shift in the spectrum as colors burst forth or fade away across the horizon. Do you ever watch clouds form together and fall apart? Are you soaking in the range and details of naturally-beautiful and colorful surroundings, or are you tuned out and checked out, living in an ennui noir grayscale?

At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.

-Toni Morrison

I will openly and honestly share one of my weirder life experiences. You will choose to believe me or not, but it will not change what I believe or how I live. My vision shifts in notable and noticeable ways whenever I am more present and positive. When I start to simply see the scenery with selfless, loving appreciation, it all takes on a more crisp and captivating condition. In complete contrast, when I rush around or feel down and out, the same exact bookcase does not feel or look as warm and inviting. By taking more mindful moments to calmly move through life, I see and value more beauty in everything, and it makes living more pleasant as well as significantly more engaging. I value this ability.

too often we get caught up in our imagination, creating heavy narratives about the past or craving something in the future, altogether missing the beautiful moment that is right in front of us. every moment has potential, and that potential is defined by how we arrive into it. our minds have the power to turn a moment that might easily have been forgotten into something awe-inspiring and positively life-changing.

-yung pueblo

Even now, collecting myself more wholly to wisely write these words sparks an aliveness in this room that, minutes ago, was not here as much as it is now. I delight in in-depth details, I partake in more particulars, and I bask in yet more beauty. You do not have to take my word for it. Tap into your inner beauty as you connect with natural beauty all around you right now. Look past whatever may be upsetting you. Find the true joy and wonder that is buried beneath it. Some things may require a lot of digging to get to the valuable worth waiting, but it is worth it. Can you redefine a high definition view of life?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :) <3

Mournday – 032425

I mourn for all of the vain folk out there, those who care more about external beauty than inner beauty. You probably think this post is about you. Why invest so much in something that is fleeting and will definitely leave you at some point in the future? Instead, you can hone inner traits and virtues that you are capable of carrying with you for the rest of your life and possibly beyond, depending on what you believe. Our bodies will be left behind at some point. How beautiful is your soul? Will you be ready to see it beyond this body?

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness.

-John Keats

Should we take care of our bodies? Yes, in a balanced and healthy way. Not to an extreme in either direction, though. Pay plenty of attention to your health and well-being, but define it according to how you feel, not how you look. Why do you think some people who seemingly “have it all” are still absolutely miserable? They might appear beautiful and glamorous when gazed upon from the outside, looking in and being distracted by the smoke and mirrors. Yet, when faced with the true nature of self and when all the masks and personas are removed, well, that is when true beauty can be authentically and honestly recognized as present and powerful or dreadful and deficient, pure and pristine or lackluster and lacking. Make-up will only cover up and make up for but so much.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth.

-1 Peter 3:3-4

Again, feel free to embrace beauty, but do not let it solely define you. Do not make it all that matters. Cultivate beautiful inner work while enjoying painted nails and alluring lashes. Manufacture a mesmerizing musk instead of using fake scents as cover-ups. Enhancing your preexisting qualities is very different from casting false illusions of yourself. If you only feel pretty with a bunch of filters and effects applied to your photos, then what work are you ignoring while deluding, diluting, and distracting? You do not achieve honest and long-lasting beauty by attempting a bunch of shortcuts. True beauty requires careful and deliberate steps to supplant and sustain a sincere and sweet self. Fewer mirrors and more moments with others. Less vanity and more spiritual sanity.

Exterior beauty without the depth of a kind soul is merely decoration.

-Unknown

We are all beautiful in our own unique ways. Do not believe anyone else who tries to tell you differently. Remember how much inner beauty they still need to work on if they choose to voice such vain and self-absorbed, comparative nastiness. Hopefully, they will eventually figure that out one day, but we can keep calm and carry on beautifully.

I’ve never met a person I couldn’t call a beauty.

-Andy Warhol

Can you channel your inner Warhol to see more beauty in everyone around? It will now be a fun game for me to play. I hope you will see my beautiful inside as I admire yours.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 032225

exuberant vs. deficient

exuberant (adjective) – effusively and almost uninhibitedly enthusiastic; abounding in vitality; extremely joyful and vigorous

deficient (adjective) – lacking some element or characteristic; insufficient; inadequate

Can you wake up full of joy,

or do you grumble aloud “oh boy”?

Does sun streaming in bring delight,

or do you try to shut your eyes tight?

As others begin to stir and make noise,

how peaceful and present is your poise?

Do you slow down and savor your breakfast,

or are you already too busy acting headless?

Can you pause and admire the view,

or do you trudge along with no clue?

What all is pleasing to your senses

if you forego all habitual pretenses?

Are you calm and content when you crawl into bed,

or are your thoughts running wild through your head?

Can you replay a tale of awe and discovery,

or do you relive certain horrors and drudgery?

Can you embrace your life as exuberant,

or do you see this existence as deficient?

Beauty can be yours to behold.

Judge carefully what is truly gold.

Do not buy everything that is sold.

Ignore the voices that are too bold.

Listen mainly to the wise and old.

The best way to live is oft foretold.

Beauty does not fit a standard mold.

Tend to your lane with warmth, not cold.

Then beauty will surely be yours to behold.

Exuberance is beauty.

-William Blake

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 032025

Does your life spark joy? Can you see the beauty in all of the little things around you? I am very thankful for Marie Kondo. She has seen the beauty in organized and purposeful placements for the majority of her life. She also recognizes how her sense of beauty has changed over the years. Beauty is not static. It ebbs and flows; it blooms and grows; it is fast and slow. Do not cling to it. Let it come and go. Channel your inner Marie Kondo.

Too many things in too small a space cut off flow, block creativity, and bury beauty, much like a bad cold can make it hard to breathe.

-Laura Staley

Marie Kondo acknowledges her affinity for feeling feng shui in a place from an early age, a rare ability to feel the energy movement in a location. She can quietly observe if a space is balanced and flowing or stifled and stagnant. She had a fainting spell when she was younger as well. Her epiphany upon recovering consciousness was to focus less on only identifying what all around her can be thrown away. Instead, she learned to appreciate seeing the beauty in everything that stays. If you do not see the beauty in something, then why are you still holding onto it? Why do you cling to things that do not shine and brighten your being with glowing presence? If you are not actively seeing beauty, then what all are you intaking, something that does not help or, worse, possibly harms you?

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.

-William Morris

When have you last slowed down to soak in your surroundings? How habituated have you become to existing art, decorations, and pictures that adorn your abode? Here is an interesting idea: take things down if you have become accustomed to them to the point that you no longer even notice them. I do not recommend replacing existing stuff with simply more stuff. No, I sugjest leaning into the emptiness. Find beauty in nothing.

It is only when you put your house in order that your furniture and decorations come to life.

-Marie Kondo

Then, when you put that object back on display again, whether it be on a table or a wall, you can truly appreciate its value and see it for all of its beauty again. We often become so blind to beauty that my heart hurts even writing this sentence. That is how deeply this sad truth pains me at my beautiful core. Various addictions, cravings, and desires override our ability to simply sit back, observe, and appreciate all the awe that surrounds us on a regular basis. Bask in the natural beauty. This morning, I saw a solar halo during my drive to work. It was a stunningly beautiful rainbow encircling the sun through icy clouds. How many other commuters missed such a mesmerizing, natural sight because it was “just another day”, repeating a morning drive? Each moment is beautiful if you see it that way.

When we focus on the small worlds our thoughts create, we miss out on the beauty and possibilities we are meant to enjoy.

-Guy Finley

You can begin seeing beauty if you adjust and expand your mindset. It is not always easy, but it is worth it. You can behold beautiful surroundings if you remember how to look at everything with fresh, unfiltered eyes. I sugjest giving it a try. I hope you spark more joy.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 031625

Authenticity creates natural beauty. As long as you see it for yourself, that is enough because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Would you rather behold your own beauty and feel beautiful yourself? I would. How empty must it feel to only hear about it from others without believing it yourself? Only you know your true depths and all of the crevices therein. Learn to love them all, and live in your beauty as best as you can.

Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons.

-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Beauty is not the same for everyone. We each have our own worth and authenticity to explore and embody in order to fully embrace our entire being as the beautiful selves that we can all be. Please ignore any societal standards that do not resonate with your sense of inner beauty. As long as you cultivate your lane confidently, you can choose the contents that create your beauty. We can build our best beauty when we do just that – keep our eyes focused on crafting our own beautiful lane. We do not need to worry about the beauty of our neighbors’ lanes. It is not a competition. Make your lane as aligned and augmented with your authentic beauty as possible while leaving that same responsibility up to everyone else for their own lane. You can enjoy more time with such an approach.

How much time [they] gain who does not look to see what [their] neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what [they] do [themself], to make it just and holy.

-Marcus Aurelius

Building a beauty that is only skin-deep will not get you very far in life in the long-run. A lifelong beauty is patiently produced with personal traits that you can carry forward with you forever. It is easy to see through a facade once you know how to look at things properly. It is similarly easy to see authentic beauty when it shines forth boldly and proudly from spirited people. Which approach do you believe is better for your lane?

The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within – strength, courage, dignity.

-Ruby Dee

The beauty that lasts is the beauty that will not fade with age. While it is quite haunting, this reading sent shivers through me the other morning when I read it. I know what I want to see in the end. Can you start formulating a more beautiful result for you as well?

The Persians have such a fable: After death, a soul flew into the sky, and met a terrible woman, a dirty and horrible apparition, with festered sores discharging pus, who was going in the opposite direction. "What are you doing here?" asked the soul. "Who are you?" The terrible woman answered, "I am your deeds."

-Leo Tolstoy

Indeed, you can and will choose to believe what you wish. I sugjest reviewing your deeds to determine if there is sufficient beauty in your actions. How beautiful is your soul?

There is no beauty but the beauty of action.

-Moroccan Proverb

Act beautifully. Live beautifully. Behold beauty everywhere. You have the choice :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 031425

Authenticity is not something that others bestow upon you from the outside. You should learn to listen and let it bubble up from the inside. What is your shadow trying to tell you? How is your inner child attempting to direct you? Are you thriving in your lane while adhering to the guardrails, or are you only getting by while going through the motions on autopilot? I do not think we are here to simply survive. I believe we should fully embody our entire being, embracing an authentic life that is unapologetically pure and soulful.

The authentic self is the Soul made visible.

-Sarah Ban Breathnach

Don’t be afraid of losing people, but be afraid of losing yourself trying to make everyone happy.

-Naguib Mahfouz

Will everyone appreciate and value your authentic self? No. Perhaps you remind them of their shadow or something that they are choosing to avoid and not confront themselves. It says more about them than you, and it allows you another opportunity to practice the second guardrail more effectively by not taking their reaction(s) personally. If you keep putting in the work to improve, then you may notice the stagnation of many around you. Feeling a desire to help is natural for most, but we waste time trying to help any who are not ready to help themselves. Offer aid if you wish, but also be prepared to set aside work that does not belong to you in order to maintain your best focus and mindset.

If you want to live your most authentic life, you’ve got to include the self beneath the surface.

-Jay Shetty

When you choose to embrace authenticity, you enjoy witnessing a truly beautiful life unfold. It can be intimidating to some who are not yet prepared for such a personal transformation. For likeminded individuals, though, you can help them burn even brighter alongside you. That is the beauty of authenticity. It is not competitive. It is cooperative and synergistic. Truly authentic people will easily and happily build one another up.

it's the friends who help you reconnect
with your original mission and values
who make a substantial difference in your life

sometimes it just takes one conversation
with someone who is radically authentic
to reignite your inner fire
and help you get back on the right path

-yung pueblo

Like I heard from a dear friend last week, how can we all be our true and noble selves? One way to start is to quiet your mind in order to listen to your heart. Then, eventually, you can also begin to quiet your heart in order to listen to your soul. You have the power. Do you choose to use it, or will you continue to live an inauthentic life that is incomplete?

Most powerful [are they] who [have themself] in [their] own power.

-Seneca

Absolute authenticity requires conscious control of your complete self. Perhaps not down to each and every bodily function internally but certainly to the point that it covers all of your actions and choices externally. Emotions and feelings will come and go, but what you do with all that information that the world provides is in your power. Will you own it all, or will you continue to give it up? I believe in you. We can bloom. I am trying so hard to shine my authentic light for all of us. I am also shining my authentic darkness when it best helps myself and those around me. Therein rests true beauty, embracing wholeness as a perfectly imperfect being. A work of art who may never be finished mastering peace.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 031225

Have you ever wondered… about your shadow? I have. I used to avoid my shadow at all costs; that foolish approach only proved to be to my own detriment and deterioration. We should not hide from ourselves, else we may devolve even further. You can wear masks for everyone else, but your body will not fool itself. Your true, inner authenticity will break free in some way, shape, or form eventually. I sugjest allowing your breakout to happen in a healthy and controlled way. Else, you may not enjoy the uncontrolled alternative.

Those parts of yourself that you desperately want to hide and destroy will gain power over you. The best thing to do is face and own them, because they are forever a part of you.

-Janet Mock

I will be fully honest and transparent here. I thought I could move through life, being my best self, with only the light side of me. It took many conversations with multiple close friends to make me finally realize that I should not fear my shadow. Instead, I should embrace it and use it for my best next steps whenever it serves the best purpose. Otherwise, at best, only half of my entire best is trying to move me forward in life.

Now, as I slowly but surely integrate myself more fully, I can bring more of my entire being into each best next step. The difference is noticeable and significant. My personal output and productivity have improved alongside an increased sense of wholeness and well-being that are wonderfully worthwhile. Why wait while wilting and withering?

To only live with half of yourself is to be like a fish out of water or a flame with no access to fresh air and oxygen to use as fuel. You are slowly suffocating yourself. Is that what you want to be doing? I certainly hope not. I hate square breathing because of the breath holds; I deeply cherish my inhales and exhales evenly; I am equally learning to evenly cherish my light and shadow sides. Synergistically, the two make me a better person than only one of them. I burn better and brighter, integrating my being more authentically.

Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire.

-St. Catherine of Siena

Are you ready to start your shadow work? I hope so. Good luck. It is not easy, but it is worth it. A future, more authentic version of you will thank the current you for trying :) Show up with your light and your shadow. Use them both accordingly in the best way.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 031025

I mourn for the copycats and posers, those inauthentic mimics who memorize movements instead of making memories. Curate compassionate creations or manufacture more mundane? Repeat the rote from others or ritualize what really reminds you of what resonates with your deepest sense of self? Authenticity allows you to be your own amazing and unique individual; it can help you realize that there is no need to feel like you must fit into a mold or follow along with a mob in order to mingle with the masses.

The real religion is not imitation of anybody else; it is a search to find out your own authentic self, who you are.

-Rajneesh

I know it can feel important at times to try and fit in. That pressure can be very intense depending on the people around you. What does that say, though, if the peer pressure is strong? It feels like a breach of guardrails to me. Mob mentality is basically the complete opposite of authenticity. Would you rather lie to yourself or lie to others? Now, ideally, we should lie to no one. However, it takes a big, healthy dose of confidence to boldly move through life with an unapologetic sense of true and honest authenticity. I encourage you to work on it because I believe it is the best way. Remember, “to thine own self be true.”

It never ceases to amaze me; we all love ourselves more than other people but care more about their opinion than our own.

-Marcus Aurelius

No matter what, people are going to like you or not like you. So be authentic, and let them like you or not for who you actually are.

-Kobe Bryant

Do you truly enjoy following an earthly idol or adhering to the current trend or fad? Would it be better to reconnect with your true self? How about, when you were a kid, what sparked joy for you? Do you still partake in such activities or anything similar now? Our interests early on in life speak volumes about our authentic nature and tendencies. Mute them now, and you will stay disconnected from fullness at your own risk. If others think you should “grow up” or “fit in”, then question back why they are not still childlike. Why are they so busy being bossy instead of simply enjoying the fun moments in life? Control sadly supersedes fun for far too many, and conformity constricts contentment.

The world is waiting for you, exactly as you are.

-Beth Santos

Please do not keep the world waiting any longer. We need and want you for you, not you as some cheap knock-off of someone else. Explore what makes you your best you. Embrace your true truth, and channel more authenticity empathetically and emphatically.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 030825

genuine vs. swindle

genuine (adjective) – possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; authentic; real; free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere

swindle (verb/noun) – to obtain by fraud or deceit; anything deceptive; a fraud

Natural inclinations vs. learned behavior 

Intuitive steps vs. cultured habit

Flowing action vs. conditioned reaction

Would you consider yourself to be a genuine soothsayer or a swindling smoothsayer? Are you authentically speaking truths to benefit all, or are you only saying what the other person wants to hear (or does not even want to hear) in order to get what you want?

Belonging starts with self-acceptance… believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic.

-Brené Brown

Which feels better? It does not matter which gets you more in the moment. If you think like that, then it is likely that you are only seeing with two eyes what is immediately in front of you. You are seeking instant gratification. Anything attained inauthentically will catch up with you. That karmic seed will be sowed. When you eventually reap it, well, time will tell. I cannot foretell those specifics, but it will catch up with you at some point.

By being authentically who you are, you might be slower in becoming successful, but you’re going to be slowly gathering people who are your tribe, your kinda folks.

-Chloé Zhao

What truly matters is what gets all the most in the long-run. Which best and authentic action can help you balance out your soul’s scales? Selfish swines will be left to brine amidst terrible tines. Authentic aspirants will be assured of their admirable actions to advance angelically. Genuinely, it is unbecoming to pursue a life full of any swindling.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 030625

Authenticity does not always demand verbosity. I am thankful for yet another Stoic philosopher, Paconius Agrippinus. As I understand it, he was a man who excelled at metaphorically marching to the beat of his own drum. It did not matter if others around him were moving to a different tune. He knew what mattered most to him, and he owned his authenticity. He proudly stood out as a bright spot amid much plainness and blending.

Agrippinus lived during the time of a leader who was basically the opposite of Marcus Aurelius. Nero has a terrible track record as emperor. Despite this common knowledge, he still ignored invites to palace parties, and he accepted exile over forceful acquiescence. In a way, instead of falsely and unjustly bending the knee, Agrippinus resisted with glee.

To state the obvious in case the bluntness is necessary, this lesson is even applicable in present day. Do we give into fear like current administrations and leaderships are trying to monger? Or, do we keep our focus on our lane, doing the best we can, while also doing our best to ignore anything outside of our control? If it affects us down the road, then we will act accordingly and authentically then. Until then, we can still live our best life. We can choose to color it however we like or feel is best as a personal choice as well as a gesture of dissent against those who wish to see us suffer in solid and soiled silence.

Accept right now that you are magnificent. Being your real, true, authentic self is what’s most awesome about you.

-Gabby Bernstein

Do you silence yourself? Have you heard or felt a call to do more, to fully own your best life? If you are ignoring your own authenticity, then are you surprised that you may feel off or broken? I believe that authenticity leads to wholeness. Do you want to be a fragment of your true self, or do you want to step into your entire breadth?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

-Mary Oliver

Do not let others silence your best, and please do not silence it yourself. Sit with yourself in silence for some time, reflecting on this sugjestion. How can you begin to channel and embrace more of your best and true authenticity? How can you make Agrippinus and countless others proud of how you shape your lane similarly? Not identically, but proportionally perfect. Authenticity comes in many shapes and sizes. Find your true shape. Identify your best size. Please, do not sacrifice or compromise but thrive.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 030225

As you start sustaining sufficient self-worth, you can begin to embody your best true self. You should always effectively prioritize yourself. Once again, it is not a selfish action or behavior because, if you are your best self, it allows you to provide your best support and assistance to all others around you. So, each of us should focus on being our best self.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

-Judy Garland

Trust me. I completely understand, firsthand, how terrifying and uncomfortable it can be to fully and truly embrace your authenticity; I am one of the weirdest people I know. I mean, come on, I write posts here as “a sugjester” :) I make up my own words on occasion and live my life in significantly different and seemingly-unusual ways compared to the vast majority of people. Do you know what, though? I absolutely love it. Despite the discomfort at times when I put myself out there in honest, open, transparent, and vulnerable ways, I feel better afterwards because I am not compromising on who and how I am. I do not feel empty or hollow inside as a result of trying to live my life according to societal standards of what we should be like in order to be “normal” in the twenty-first century. Normal is a fake illusion. Authenticity is an absolute truth.

There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice.

-Michelle Obama

Are you using your authentic voice? I am.

This is me. Who are you?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 022825

Are you beginning to see and value your true worth? Can you start to embrace yourself as perfectly imperfect? See your perfect. Understand you are worth it :) That is the beauty of self-worth. It does not matter what anyone else sees or thinks. Are you at peace with your best self? Can you rest well knowing that your lane is on track?

We are all born worthy. Worthy of love,
worthy of success.

-Jamie Lee Curtis

You know you are doing well with self-worth when you can confidently and honestly say, “I don’t wanna be anything other than me.” I do not want to be anything other than what I have been lately. I hope you can say the same. Prove your own worth as fully as you can. Do not feel the need to fit into an existing mold. There is only one of you. Please be you.

It’s your place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.

-Mae Jemison

If you keep believing in yourself and ignoring the outside dissent, then you can continue growing and improving to levels that may exceed any and all imaginations. To be fully honest, I am quite astonished by how I am living my life now. In the past, I did not believe that such a way was truly possible. Now, I am simply thankful for it all. My body has more scars than I care to admit, but I see the worth in my broken and beautiful self. Can you say the same? Reflect on the reasons for why you should feel worthy and noble.

We are constantly invited to be what we are; as to something worthy and noble.

-Henry David Thoreau

How can you reach for those stars and beyond if you keep limiting yourself? Do not sell yourself short. Be impeccable as you do the best that you can do while avoiding as many assumptions as possible. Choose to live your full, fulfilling, worthwhile, and worthy life.

Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.

-Oprah Winfrey

It is love alone that gives worth to all things.

-Teresa of Ávila

Love yourself to give worth to yourself. Love others to give worth to them. Yes, that even includes our enemies. I know how hard this act can be, but guess what? It is worth it :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 022625

Have you ever wondered… about saying no more? How often do you say yes to whatever someone asks of you? Has it ever occurred to you that constantly saying yes to others means you are always saying no to yourself? Please ponder now if that feels very fair to you. Have you considered what your time is worth? It is the currency of your life. Perhaps a balance here is truly best. That is what I typically strive for each day, an even mix of yes and no. An added bonus is that you can now practice effective boundaries with this act.

Power for me is ‘no.’ No is very powerful. Because if you’re always available – and this goes for relationships, too – just keep saying no. That’s when you know your worth, when you know your value.

-Taraji P. Henson

Are you afraid of saying no? Do you worry about upsetting others? If so, then it means you may care more about the feelings of others than your own feelings and well-being. I know this sounds selfish, but I do not think it truly is mean or unhealthy. If someone gets upset with you, then they expected something. It was not a true ask to begin with but an implied expectation that you would do what they want. Recently, I kept delaying plans with someone for months. I finally decided to move forward on my own in lieu of waiting more; I said no to a group outing and, instead, will now excitedly embark on an individual adventure that I am ready for. I chose to respect my time and move my worth forward. How much longer will you keep kicking a can down your lane’s road? Recycle it already!

Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.

-Albert Einstein

Learn to be comfortable with your own time alone. Find your self-worth in and of itself. It should not be given to you by anyone else or anything external. Cultivate and grow it to the point that it beams outward, bright and strong within you. It will take time and patient, caring attention, but it will be amazing and beautiful once you start to see it.

This has been a long time coming. Me, this life I’ve built, this latest version of myself. I’m not afraid to say, ‘I’m so proud of me.’ Finally certain for the first time in my life, not looking for any backup plan or validation or anyone to have my back. I got my back. I got me. And this has been a long time coming. I think maybe this is what it was all for. This moment, this life, me, finally knowing and never more sure of my worth.

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry

Doubling the worth for a win-win Wednesday. Have you ever wondered… about pre-chewing your food? It is a recent concept that I have thought of. Maybe others talk about it, too. I do not know. Now, though, I enjoy taking the time to prepare my meal more. Cutting up pieces into smaller, bite-sized chunks. Blending the flavors altogether. Doing some of the prep work for my teeth before it even enters my mouth. I know I do not slow down and chew enough, so this preemptive step proves worthwhile for my digestive system since it still receives the benefit of fewer unwieldy pieces to break down.

Try it. You might like it. What is it worth to you?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :)

Mournday – 022425

I mourn for all of the chronic pessimists out there. Why throw pity parties when you can proceed down your lane in a positivity parade? Wave your pom-poms proudly. I get it. Times can be tough. We can sometimes feel worthless if we let the outside world affect and infect us so severely. Why do you let all of those external events set your mood and influence your tone, though? Can you focus on tuning your channel to what you truly care about instead? Can you better control your mindset and thoughts regardless of what may be going on around you? If others in your midst are negative and downtrodden, must you partake in their depressing demeanor? No, you can press on passionately, and you can remind yourself of your worth. We can be confident in our knowledge. Even if others look at us like we are crazy, it does not matter. Own your truth. Move forward well. Pay as little of your mind to those opinions as possible. Haters will hate. Keep on winning.

There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.

-Mel Robbins

You do not need to flip this switch instantaneously. If you can, great. Go for it! If you need to be more practical and realistic, then take it one step at a time. What is at least one area or aspect of your life where you tend to assume the worst or a negative outcome? How can you begin to consider more than only one option? How often does the worst happen, or even a negative outcome that you fret over for that matter? Give yourself a break. Enjoy some relaxing rest. Please prioritize some worthwhile self-love and self-care.

You can’t hate yourself happy. You can’t criticize yourself thin. You can’t shame yourself worthy. Real change begins with self-love and self-care.

-Jessica Ortner

Can you best establish a new routine right when you wake up? Think about starting each new day with a kind word or two to yourself. Right now, how quickly do you grumble about your morning? Are you seeing the worth of your life when you behave negatively with a pessimistic attitude? Can you shift a self-harming practice towards a self-healing ritual instead? In my world of oversharing, these days, I thank God for as much as I can at the start of each morning and at the end of each evening. There is so much worth in each day if you learn to look for it. Are you even trying to look for it, though? The world is progressing all around us. Are you trying to actively engage with it? I certainly hope so.

It’s about waking up in the morning and saying that I’m worthy of love, belonging, and joy. It’s about engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.

-Brené Brown

Are you enjoying your pessimism? I thought I was enjoying mine when I adopted such a bad habit in the past. Now, though, I can easily see the folly of my foolishness. If I do not believe in myself and if I do not even see my own worth, then how can I honestly expect others to believe in me and see my worth? We are each responsible for our own lane. Is your lane withering and rusting, or is it vibrant and worthy? Can you let go of pessimism?

I’ve learned that the most basic fact in health care and health education is that people will take care of themselves only if they feel that they are worth taking care of. By reminding children that they are important to us, I hope that I’m helping them to develop a sense of their own uniqueness and worth so that they will take good care of themselves.

-Fred Rogers

Please take good care of yourself. I see your worth. Can you begin to see it, too? Let the past go. Whatever happened has happened. From this point forward, you can redefine your outlook with optimism or at least realism. Either is a better, worthwhile mindset.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 022225

amour propre (noun) – a sense of one’s own worth; self-respect

Do you have a good sense of your own worth? Are you critical or generous with your assessment? Do you give yourself the benefit of the doubt? Can you approach your self-evaluation more impeccably? Can you recognize that you are trying your best? If so, what will it take to move your best to an improved level today? What is at least one thing that you can do, practice, research, and/or study today to make your life more valuable? Build your worth up from the inside out. I know I said that before, yet it bears repeating.

True self-worth isn’t built on what people declare about you, but on what you demonstrate to yourself.

-Jay Shetty

I was very amused earlier this week when I was suddenly stopped in my tracks while listening to a book summary. One of the key points had a title of “Your worth isn’t in the mirror.” How many of us need to hear that and possibly put it on repeat? Your authentic worth does not appear in a physical or visual reflection. True and valuable worth exists on the inside. You see it through reflections of character and deeds. Indeed, it is not some surface-level quality. Think of the story of Aladdin. Was the greatest, most worthwhile treasure just inside the entrance to the Cave of Wonders? No. It was in the depths, at the central core of it all. Where should you start looking next for your diamond in the rough?

Remember, your worth is not the number on the scales or how you look in the mirror. It’s about understanding that your body is strong, capable, and deserving of love just as it is.

-Timothy Ferriss

We do not fix ourselves by wishing away what is. We fix ourselves by taking a clear look at the current state of things. Then, we begin to focus in on one or two things to work on. Instantaneous results are either fallacies or short-lived. Each day may get tougher than the last, but, if you are doing your best, then you are proving your worth. It is literally impossible for us to fix everything in one day. Anything worthwhile should not be accessed via a shortcut anyway. The way to self-worth is persistent and aware effort. Eventually, you can look back and see all the strides that you made. Feel your worth. Work for and with your worth. Trust me please. If you start, it will prove worthwhile.

At the end it’s not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished. It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back.

-Denzel Washington

Worth is not meant to be self-contained. Self-worth is your well of energy to draw upon in order to help yourself and those around you. If you do not have or feel much self-worth, then you will not have or feel as much willingness to help others. We can best help others by first helping ourselves. It is not selfish. It is a worthy act of self-love.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 022025

I am thankful for many of the monks out there in the world; they prove that it is possible to put aside the desire for material and physical gains and possessions. They can devote and dedicate their life and their work to a higher purpose, defining and finding a sense of self-worth that transcends earthly ideas and ideals. They shore up their worth internally.

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that.

-Robin Williams

Think about how far back the role of monks go in the history of humanity. Almost 2,000 years. In this modern day and age, I do not think that such a practice is sustainable for everyone, at least anytime soon if ever. However, we can still learn plenty from monks. We can be thankful for the lessons that they teach and the guidance that they give. Ponder upon what drew them to such a lifestyle and practice. I have ideas as well as answers in some specific cases, and they run the range of possibilities. That is also a beauty of self-worth; there is no one-size-fits-all answer for it. Which fits you best, though? That is what matters. Feel your best; feel worthwhile. Then, share it with others, and help them when and where you can please. I believe that will be a worthy path.

Thou art even as a finely tempered sword concealed in the darkness of its sheath and its value hidden from the artificer’s knowledge. Wherefore come forth from the sheath of self and desire that thy worth may be made resplendent and manifest unto all the world.

-Bahá’u’lláh

Many monks excel at setting aside their selves, and this idea will not make sense to many currently. I think it feels foreign and scary to most people. I did not understand it as easily in the past as I do now. It is not easy to set aside ego, but it is worth it. We can really begin to see our full and true worth when we begin to examine our unsheathed self.

Are you willing to begin some self-examination?

What if it will stop you from more damnation?

You do not need to run off and join a monastery.

Embrace more peace and ignore anything eerie.

You can learn from them while in your own home.

That is one worth of YouTube, not some old tome.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 021625

When you define your own worth, the sky can be the limit. Actually, you can aim even higher. Shoot for the stars. Or, why even stop there? What lies even further beyond, in a higher state? A sugjestion: forever fix your forecasts firmly yet flexibly for the firmament.

Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.

-Beyoncé

What are you really and truly worth? Do you define that question for yourself, or do you allow outside influences to set that value for you? I used to attach my own sense of self-worth to many external factors, and I was quite miserable back then. Now, as I possess my own strong sense of self-worth, I feel more fulfilled and overall happier in general.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

-Marcus Aurelius

Just like growth, I believe worth should be cultivated and developed from the inside out, not from the outside in. In which direction(s) are you currently expanding? Are you even expanding currently? Why or why not? Are you at least enhancing your worth? I sugjest meditating or quietly reflecting on these thoughts. True self-worth cannot be bought :)

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 021425

Be confident in your ability to love yourself and others; do not let fear win instead of cheer. There will be challenges; you can proceed through the good and the bad with a sensible surety of self. Know thyself, keep calm, and carry on with confidence. You are very loved. All emotions will come and go, but love is beautiful because it is a constant.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

I dare you to be more confident. Believe in yourself. I am not alone. Plenty of us out here see and believe in your potential. It is now time for you to do the same. Turn the page, turn over a new leaf, and accept some new beliefs, ok? People like us can share and spread beneficial and healthy levels of self-confidence for us all. I dare you to love.

Success isn’t about how your life looks to others; it’s about how it feels to you.

-Michelle Obama

Feel confident in your own being. Pave your lane with the best available materials possible. Prove your worth to your own self. Proceed in peace. Please plan personally, too. I went to the movies by myself this past weekend because there was a film out that I was curious to see. A couple months ago, I took a big trip abroad by myself. Both choices were outside my previous comfort zones, yet I stand by these decisions wholeheartedly.

Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.

-Brian Tracy

These moments can become intimidating if you stew on their what-ifs for too long. However, if you instead branch out beyond your comfort zone, you can grow your confidence greater and learn how to be even more comfortable in additional places and situations. Eventually, you can carry a nearly-constant confidence with you, but please also remember to balance it out with a healthy dose of humility. Use it to help, not hurt.

The root of true confidence grows from our ability to be in unconditional friendship with ourselves.

-Pema Chödrön

Various solo trips give me plenty of time to spend many moments in contemplative self-reflection. I can be deeply introspective while quietly observing and soaking in the world around me. The levels of comfort and confidence that I now have in and with myself have risen and expanded to amounts that I honestly did not think were possible for me before. Much of my negative self-talk is gone or is in the process of disappearing, my extreme spikes in emotions are subduing, and I am learning to be a great friend to myself now.

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

-Bertrand Russell

Once you have steeled yourself with solid confidence, you can move from a fragile home on sand to a stronghold amidst majestic mountains. You can choose to finally move on from walking on broken glass. Let your heels heal. Forge a confident path forward in your lane. Define the details of your divineness. What is your worth? Only you should say.

Whatever confronts you, don’t believe it. When something appears, shine your light on it. Have confidence in the light that is always working inside you.

-Linji Yixuan

Honestly, I could not always be proud of how I have gone through life in the past. Now, though, I can proudly, humbly, and confidently say that I lived. I am living my best life, and I am further improving it when and where I can. Can you say the same? I hope so <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 021225

Have you ever wondered… about boundaries? I have. Boundaries are meant to safeguard your sacred space. They should not impose on others, similar to how their boundaries should leave your lane and personal choices unaffected, too. Boundaries are guardrails.

One shouldn’t just hope to be treated well; one must insist on it.

-Abraham Verghese

Think about it… how can you expect people to respect your boundaries if you do not verbalize them? Therefore, boundaries present you with an opportunity to work on your confidence because you can voice which lines should not be crossed or which topics should not be broached. If someone chooses to ignore and encroach, then you have yet another chance to create more confidence by gently defending your boundary. If possible, there is no real need to be boisterous about it. You can still exude confidence while remaining calm, cool, and collected. Anything over the top may only incite petty oversteps by the poor- and paltry-minded. Stay focused confidently; you will be fine.

Confidence is not, ‘They will like me.’ Confidence instead is, ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.’

-Christina Grimmie

Y’all, I will be the first to admit that I have been notoriously bad at establishing effective boundaries in my past. I had a habit of trying to keep the peace at all costs, being a people pleaser to my own detriment at times. It was not healthy, and I am not proud of that past. I am quite glad to admit that those times have mostly passed. Speaking up for myself and confidently defending my boundaries is not always easy, but I know it maintains a safe and healthy space for me to live and thrive in. I think it is silly for us to stretch ourselves to breaking points if we continually extend beyond our boundaries.

boundaries are the most direct way for you to protect your energy.

make them clear for your sake. if they aren't, people will just keep taking more and more, not maliciously, but because they won't know when you need space or when you are feeling depleted.

creating boundaries is a proactive way of designing your life. to help maintain your inner and outer vibrancy, you must decide with clarity who and what can enter your space and when. boundaries are not about being overly strict or mean; they are about using your awareness of what is genuinely good for you to build a sanctuary that supports your growth.

in a world where there is a constant battle for your attention and a potentially overwhelming amount of information, you need proper digital and in-person boundaries to support your mental health.

-yung pueblo

Do you know your boundaries? If not, then there is a good starting point for you. How much of your time should different people be allowed to have per day, week, or month? Yes, you can truly plan for allotments if that will help you confidently live your best life.

If you fail to plan,
you plan to fail.

-Benjamin Franklin

Declare and defend your demarcations.

Reassess and update based on inspirations.

Love all your good vocations and vacations.

Stay in your lane without any deviations.

Life your life confidently as a demonstration.

Show what is possible with determination.

Flow freely through life; embrace jubilation.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 021025

I mourn for all of the sad and selfish people out there who feel that it is necessary to resort to negging. Think about it… rather than working on being their best selves, they choose to challenge and compromise the confidence of others. Instead of actively lifting themselves and others up, they drag those around them down to their despicable depths. Why be a nasty creature waiting in the mines of misery or Moria? You can choose to walk along channels of cherished confidence, planning to retire in the Shire, dames and sires.

Be humble in your confidence yet courageous in your character.

-Melanie Koulouris

I will clarify an important aspect. Choosing to be intentionally hurtful towards someone with blatant lies is the problem with negging. Choosing to be blunt with constructive criticism can be entirely different. One is sharing valuable truths that can be tricky to stomach while the other one is deceiving with falsities. In my humble opinion, I think tough love can be valid and warranted at times. Negging does not originate from an authentic place of true love. It exists due to selfish and corrupt ideas of love. Tough love can hurt, but it allows confidence to be built back stronger because a weakness can be identified and then improved upon. Are you ready and willing to put in that work, though?

I think the best way to have confidence is not to allow everyone else’s insecurities to be your own.

-Jessie J

Do not be a shell or an empty husk of your true self. Haters will hate. They will try to bring us down to their level. It is easier to be compliant when we are not confident. Be your best self, and ignore the other noise as best as you can. Avoid nothingness please.

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.

-Aristotle

Do not allow anyone else to negate your inner light. Please propagate it for the positive people. There are plenty of us here, ready and waiting to cultivate collective confidence.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 020825

jaunty vs. diffident

jaunty (adjective) – having or expressing a lively and self-confident manner; smartly trim; a stylish or spirited confidence

diffident (adjective) – lacking confidence in one’s own ability, worth, or fitness; timid; shy; restrained or reserved in manner, conduct, etc.

Embody feeling jaunty; avoid unnecessary flaunties.

Make a difference; avoid diffidence.

When you are confident, you need less validation.

You can proceed without external confirmation.

Trust your gut.

Skip the ruts.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

However, remember to toe the very fine line

between what is benign and what is malign.

You may not always be nice to all whom you cross.

Tough love can be rough but you may need to toss

Constructive feedback to help others grow.

At least you confidently chose to show.

Did they listen, or did they contract?

We do not control how they react.

May your steps be filled with pep.

May you be the universe’s great rep.

Life will test you plenty, probably daily.

Put the wind behind you; fill your sailies.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 020625

I am thankful for the rap god among many mere mortals. Whether a mockingbird or the monster, Eminem has established himself as a confident mainstay within the realm of rap music. To gauge your own confidence, I sugjest asking yourself, “if you had one shot or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?” You can still be confident in yourself even if your palms are sweaty, your knees are weak, and your arms are heavy. It shows that you care about what you do.

Confidence is the only key. I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be [themself].

-Emma Stone

At the same time, please do not be afraid to ask for help. After all, we all may cry out on occasion, “somebody save me.” A lot of confidence is also required whenever you choose to be vulnerable and authentic. Marshall Mathers III has been his mostly-unapologetic and true self across the decades. We have watched him hone and master his craft each and every time. He has confidently and courageously persevered through some very dark and troubling times in his past. He is a composed and compelling rapper. Why else does he have the record for most words in a hit single? Em rises to the challenges, confidently.

The confidence I now have is rooted in the discovery that who I am is okay.

-Dudley Moore

Think about the lack of precedence here. He broke into a space that has been historically dominated by black artists. Listen to the interviews by Dr. Dre, showing how impressed and surprised he was by Eminem. One person’s confidence shored up another’s. He not only stayed in the rap scene; Eminem began to lead and redefine the genre repeatedly.

I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done.

-Robert Downey, Jr.

If you are confident, then you do not need to love the way you lie. Owning your truth creates more self-confidence; then, this way, you do not have a need for any magic tricks like Houdini. Emotions will come and go each and every day. They are all temporary. Confidence can be a constant if you continue to cultivate it courageously. Do not let it blind you, but believe in yourself please. As for the real Slim Shady, I am very thankful that he confidently stood up. He never gave up on his childhood dream. Look at him now.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 020225

Do you believe in yourself? How much doubt do you possess? Confidence is critical in order to dance through life as smoothly and effectively as possible. Like a snowball, we can start small and let our self-confidence accumulate slowly with each action that augments the aggregate. Soon enough, you may need to balance out an avalanche.

Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too.

-David Storey

Rise to a challenge. Prove your self-worth. If you have strengthened your fortitude, then you can tap into a strong knowing of self that lends itself well towards a healthy level of confidence. Self-awareness enables you to recognize your rational potential. It allows you to stretch to full capacity within your lane. Self-confidence is a worthy trait to cultivate. Stay mindful, though, of how it can be easily corrupted into narcissism if you do not manage it vigilantly. Similarly, lacking an appropriate amount of confidence delivers a defeating and downgrading deluge of dreadful doubt. You are not very helpful to anyone if you feel down and out, so use your clout and your best next step to figure your life out.

Doubt can motivate you, so don’t be afraid of it. Confidence and doubt are at two ends of the scale, and you need both. They balance each other out.

-Barbra Streisand

Life will not always be easy. We all face tests during difficult moments. Some may be simple while others will be complex. We may be able to foresee certain ones on the horizon. Meanwhile, a swift tribulation may sneak up on us without any hesitation. Will you let many of them overwhelm you, or will you confidently captain your ship? Will you steer onward with determination or only cry out in shock, as if facing eternal damnation?

Our lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty. The difficulty comes from our lack of confidence.

-Seneca

Confidence assures you of your skill sets. I like reminding myself that I can slow down and identify at least my best next step. In addition, we each have a choice as to which script we subscribe to and follow along with in our own head, heart, and soul. Do we listen to the negative noise, or do we empower a positive mindset in order to rise up and face the challenges of life in healthy and meaningful ways, benefitting us all? I sugjest considering at least two sides to anything in order to commence contesting confidence.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 013125

All you need is a little love.

Be strong, and let your heart keep on beating.

Do not give in to any defeating

because life can be quite quick and fleeting.

Grow your circle with new meetings.

Flex your brain with warm greetings.

Anger can be rather depleting

if you fan the flames with too much heating.

Keep the good; toss out and fix the bad; do some weeding.

After that step, switch to healthy seeding.

Sow virtues, mantras, goals, and dreams.

Let positivity burst forth from your seams.

Let the cream rise to the top; avoid negative and hurtful memes.

You can build yourself up, or you can break yourself down.

Which do you choose, sugjester or clown?

Do you control your emotions, or do they control you?

Therein lies the key to fortitude.

Peacefully, I bid you adieu.

Fortitude is victory.

-Oliver Goldsmith

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 012925

Have you ever wondered… about mantras? I have. I use them a lot, probably multiple times each and every day. They are truths for you to hold near and dear whenever a mental reset may be needed to course correct a current current of emotions that may have derailed you from your fortress of fortitude. Mantras can guide you back to your North Star, your best path forward in each and every moment. You can reference existing ones, or you can make your own based on what resonates best with you at your core.

Fortitude is a great help in distress.

-Plautus

For me, the guardrails are some of my favorite mantras. I recently reduced them all to a single word as a fun and silly exercise to exercise my brain and creativity some when it amused me: impeccable, impersonal, imassumptive, and iminopportune. I fully recognize that they get rather weird by the end, but I like the paved pattern. It promotes a positive permanence within my psyche now. While odd, it is easily memorable for me, too. That is the beauty of mantras. When you feel the truth of it deep within you, you know you have a gem to hold onto; you know this treasure can help you later on down the road in your lane. When times may be tough, call upon it. Allow it to settle and recenter your nerves.

Mantras exist in any and all languages. Again, you can follow along by adopting existing ones, and you can also flex your own creative muscles. Will you find or make at least one new mantra this week? I hope so, and I wish you the absolute best of luck with it :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all.

Mournday – 012725

I mourn for meatheads. They look so big and tough on the outside, but how truly strong are they on the inside? Sure, there are rare exceptions, but the bulk of them are bulky for a reason. They think a strong exterior will keep them safe and protected from what has previously hurt their interior. I know because I went through a meathead phase when I was younger. There was a time when I cared more about protein than a nutritionally-balanced diet, max weight and not maximum effort. Follow the way, not the whey.

Macho does not improve mucho.

-Zsa Zsa Gabor

We do not need to bolster more bold bravado. We could all benefit from minimizing the masochistic machismo that memorializes a mainstay among mucho macho men. What if you start lifting mental weights instead? What if you begin building your inner strength? Imagine how the different layers of your balanced and healthy being all exude fortitude.

For we are naturally disposed to admire more than anything else the [person] who shows fortitude in adversity.

-Seneca

Curb any bigorexia by embiggening your heart and brain instead. Feel more to fear less. Free yourself from the shackles of societal standards. These chains will not be broken by your physical muscles, though; this act requires fortitude. Dig deep to rediscover your divine details, rep after rep, set after set. You do not need to fully max out this mystery immediately. It is probably best to start slow and small, building up the brain in balanced and healthy ways that set yourself up for the best success across the longest time. I can certainly assure you that there is no risk of becoming sterile should you study cerebrally.

True masculinity isn’t a surface-level quality… a defining characteristic of anyone is the ability to lead with integrity and live honorably.

-Chris Raynor

Is roid rage ever referred to positively? That should probably be a clear clue as to how healthy or not such a practice is for you. Take my word, or find out the hard way, okay?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 012525

mettle vs. meddle

mettle (noun) – courage and fortitude; disposition or temperament

meddle (verb) – to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation; interfere officiously and unwantedly

Meld your mettle.

Be slow to meddle.

What is your metal?

Will you earn a medal?

Are you working on your mettle, or are you busy meddling in other lanes? Do not make excuses; do not try to justify the latter in lieu of the former. Meddling can feel more fun in the short-term, but molding your mettle enables you to better help yourself and others. Everyone will benefit from your impactful improvement instead of impeding impudence.

Fortitude… it means fixity of purpose. It means endurance. It means having the strength to live with what constrains you.

-Hilary Mantel

We may see how others can live better, but it is their choice as far as how they best manage their lane. To be fully open and honest here, I struggle with this a lot. This site gives me great practice at sharing my thoughts without involuntarily forcing my opinions on others. I benefit by building my mettle without meddling. Others also benefit from my mindful improvement. For anyone who sees this content and chooses to read it, they will learn whatever they glean. Maybe it will help them fortify fortitude, too, while fixing any fixations to try to fix others without first checking what the other person actually wants.

More mettle

Less meddle

Alchemetal

Need medal?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 012325

I wish I could share a day with Carl Jung. Even though we sadly do not have any days of life overlapping, very few people make me feel as seen or heard as this man does. To be as brilliant and accepted as he was in the scientific world, paving the way for modern psychology, he also embraced his eccentricities enthusiastically. He did not shy away from creating new concepts or exploring knowledge from any corner or community. When he persisted through periods of extreme stress, wondering if his limits were breaking at points in his life, he pushed through and pieced himself back together.

I didn’t need to get knocked down to know the fortitude that I have in me.

-Andre Ward

Carl Jung’s fortitude could go to toe-to-toe with pretty much anything and anyone. We have Carl to thank for thinking up two of my absolute favorite terms:

individuation and synchronicity

Individuation – the idea that we each can and should become our best self. We are not living here for the purpose of blending or fitting into a common mold. No, we should each explore and embellish our individual identities. As an exquisite alchemical metaphor, Carl alluded to impure souls as lead and perfected souls as gold. I wonder how many golden souls exist. Have you considered the color of your character?

Synchronicity – when you see enough things interconnect and interrelate, there comes a point where I think you are simply foolish if you keep ignoring the universe as it gently and silently shouts for your mindful presence. As I understand it, that relates to how the scenario played out between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud when they fell out. They were close colleagues and friends for quite some time, but there came a point when Carl continued on with his inner truths; Sigmund blindly and belligerently refused to consider.

Carl Jung was so strong in his resolve that he carried his field of study forward all by himself. I am so very thankful for his fortified fortitude. It forecasts the powerful potential we all possess. Sometimes it is those nearest and dearest to us that can test and forge our finest fortitude. It can be lonely paving our own path, but it can also be very fulfilling.

Fix in your mind to overcome all obstacles. When you truly determine this, the dawn will start to appear.

-Lincoln Patz

Another of my favorite people who I will more than likely write about in the future is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. In his younger and poorer years, he curiously attended a free lecture about the trauma of Europeans post-WWII. Who was his lecturer? Carl Jung.

Carl’s fortitude is so strong that you can watch an interview with him later in life where the interviewer asks him if he still believes in God. He answers no because he knows. He does not need to believe when he already knows that God is real. Some people will scoff at this like Sigmund did, and that is each person’s choice within their lane. How well does that decision sit with you, though, at your core? Will you stop and listen long enough?

To accuse others for one’s own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one’s education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one’s education is complete.

-Epictetus

How are you doing as of late? Are you distracted and scattered by this and that? Do you want to continue maintaining an unwhole personality, or do you want to strengthen and solidify your singular self? It requires steadfast fortitude to fully accept and integrate your entire being. Only then can you best proceed, acknowledging all parts while not acting on it all. Providing progress in the best, healthy way for yourself and all others.

In closing, I also appreciate how thorough and meticulous Carl was with leaving behind plenty of his written works. I will be working through a lot of his ideas slowly but surely for many more years. What will you work through to fine-tune your fortitude?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 011925

It takes a deep and profound level of strength to stare directly at an issue or a problem and face it without batting an eye. What comes to mind for you when you think about fortitude? Is it a strong person capable of lifting heavy weights? That was frequently a prior misconception of this word for me. My education continues alongside these posts.

It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.

-J.R.R. Tolkien

Fortitude has nothing to do with physical strength. Fortitude relates to your inner strengths. How strong are you emotionally and mentally? I would also advocate for spiritual strength as well here. When your hand in life is dealt with danger, difficulty, or temptation, are you quick to simply cave in, quit, or run away? Or, do you have skills and mindsets to rely on that you have slowly and progressively trained over time? It is naive for us to only wish for nothing but good times in our lives. We will face challenges. I often face multiple challenges daily. Will we quickly crumble and fall apart in those moments, or can we keep calm and carry on courageously because we have fine-tuned fortitude?

Fortitude is a main discussion point in many religions. Are they all wrong, or is it one of the common threads that we all should be able to agree upon? I believe that we should all work on being strong in mind, body, and soul. What will you work on strengthening?

Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.

-Michelle Obama

Change out your next breakdown for a breakaway instead. You can choose to let something affect you adversely, or you can flip the script, restoring your harmony.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 011725

In 1814, hundreds of thousands of gallons of beer broke through a wall of a brewery and lethally disrupted a wake with yet more death. Eight people were killed that day by beer, and they were not even trying to consume alcohol. Three were five years old or younger. Wooden vats were slowly phased out as the storage mechanism for concentrated brews as a result of this unfortunate event in England. It is recorded as the London Beer Flood.

In 1919, more than two million gallons of molasses made up waves as tall as 40 feet that moved as fast as 35 miles per hour through the streets of Boston. The devastating deluge destroyed buildings and claimed 21 lives. Unfortunately, many people actually were slower than molasses then. This accident killed people because the storage vat was not built appropriately with thick-enough walls. It is known as the Great Molasses Flood.

How about the OceanGate debacle two years ago? I do not want to unpack this recent tragedy any further than I need to because the lunacy of it upsets me deeply. Guess what, though? The hull or shell was once again not thick enough to perform optimally under pressure.

The only real danger that exists is man himself.
He is the great danger…
we are the origin of all coming evil.

-Carl Jung

Think about it personally. How much pressure can you pack into yourself before exploding? What if you practiced temperance instead? Then, from such a state of even balance and control, you have room to spare on both sides when you start to get too drained or too filled. It is important to adequately manage your surface pressure.

Most things that stay under too much pressure for too long often produce poor results. I know they say no pressure, no diamonds, but there has to be a temperate balance to the process. You need to first train and temper a shell that is made hard enough to handle all that life may inevitably throw at you. Just because you have thick skin, though, does not mean you should not still have a soft and gooey center. Finding a sweet balance between the two is key. You should be able to continue caring for yourself and others deeply and truly while also remaining unaffected by any and all external influences and persuasions.

A tried-and-tested level of proven self-control. Steering yourself as best as you can in the best direction for your lane in the ways that are best for you and your progress. Know when to press a pressure release valve to let off some steam, and also know when to build up the pressure inside if you are starting to run dry. Temperance is about toeing the finest line of possible perfection that we are capable of. Will we be perfect? No. Should we stop striving for it? Also no. We should fine-tune the balance, and we should start by strengthening our exterior shells while maintaining a polite permeability as permitted.

Temperate temperance is best;
intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.

-Mark Twain

And hey, even now, when I still watch a good movie, I can single-handedly stomach an entire bucket of popcorn during that sitting. Like any good thing in life, there is a best time and a best place for it all. I hope you will tread towards temperancy terrifically.

May you master your tempests and weather your storms with strength and ease.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 011525

Have you ever wondered… about mindful eating? I have. If you look around in most places, you will see a lot of mindless eating. I did plenty of it in my past, and I still notice myself slipping into such a state on occasion. Noticing and adjusting it is what matters.

When is the last time that you stopped and simply smelled all of your food before digging in? Have you participated in a blessing prior to a plate at any point as of late?

Have you ever whispered words of intention or positive affirmations to your food before each bite? I know how weird that may sound, but I am a big fan. I do not practice this approach constantly, but I do try to make it a point with at least each of my apples.

Practice mindful eating – eat slowly and concentrate during meals to better recognize hunger and fullness signals.

-Gary Taubes

Mindful eating is a helpful practice to motivate moderation. As you learn more about nutrition facts and true serving sizes, you become more informed and better able to make wiser choices to best take care of your body. Now, I diet more strictly than most people because of the beliefs that I hold. For example, I avoid noxious roots (like garlic and onions) because Buddhists believe they interfere with healthy inhibitions. I try to make the best, morally-sound decisions as often as possible. I want to maintain temperance.

Have you considered how healthy some of the processed foods or sugary drinks are based on their color alone? Just today, the FDA finally banned red dye number 3 from all foods because it has been a known carcinogen for a long time. The government is very slow to act at times. Do you want to wait for them to try to save your life years too late, or do you want to begin mindfully eating what you know is best for you? Clean slate.

Health consists with temperance alone.

-Alexander Pope

Temperance curbs those cravings and temptations. I have a wicked sweet tooth; I used to be a fiend for Sour Patch Kids. I miss eating them some, but I value feeling much healthier more. My teeth are happier with the decision, too. This is only one example of what all is possible when you slow down and deliberately decide on what you consume and what you do not consume. Both are important decisions because you can either help build your body back up, or you can slowly break it down. In which direction do you want to trend?

By being more mindful of what you’re eating, you’re able to break unhealthy patterns.

-Khloe Kardashian

I can even recall nights when I would eat an entire bag of Sun Chips in one evening. Do you think I ever felt truly fulfilled after any of those instances? No, I felt yet more guilt and shame. Reflecting back on my past patterns now and seeing how far I have progressed on my own journey feels significant suddenly. I still catch myself mindlessly gorging on something from time to time, but I am quicker to recognize and correct such actions and missteps in my lane, and that feels sublime. Chew on that concept for a moment please.

While we are on a related topic, have you ever wondered about how we can sustainably feed the growing world population for a mindful and healthier future? Andy Jarvis has.

I hope you will mindfully eat this food for thought.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all.

Mournday – 011325

This post has required the strongest practice of temperance from me this cycle because of how my blood begins to boil each time I dig deeper into the dreadful details. Today, I mourn for the victims of recent, senseless, and intemperate attacks – the New Year’s Day atrocity in New Orleans as well as the Christmas market horror in Germany only days before the actual holiday. These two insurgent individuals, who I will not even name here, both committed the worst action imaginable. Why ever take the life of another?

Temperance is moderation in the things that are good and total abstinence from the things that are foul.

-Frances E. Willard

What true god asks for the willful and random killing of innocents? God says to not kill, so what makes these actions acceptable? Nothing. Nothing at all makes these angered and irrational actions acceptable. Temperance exited the equation. Extremist groups are some of the most excessively intemperate entities to exist. Frankly, they feel inhumane.

Take care not to feel towards the inhuman, as they feel towards men.

-Marcus Aurelius

How can we balance out these drastic extremes? How can we restore temperance across the board? We can be too cold, and we can be too hot. Living at one end or the other for too long will increase the likelihood of similar catastrophes. What if we increase our own awareness for how often we incite such incendiary ideas? What if we begin to better control our own thoughts and actions in order to improve our own lives as well as the lives of all of those around us? I firmly believe, wholeheartedly, that we have no need to ever use our weapons (guns, cars, etc.) for an unspeakable and possibly-unforgivable act.

Their final judgment awaits beyond, but I fear for their safety and well-being in their next life. I will temper those thoughts by bringing my empathy back to those who deserve it so much more- the families and loved ones of the victims who are all now reeling from recent events. May each of you find solace in knowing that justice will be served. May you eventually even out from an extreme that you may be feeling currently. More wrongs will not make anything right. Let us each shine a light on our internal fight to find and fuel our own temperance as best as we can. I believe in a better world, a freer and fairer one, where we can fear each other less and love one another more. It is why I write, and it is why I refuse to ever give up. I will forever strive for best success as temperately as I can.

Temperance to be a virtue must be free,
and not forced.

-C.A. Bartol

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.