Have you ever wondered… about Tonglen? I have. Tonglen is a style of Buddhist meditation that cultivates compassion in one’s life. It stands for giving and taking or sending and receiving. Tonglen gives you a chance to do your part to help those around you, and it only takes a bit of your time. It provides you with an opportunity to send some love to selflessly care for others. You can receive the practice at a dedicated time or ad hoc whenever a need for it arises. Be flexible with it; practice Tonglen compassionately.
The main focus of this practice is to breathe in the pain, suffering, and troubles of others before breathing out compassion for that person or people. You transform that negativity within your soul fire. By burning up the burdens and recycling it into repaid positivity, you provide nonverbal, compassionate company for those in need. We notice those around us and their struggles, so we feel part of the struggles as a way to ease the weight off their back and as a way to reassure them that they are not alone. We are all in this together.
True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it.
-Daniel Goleman
Tonglen meditation reminds us of that fact as we compassionately care for those in need. If you are in need at a particular time, then channel the focus inward. That approach may be the best way to start this practice if your current compassion compartment is compact.
Allow your breath work to convert the heaviness into lightness. We each face this choice – will you stew in your sewer thoughts, or will you burn them away and revel in revealed joy? On each inhale, take in something bothersome; build it back better with each exhale.
I had an insight recently when noticing my mood darken one evening. I was having a very good day, so what changed? My own thoughts and how they began to distract me from the present moment. I started paying attention to frivolous, futuristic what-if scenarios that had no business playing out in my head. I bottled those thoughts together, burnt them up, and backtracked to the generally-positive vibe that I had been holding. After stopping those unnecessary thoughts in their tracks, I switched my focus back to what appreciations I was holding that day. I practiced Tonglen without even realizing it at first.
Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.
-Pema Chödrön
Compassion goes both ways. Care for yourself, and care for others. Find balance here.
Share your love with yourself and with all around.
Stop comparing; start equating. We are all equal.
Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.
-Pema Chödrön
We can form a Love Generation.
Start with some Good Vibrations.
Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.