Have you ever wondered… about kintsugi? I have. It is a Japanese art form known as golden joinery or golden repair. Rather than throwing out a bowl, cup, or plate as soon as it breaks, they turn it into an art project. I think that is so lovely. They spend the time and invest the effort and energy into restoring it whole. The end result is a unique ceramic that still serves its intended purpose. It is truly one-of-a-kind now as it has golden seals holding it altogether again.
When we break, we should turn ourselves into an art project, too. Art exists as a therapy practice or style after all, and I believe that we should work on restoring ourselves whole. It takes plenty of time, effort, and energy, but what else out there deserves it more than us? We can have countless cracks and breaks; I know I do, both literal and metaphorical. The amount of scars that I have accumulated across my body are hopefully more than most. I say that because I hope others have not struggled as much as me. If you have, though, I am sorry, but we have more opportunities to practice kintsugi! What an exciting shift in perspective there! We can be even better at putting ourselves back together.
No man steps into the same river twice; for it is not the same river, and he is not the same man.
-Heraclitus
We will never look the same as we once did, and I do not think we should anyway. Life is about learning and growing, developing and changing. We forgive and forge ahead; we find our cracks, and we fix them. We shine light upon our issues and line them in gold.
There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.
-Leonard Cohen
We can also ask for help with it through medicine, meditation, relaxation, or therapy. Kintsugi does not have to be practiced alone. Plenty of people are ready and willing to help others live their best life possible. Some people even try to help when the cracked or broken are not yet ready to heal or mend themselves. That can be a tough lesson, too. Yet it can all start anew right here and right now with forgiveness. Bid the past adieu. Identify your breaks and cracks. Begin to pour gold into them; behold a new, true you.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love.
There’s only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to do it.
And there’s only one time it will happen: when they decide they’re ready.
-Lori Deschene
Are you happy with your life in fragmented pieces?
Are you ready to mold and meld it back together?
Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.