Have you ever wondered… about radical honesty? I have. It is a term that involves committing to living a life with no lies. Some people spin the idea of little white lies as being “harmless” or in someone’s benefit. You cannot truly prove that, though. You are making excuses to justify your actions. What kind of world would we live in if we only ever hear what we think we want to hear? We often need to hear something honest and true. What if you have the opportunity to help shake some sense into someone else?
I’d rather get bad news from an honest [person] than lies from a flatterer.
-Ursula K. Le Guin
However, there is such a thing as taking any practice to an extreme. Learn how to fine-tune an honest balance in order to avoid being stubborn to a fault. Do not adopt a stance of radical honesty as a means to say whatever you want under a guise of honesty. It does not matter if what you are about to say is honest if it will be detrimental to someone else. You can choose to stay silent. You can be honest with yourself internally while wisely choosing to not impart that idea upon someone else unless they invite the honesty.
I will begin to speak, when I have that to say which had not better be unsaid.
-Cato the Younger
Not every moment needs to be filled with noise. Honest silence can be golden. You can choose to not respond to everything, especially if your honest answer is not helpful. On the other side of that coin, you do not need to feel compelled to respond to someone in a way that you think they want to hear. What if that forced and faked response sets them up for failure down the road? Do you ever wonder about the ripple effect caused by your honesty or dishonesty? Which do you think provides more favorable results in the end?
Being nice often entails putting up a dishonest front, so you don’t hurt people’s feelings.
-Dr. Aziz Gazipura
If anything, I highly sugjest practicing radical honesty with yourself. You can feel free to help others if they honestly ask for your assistance and you think your next words will add value to their life and lane. By turning the idea of radical honesty inward, you can stop deluding and distracting yourself from the lies that you have been holding onto and telling yourself. Break free of the vicious cycle that your dishonest self-talk can easily perpetuate. Accept an honest level of accountability that opens you up to more curiosity and opportunities for deeper levels of connectedness, both with yourself and with others.
Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?
-Marcus Aurelius
Honestly ask yourself the following – which of these approaches will benefit me more in the long-run: working on improving myself, which is entirely within my control, or harping on others for more change, which they may or may not even try, let alone stick to? Be radically honest with yourself; be generous and benevolent in your actions with others.
Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Honestly, stay wondrous, y’all :) <3