Can I BE any sadder? That is how I feel whenever I process the fact that Matthew Perry is no longer with us. It takes a lot of courage and humility to fully and truly admit your struggles and shortcomings to those around you. Now magnify that pressure with the whole world watching. The life of an addict can be very harmful, but it can also be extremely humbling. The comeback story arc proves the potential of any and all humans.
It is no great thing to be humble when you are brought low; but to be humble when you are praised is a great and rare attainment.
-Bernard of Clairvaux
What do you think held him back from asking for help for so long? Pride? Shame? Guilt? A vicious collection or combo of those plus who knows what else? Humility can open the door to healing and wholeness. When we are humble, we can recall all of the similarities that we share with one another. After all, I believe we carry more similar characteristics and details among us than the few differences that we often tend to focus on. Might the words be different from time to time? Yes, but the friendly feelings are still the same.
God is everywhere – you just have to clear your channel, or you’ll miss it.
-Matthew Perry
Humility can help us ask others for help. We do not have to navigate all of life on our own; we thrive best collectively. Most people are not mind-readers, so they often simply support your system for your lane. Some may only help when asked. So, humbly, ask.
Humility, I have learned, must never be confused with meekness. Humility is being open to the ideas of others.
-Simone Sinek
Matthew carried such weight on his shoulders for so long. His struggle showcases how often we look for answers outside, seeking a simple solution beyond ourselves to “make it all better” or “make it go away.” That is not how life works, though. Life humbles us as we learn to put in the challenging and difficult yet very rewarding work of introspection. By correcting and improving our past mistakes and prior errors, we figure out how to be of greater service. As such, I do not believe that seeking another substance is the way.
All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for.
-Jon Kabat-Zinn
We all need a strong support system. It is one of the central perks of humanity. Regardless of how often we meet at the same coffee shop or not, we need Friends.
Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.