Have you ever wondered… about the third thing? I have. Marcus Aurelius talked about it. Truly, though, we should only focus on and wonder about the first two things. First, what do we see as our best next action step? Second, will we do it? Those are the only two pieces that honestly matter. How often, though, do we get sidetracked or frustrated by the idea that someone else should appreciate and/or respect us for that thing we did?
The more things a [person] is ashamed of, the more respectable [they are].
-George Bernard Shaw
Do you want to waste more time wondering why you are not being acknowledged or commended, or can you spend that time actually listening to and learning from others? How often are we too busy in our own heads that we miss many golden opportunities unfolding all around us? Once again, we should respect ourselves and others more by actively engaging in even more moments with mindful awareness and presence. Then, we can offer more presents to others while also receiving more ourselves. The random and unexpected compliments that I have received in recent weeks and months from people have regularly surprised and delighted me in healthy and humbling ways.
One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
-Bryant H. McGill
You deserve to be respected, taken seriously, and recognized for your hard work.
-Vanessa Van Edwards
If you follow the fourth guardrail and do your best, then I believe you do deserve respect. How respectful is it, though, to demand it? That is petty and selfish which I would argue is not your best behavior. Respect yourself enough to be at peace with whatever amount of respect you see and receive from others. Mind you, please do not tolerate repetitive disrespect. If you need to peacefully cut ties with someone, then do so. Have enough respect for yourself to not put yourself in a similar kind of disrespectful situation again.
A good idea is to behave well to other people, show them respect, and help them as much as you possibly can, and it will be repaid hundredfolds.
-Emilia Harper
Your actions will be rewarded (or punished if they are not positive) in due time. By focusing on your best next step, you can build up even more potential for plentiful productivity. You could also spin your wheels with asking or demanding others to recognize and respect your past actions, but those trite and trivial focuses are lackluster and lagging farces. Why waste energy waiting when you could be improving further?
There is no respect for others without humility in one’s self.
-Henri-Frédéric Amiel
Even earlier today, I held the door open for someone during my walk back from lunch. I do not think they responded to or acknowledged me or my action in any way, shape, or form. It helped me realize how I still look for the third thing from time to time. Instead of being disappointed by looking for or expecting more, I would rather be pleasantly surprised by gratitude if already proceeding contentedly with my day, simply doing the best next thing I can do. It is a subtle and seemingly simple shift that feels super strong.
Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay wondrous, y’all :) <3