I mourn for all the people who have tuned out their partners and loved ones. Why do you no longer listen? Why have you voluntarily chosen to exist on an island all alone? We all want to feel seen and heard, and we all deserve to be seen and heard. Therefore, we should all see and hear everyone around us. It can be hard sometimes, but it is worth it. Tune back in. Listen with curiosity. Choose a new reply. React less, and respond more.
Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.
-James 1:19 (Bible)
If someone gets exasperated because you are not listening, do you really think it is wise to become exasperated in return? No, it is a bad habit that we should recognize and resist. We feel the uncomfortable and combative tug of our shadow because they are correct. Guilt or shame is stepping in and steering briefly because they have a point. If we are not listening, then we should stop and listen. It sounds so simple and easy, yet how many of us struggle with this step routinely? Do not underestimate its sneaky subtlety.
Don’t underestimate the power of mindful listening. It’s the key to constructive communication.
-Jay Shetty
Show your love by listening well. Feel their love by how well they listen. If they are tuned out, then gently ask for the same respectful behavior to be reciprocated if you are already doing your best for them. We can and should all be held accountable for effective and active listening. A polite nudge or reminder from time to time will help us hone this habit.
When you listen well to what your partner is saying, you are actually saying that you care.
-Theresa Miller
There is so much for us to listen to and learn from. I know all too well how easy it is to get stuck in one’s own head. I continue to slowly learn over time, though, how much more rewarding it is to engage more with my environment, to actively immerse myself in and listen to my surroundings. Even yesterday, brief and random lyrics from a car’s speakers driving by brought a wide grin to my face. Hearing different squeaks and chirps of critters made me happy. By investing active effort in turning down the volume of my thoughts in order to better tune in to everything around me, I feel immense gratitude and excitement.
I’ve learned about the poetry and the wisdom and the grace that can be found in the words of people all around us when we simply take the time to listen.
-Dave Isay
It does not take much to fulfill our basic needs. Do we need more stuff, or do we simply want to connect with one another? Do you want your words to be truly appreciated and felt, or do you enjoy talking to blank stares and glazed eyes? Stop talking if there is a phone screen in between. Leave devices behind if you want to be fully present for a conversation with a friend or loved one. Make a concerted effort to connect and listen.
The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen.
-Rachel Naomi Remen
When we connect with other humans, we feel support and encouragement that enables us to feel empowered and equipped to tackle anything that life may throw at us. If others give you time and attention by listening well, then it is only balanced and fair to give the same in exchange. If we all tune in more and listen better, then the amount of healing we can share and spread will be significant and life-changing, unlike anything we often see.
With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing.
-Catherine Doherty
It does not take much. Determined focus. Active presence. Mindful commitment. Be here and now. What do you hear now? What can you tune in to and respond to authentically, compassionately, graciously, honestly, insightfully, lovingly, meaningfully, and sincerely?
Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.