Wondersday – 102324

Have you ever wondered… about phi? I have. Phi has many names, like the golden ratio or the divine proportion. Mathematically, if you break something up into two parts, then the ratio between the whole and the bigger part should be the same as the ratio between the bigger part and the smaller one. That is phi put simply. Between two people in love, it reflects a harmonious relationship. Phi represents unity and pure beauty, a oneness or nothingness and yet everything all at once. It encompasses perfect harmonies. While phi itself is an irrational, or unending, number, it is commonly represented as 1.618. The idea of the golden ratio dates back more than 2,200 years. It exists all around and within us.

You can see examples of this golden principle applied in practical science throughout history. Egypt’s Great Pyramid harmonizes with the ratio. How about the Mona Lisa painting? Also golden. Countless examples exist across the universe. In the natural world, leaves and nautilus shells are common references that exemplify this idea.

We live and grow in a spiral universe, where, like the nautilus, growth is a radial and linear series of expansions and connections. This universal concept is known as the golden ratio.

-LeAura Alderson

This concept has even been applied to measure the harmonies of facial structures and body composition. How proportional are all of your parts? The bigger takeaway should be focusing on and measuring internal harmony. Do you feel like all of your bodily systems are functioning in harmony? Recognizing imbalances serves as a first sign of areas where you can grow and improve to better harmonize with all of your surroundings.

Are you spiraling upward or downward?

Are your spirals expanding or contracting?

Do you feel golden or olden?

One famous Swiss architect, Le Corbusier, applied these harmonic principles to his various designs. He believed in the mathematical order of the universe, once detailing it all as “rhythms apparent to the eye and clear in their relations with one another. And these rhythms are at the very root of human activities. They resound in man by an organic inevitability, the same fine inevitability which causes the tracing out of the Golden Section by children, old men, savages, and the learned.” It is something that we can all agree on.

Phi is closely tied to the Fibonacci sequence, but I will leave that exciting topic alone for a future post. I wonder when that will be. Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Stay wondrous, y’all :)

Mournday – 102124

My heart broke last week as I read about the tragic incident involving Liam Payne. My sympathies only strengthened as I learned more about some of the underlying details. Growing up with fame at an early age rarely sets you up for success. It was disheartening to learn that the easiest strategy to secure a popular boy band was to keep them in their hotel rooms. What did lonely teenagers discover inside? Mini-bars full of alcoholic drinks.

Hatred and bitterness can never cure the disease of fear;
only love can do that.
Hatred paralyzes life;
love harmonies it.
Hatred darkens life;
love illuminates it.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

What truly harmonizes with you? What masks your current dissonances? I loved reading about how generous and active Liam was with various philanthropies. His creative spark feels genuine and real, his sense of caring for humanity authentic and true. What was his support system like? What all spurred him to spiral downward so badly and suddenly?

Harmony does not happen alone. If you need help, please reach out. There are resources readily available to help you on your journey towards rejuvenation and reharmonization. Maybe you lost the tune for a bit. Perhaps a friend, loved one, or professional can nudge you back on track, reminding you of what is important and worth fighting for. Unless I choose to give in, nobody can drag me down. Remember, many people care about you.

What makes you beautiful? Please remember these things. Regardless of what happened last week, in our memories, Liam Payne will continue to live forever.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 101924

rapprochement vs. encroachment

rapprochement (noun) – an establishment or reestablishment of harmonious relations

encroachment (noun) – an act or instance of advancing beyond proper, established, or usual limits; trespassing

Being in tune vs. out of touch

Are you establishing harmony?

It may not always be much

Build your symphony.

Being a solo artist can get old.

Resisting many urges to fold.

Remembering to be bold.

More warmth, less cold.

Consider the emphasis in the first definition above on also being able to reestablish or restore harmonious relations. How often do we lose sight of this opportunity? We may stick to an old tune that does not harmonize well with all that surrounds us. Can we control the things we should be harmonizing with, or can we change our own tune to better flow and vibe with everything else? What new tune best harmonizes you soon?

Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat.

-Audre Lorde

Are you encroaching on your own existence?

Do you encroach on others,

stepping on or in their lanes,

without invitation or permission?

How has that worked out for you?

Is it time to try something new by changing your tune to bring harmony finally?

Rapprochement.

Recommendation.

What will you lose?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 101724

With harmony in mind, I want to express a general thankfulness for all music. I have yet to discover a style of it that I cannot appreciate on at least some level. While all music may not resonate on the same plane or in a similar fashion, it is a pure form of creation. We collaborate and collect through various vibrations. We can create many harmonies.

We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.

-Roald Dahl

Music serves as an easy entrypoint to encouraging harmony. Do you want to deal with dissonance, or do you prefer harmonious melody? The choice is simple for me; it entices me to expand my exploration of the concept. What other areas of my life are currently dissonant? How can I better harmonize with my surroundings, both internally and externally? How well am I listening to my own body as well as to those around me? Some things we hear will not be relevant to us, at least on a literal level; we have the choice to determine which harmonies best resonate with us. We can feel what flows.

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary.

-Martin Luther

Similarly, life ebbs and flows. We have happy moments and sad moments, joyous occasions and upsetting events. Music serves as a sounding board for me; I want to dance to upbeat jams when I feel good, and I prefer soothing instrumental tracks when I am trying to relax. The reinforcements allow me to tune back in to better and fuller harmonies with all that I am, do, and interact with. Are you aware of your harmonies? Do you stack them atop one another, or is it all in disarray? It is hard to harmonize when discombobulated and frayed. Slow down, step back, and tune in more. Maybe even pray.

Music is one of the healthiest forms of transcendence and magic.

-Moby

I am very thankful for music.

It could be the first human art.

Listen to the music.

Hone your harmonies.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 101324

As you grow your view of the world and accept it compassionately, the rhythm and resonance of your surroundings strengthen to your senses. Or, rather, an increase in your senses improves your perception of identifying and immersing yourself in flow. Vibing. Harmonizing. I like considering that there is not only one way to harmonize. Instead, different and multiple ways to find and strike harmony exist. What works for you?

Man, far from being the overlord of all creation, is himself part of nature, subject to the same cosmic forces that control all other life. Man’s future welfare and probably even his survival depend upon his learning to live in harmony, rather than in combat, with these forces.

-Rachel Carson

The pace can vary. The degrees will fluctuate. When you start finding and feeling the natural harmony surrounding you, next steps may feel easier or look clearer. By living more moments in harmony within your lane and in sync with those around you, you harmonize more. Embrace those immersions in the moments. Feel the happiness fully.

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.

-Thomas Merton

To harmonize well, the first step is typically to listen. Else, how do you know what sound to build off of? If you do not register what you hear first before making your own noise, then the probable dissonance can be jarring. This skill takes practice. Grow it slowly over time, and appreciate improvements here, too. Exploring harmony is a lifelong journey.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Talk the talk.

Walk the walk.

Do not balk.

Living a fulfilling, true life involves being in harmony with your habitat. Harmony has a peaceful quiet to it, a gentle stillness that promotes calm and compassion towards all.

All lives in harmony could eventually yield unity.

When there is harmony between the mind, heart, and resolution, then nothing is impossible.

-Rig Veda

How can you grow more harmonious this week?

What flows of the world around you do you see?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 101124

One of the biggest or best ways that you can grow is by apologizing for any missteps in your past, whenever you overreached beyond your lane and negatively impacted the lane of another. You can (and probably should) apologize for your past action. There is no need to go into detail if you do not want to. However, do not seek a certain response. Your own apology recognizes your own growth. You have come to realize an error upon reasonable rumination. Responsibly reconcile your rationale to rid yourself of ridiculous repetitions of unruly reactions in order to rightfully renew you. It is not easy to own up to something in your past that you are not proud of, but if it is still on your mind from time to time, then why not grow beyond or past it finally? Even though it is not easy… it is worth it :)

every time someone
loves themselves better,
builds their self-awareness,
understands their patterns,
improves their ability to communicate,
and expands their compassion for others,
the future of humanity grows brighter.
your healing impacts the world
by bringing in new peace.

-yung pueblo

Such an apologetic action can be well beyond our starting comfort zone. I have practiced this skill a number of times at this point, and I can easily say that it gradually grew easier with each outreach and exchange. The emotional equalization that it emitted within me expands exponentially. I am eagerly enthused to educate and elucidate on this exercise.

As your comfort zone enlarges, you have more room to grow in.

Your roots can extend further. Your fruits may multiply or ripen.

Trust your gut. Let it guide you on a way to healing and growth.

your intuition will lead you outside your comfort
zone so that you can grow

-yung pueblo

What have you last created? Perhaps an email, a text message, or a meal? Have you ever stopped to consider that these things are all creations? It is an interesting insight that I certainly had not slowed down enough to appreciate and reflect upon in this way til now. This shift in perspective makes me value the consideration and effort that I pour into all of these acts. I seek to create as much beauty as I can, in what I write or type; in what I cook or do. All of life can be our art form if we but only choose to see it in such a light like I do.

Practicing an art,
no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow,
for heaven’s sake.
Sing in the shower.
Dance to the radio.
Tell stories.
Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem.
Do it as well as you possibly can.
You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

-Kurt Vonnegut

Creating something new can definitely feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. You may fumble and fail, but you can choose to not stay defeated. Try til you die. Perhaps that is my philosophy on growth. I can confidently say that I am proud of who and how I am now compared to in the past. I did the best that I knew how before, but I do better now for sure. The world around me is livelier now, too. It grows alongside me as my inner light brightens. Will I ever finish, maximize, or peak at a point on my personal growth journey? Time will tell :) I happily welcome this adventure, though, and do not tire of trying more.

Things do not
grow better;
they remain as they are.
It is we who grow better, by the changes we make in ourselves.

-Swami Vivekananda

I wish you success on your personal growth path.

My final sugjestion this cycle is to make your lane

as bright and beautiful as possible. Grow it :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 100924

Have you ever wondered… about oubaitori? I have. This Japanese word represents the idea that we all grow and blossom at our own rate and time. Flowers are not all in sync. There is no one-size-fits-all, cookie cutter style to living life. We each learn and develop individually. All of it is beautiful. Fast. Slow. Early. Late. It all works well. It is productive growth at the end of the day, even if your growth looks different than that of all those around you. Focus on growing your lane. Do not inhibit others from growing theirs. Watch the beauty bloom. Take delight in the sight of all the growing wonder.

In the middle of the night, things well up from the past that are not always cause for rejoicing — the unsolved, the painful encounters, the mistakes, the reasons for shame or woe. But all, good or bad, give me food for thought, food to grow on.

-May Sarton

We nurture the nutrients. The fruit is a byproduct of the work we put in. Growth can be difficult to grapple with because it frequently invites more change. Adjusting, replacing, or upgrading an old habit. Setting an effective boundary. Increasing mindfulness. Steps outside of comfort into yet more unknown. If it is a comfort zone, though, then it can be expanded. There are limits and ranges to it that can be flexed wider over time. We can extrapolate excitement, planning what our goals and next steps are for healthier, wiser growth. We can begin to judge ourselves less and understand our inner workings more.

Through judging, we separate.
Through understanding, we grow.

-Doe Zantamata

Who knows what the end goal is or even will be. We have here and now to keep on growing towards that or another direction. What steps are you taking today to grow? Surrounding us, we witness so much growth in nature and technological innovations. Especially in this day and age, we have so many possibilities for improving ourselves.

Set aside a fixed amount of time to learn something each day. Within fifteen to twenty minutes, you can listen to most guided meditations or book summaries. You can read a news article or two. Study another language1. The options abound. Perhaps best early in the morning or at a fixed time not too close to bedtime, set a timer for that short span of time (15-20 minutes), then set yourself to a bit of growth. Congratulate yourself after :)

You only struggle because you’re ready to grow but aren’t willing to let go.

-Drew Gerald

What can you let go of today?

Can you stop taking yourself so seriously?

Are you dragging along emotional baggage, letting it trail behind you in your lane?

Has it done you any good yet? Might it be time to let it go?

Are you resisting the forward momentum in your lane?

Can you stop dragging your feet along?

There is no true need to feel bad about any of this exercise. Reflecting and realizing where growth can now happen is a righteous responsibility. Be proud of recognizing areas for improvement, and please feel free to laugh at any past silliness in hindsight.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.

-Ethel Barrymore

Oubaitori reminds us to remember our reasons for being.

What roots feed us, and what fruits do we grow?

It is not a race, and it does not need to be a comparison.

What if we helped each other? How much more growth can we all see?

That last thought fills me with lots of glee. Oubaitori.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

  1. I forgot to mention two days ago that Dikembe Mutombo excelled in personal growth at spoken languages. It is reported that he knew up to nine languages! ↩︎

Mournday – 100724

When I see and hear about Dikembe Mutombo and his career in the NBA, I often think about an immovable wall. A strong defender who is ready to wag a finger your way in dismissal. The second best ever for all-time blocks in the league.  There are not many people out there who have done more physical growing than Dikembe Mutombo. At seven feet and two inches tall, he is not even among the top twenty of tallest basketball players ever, despite how far ahead on the growth curve he is compared to averages.

In order to grow, you need diversity – of experience, opinion, and perspective. Diversity will always be at the core of change. It’s the only way people will find new opportunities, surmount new challenges, and gain new insights.

-Frans Johansson

Dikembe did not immediately sprout into such a stalwart defender, though. No, countless hours, months, and years of effort, planning, and work were poured into growing himself into the formidable force that many of us knew and love. Some of his family might even be surprised, given their thoughts when he was little. Dikembe himself said, “I was not very strong growing up, and my uncle used to look at me, like, ‘This kid is not growing up, he is growing tall but he can be broken like a banana.’ The banana in Congo is called ‘Dikembe.’ So my uncle start calling me ‘Dikembe, Dikembe, look at you Dikembe, you cannot even stand up.’ It took a long time for me to walk.” On his own timeline, we see what growing was accomplished as many in the league were known to fear his elbows.

Dikembe Mutombo was only the third player from Africa to be recruited to the NBA. That number is higher now, at least in part due to Mutombo’s efforts to pay it forward to future generations. He saw the possibility, actively advocating to grow the sport internationally.

"If I had not played basketball and made the millions of dollars that I made, I would never have been able to build a hospital in Congo. It started in 1997, and 10 years later I was able to unveil the Biamba Marie Mutombo Hospital, named after my mother, in my hometown outside of Kinshasa. It was such a blessing." -Dikembe Mutombo

He did not even play college basketball initially during his first year at Georgetown. He had planned on becoming a doctor before being recruited to play ball. In the short-term, such a shift could be seen as selfish or frivolous. Why give up a selfless service in the name of the greater good for the sake of a sport? Rather than being a doctor himself, his years in the NBA enabled Dikembe to be wealthy enough to set up his own fund which now supports an entire hospital back in Congo, his home country. Being one doctor versus funding an entire hospital system. Such stunningly staggering growth.

I just love kids. As a kid, I grew up in a poor country with a poor family that had nothing. I loved anyone who could come into my life, in from the outside, and give me advice that could help me succeed. I believe that there are a lot of people who came into my life that made me
Dikembe Mutombo.

-Dikembe Mutombo

God put us here to prepare this place for the next generation.
That’s our job.
Raising children and helping the community, that’s preparing for the next generation.

-Dikembe Mutombo

Collective, community-wide growth.

Uplifting the whole for holistic growth.

I’m so glad I didn’t become a doctor, because I do more than any doctor can do. I am an administrator, a CEO, doctor, psychiatrist, an activist, a campaign funder. I think I did well.

-Dikembe Mutombo

Talk about personal growth while creatively flexing career tracks! Dikembe did not stop at being a basketball player. No, he leveraged that starting point to grow into so much more – an advocate, a humanitarian, a philanthropist. Like one of his apt nicknames, Dikembe Mutombo grew from a man into a mountain. As a result, his achievements allow us to now figuratively stand even taller upon his supportive summits of shoulders. Are you ready to grow, too, or are you tired or scared, fed up or frustrated? Stare at yourself in a mirror and smile as you wag a finger in front of your face and encouragingly say aloud, “no no nooo, not today.” Allow the levity of that moment to shed some light on your present. Focus on your next best step. Hone gradual growth. Chart your ascent. Do well.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 100524

accretion vs. depletion

accretion (noun) – an increase by natural growth or by gradual external addition; growth in size or extent; the growing together of separate parts into a single whole

depletion (noun) – a serious decrease; the exhaustion of abundance or supply

Are you growing or shrinking?

Expanding or compressing??

Accreting or depleting???

Prejudices,
it is well known,
are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertili[z]ed by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones.

-Charlotte Brontë

Natural growth vs. unnatural slowth

Birds flocking together. Bikers drafting together. Cohesion for a greater, stronger whole.

Parasites draining. Batteries depleting. Infections spreading against the holistic whole.

People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Built. Grown. They both work.

When do you consider you are done building? Fixed mindset.

Will you continually tend to your personal growth? Growth mindset.

There is no instantaneous shift here.

Both work in increments over time.

Accreting here; depleting there.

Recognizing the difference.

Growing amidst them.

Accreting more;

depleting less.

Normality is a paved road. It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.

-Vincent Van Gogh

An Oath to Growth

Be

Me

Free

See

True

You

Clue

Who

All

Fall

Tall

Small

Grow

Flow

Show

Glow

We don’t stop playing because we grow old,
we grow old because
we stop playing.

-George Bernard Shaw

Have some fun with it. No need to be so serious when finding ways to grow and improve.

Enjoy your journey, time you spend working on yourself. Accretiate those good feelings :)

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 100324

I am extremely thankful for all of the teachers out there. At the end of the day, this thankfulness can probably encompass all of us. Does anyone go through life without teaching, either yourself or others, and either directly or indirectly? Learning from your own mistakes; listening to others; all moments of teaching. The beauty is that growth becomes possible as a result. Once we figure something out, we can change course. We see what can be different in our lane. Without teachers, we do not know what is possible. 

The role of a teacher is to introduce you to your inner teacher.

-Loch Kelly

Teachable moments yielding potential growth exist everywhere. Are you actively paying attention? Are you waiting and watching for opportunities, or are you simply surviving, going through the motions? When did you last consider a different approach? What goals do you have for personal growth? Who is your favorite teacher? What lesson or nugget of wisdom from them can you chew on again to work on as a new goal if you need help?

History is a strange teacher. It never repeats itself exactly, but you ignore its general lessons at your peril.

-Madeleine Albright

You are the gatekeeper to your own growth. Are you prepared to proceed down that path? If you have not tended to it recently, then maybe it is overgrown and difficult to navigate. One careful, conscious step at a time, though, will reveal that there is nothing to fear but only to rediscover. Teachers can show you to your own gate, but, from there, your development, growth, and improvement are all up to you. Will you move forward or stay stuck? Do you choose static stagnation or gradual growth? What teaching rings true?

The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of [their] wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.

-Khalil Gibran

Teachers see the potential in populations.

Do you see your own potential?

I do, and I believe in you.

Whether we experience what happens to us as obstacle and enemy or as teacher and friend depends entirely on our perception of reality. It depends on our relationship with ourselves.

-Pema Chödrön

How is your relationship with yourself right now?

Are you working on self-improvement to grow,

focusing on self-acceptance and self-compassion?

Heeded my words not, did you?
Pass on what you have learned. Strength. Mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is. Luke, we are what they grow beyond.

-Yoda, GOAT (Greatest1 Of All [Fictional] Teachers)

Find the way. Your best display. Grow today.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

  1. arguably perhaps :) ↩︎

Soulday – 092924

As you accept yourself and others better, you can begin to work on growth. You have a lot of new information that becomes available as you listen and learn more, and you can use it all to fuel inner and outer growth. Which soft skill can you sharpen some? What physical feature can you work on next? What new thing can you learn or read about today? When we look at the world around us, it is always expanding and constantly growing. We have a choice, unlike most else in nature, to not grow. Why would we exercise that choice, though? Fear. Comfort. Apathy. Regardless of the reasons, our choice is still there, so our growth is still possible. Perhaps that is purpose enough.

The purpose of life for [people] is growth, just as the purpose of life for trees and plants is growth.

-Wallace D. Wattles

Trees and plants grow in two directions. They establish strong roots while producing flowers and fruits. Are you firmly rooted in your values? Are you identifying ways to grow? What fruit have you been producing as of late? You can choose to germinate.

real growth is refraining from making assumptions
so you can focus on observing

getting more information
so that you can develop a well-rounded view
is always better than letting yourself
be dominated by an impulsive reaction

tame your ego to let yourself see more

-yung pueblo

The best way forward in your lane is not always clear. How and why we grow is not always known. I am learning that it is better to not ask so many questions. I sometimes lose focus of the moment due to trying to understand the why behind it. All things in their time. A path of growth will often be uncomfortable, but keeping it in mind can serve as reassurance when you start questioning some difference. Notice some of the slow and small victories along the way. Growth is very rarely an instant miracle. It is a daily effort of observing actions and reflecting on improvements. Growth can be a lifelong journey.

Growing into one’s personal power does not happen overnight. It is an evolutionary process.

-Cheryl A. Maloney

Grow or evolve into your best self. Slow down; appreciate moments and surroundings more. Feel into your body boldly, and reconnect with your senses. Notice extra details in what you see, feel, hear, smell, and taste. Growth can break us free of copy and paste.

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

-W.B. Yeats

A beautiful aspect to consider here is that you do not need to plan out all of your personal development time for growth and self-improvement. At almost any point, you can identify something to work on for growth. Maybe a dirty spot to clean up in your environment this next week; maybe a better sleep schedule with the right amount of rest; maybe a quick stretch or two to loosen up a sore spot that has been in need of attention; maybe some more self-compassion to be more accepting and forgiving. You can grow in different ways, cultivating many offshoots. Remember your roots, then grow your fruits.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 092724

Accept humbly:
let go easily.

-Marcus Aurelius

How often do you beat yourself up for what you have said, done, or even thought? I know I was guilty of this bad habit for far too long. I still slip and falter on occasion these days, but I am improving well in this area each day. It is a nice feeling that I happily welcome. The previous bar of expectation that I kept setting for myself accepted nothing short of flawless perfection. What an immature, unrealistic extreme; it feels a bit silly to admit. Conversely, I feel very proud of my improvement. I can almost laugh at the ridiculousness of my past self now. Acceptance allows me to move forward (better); it opens my life up to more; I no longer feel backed into a corner, thinking there is only one possible future.

Your emotions are natural. All of them.
So don’t judge your negative feelings, since that only exacerbates them. Accept them instead.

-Jay Shetty

Healing begins with the open, compassionate acknowledgement of these unpleasant aspects of our lives.

-Sharon Salzberg

We all have character flaws; we all have scrapes and scratches, literal and metaphorical. The beauty is that we can accept all that and plan a path forward. We can chart a way to work on being our best selves. Give yourself grace. Be realistic that you will still fail on occasion; accept those failures as lessons to learn more. Let them teach you new ways in order to continue growing and improving. Step beyond any corner; see more all around.

Accept right now that you are magnificent. Being your real, true, authentic self is what’s most awesome about you.

-Gabby Bernstein

As you accept yourself more, you feel more love. You reconnect with yourself more, acknowledging what works well and what could work better; you explore hidden depths within yourself, uncovering and unlocking your potential to spread even more love. Accepting more also means you can judge less. What if everyone is trying their best? Perhaps that is a concept that we have no choice but to radically accept as a precept.

Acceptance is simply love in practice.
When you love, you accept.
When you lack love, you judge.

-Abhijit Naskar

Will you accept control of your life for what actions and behaviors rest within your lane? It does not matter what you have or have not done in the past. Right here, and right now, accept the choice to redefine yourself. Show yourself your best self. Do the next best thing, each and every time. The future starts now. And now. And now. And now :)

You don’t need to earn your awakening;
you just need to put both feet in and remember to wake up. Now.
And now.
And now.

-Jessica Graham

Perchance

Acceptance

Benevolence

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 092524

Have you ever wondered… about wabi-sabi? I have. It is a Japanese term that reminds us to accept the temporary and imperfect aspects of life. Wabi-sabi teaches us to appreciate simplicity and authenticity. If we slow down and think about it clearly, how often are situations truly perfect? Why do we strive for such an unrealistic goal then? If we relax and accept the status quo more, then we can embrace happier moments more frequently, making life in general much less of a chore. Wabi-sabi can be a key towards opening that door and accepting the present. Stop limiting yourself; do not hold back what is in store.

Wabi-sabi nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities:
nothing lasts,
nothing is finished, and
nothing is perfect.

-Richard Powell

Think about some of your favorite treasures:

Are they still pristine or perfect,

or do you still accept and appreciate them with scrapes and scratches?

Radical acceptance rests on letting go of the illusion of control and a willingness to notice and accept things as they are right now.

-Marsha M. Linehan

In the world of DBT, there is a term known as radical acceptance; it is a skill that can help here. Rather than fighting what is, radical acceptance teaches and trains us to acknowledge the current state of things. We have limited control in the grand scheme of life, so going with the flow is a helpful line to toe; resistance only hurts and slows.

If you find that you are constantly under pressure at work, or in life, stop for a moment and consider that you have a choice to accept pressure or not… Rather than waiting until you feel like a time bomb ready to explode, take steps today to lighten the load.

-Michael Atma

To close with one more term, you can improve your wabi-sabi by remembering one more Japanese phrase, uketamo, which means “I humbly accept with an open heart.” When your life begins to turn frustrating or overwhelming again, circle back to uketamo. Write it down as a note on your phone or in your wallet. Times will turn tough; you can humbly accept it all with an open heart. How accepting and freeing can it be? I hope we will see.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 092324

I mourn for all of the “control freaks” out there. Therefore, in part, I mourn for myself, too. Accepting more is not always easy. Letting go of the controls for each and every action can be very challenging and difficult. We grow accustomed to calling all our own plays. In doing so, though, how much do we limit our own playbook? If we never or only rarely branch out, then how often do we miss out on new opportunities and random, teachable moments? How expansive could our playbooks truly be if we accepted more regularly?

How can you know what you’re capable of if you don’t embrace the unknown?

-Esmeralda Santiago

When we let go, we simply flow; we accept more and direct less. We do not have all the answers, so, personally, I plan on searching for as long as possible. I am excited by that thought. When I relax and embrace a more fluid lifestyle, I gain chances to experience and feel more of life. I break free from comfortable habits and explore new possibilities, previously unknown to me. My identity incrementally improves towards an individualized ideal. In addition, incredible insights insert itselves intermittently in interesting iterations.

We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.

-Malcolm X

I hope each of us can fully accept ourself. That feels like a good first step. Then, we can work on accepting others, too. We will not control it all, but we can certainly accept it all. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Why fight the current? If we accept the flow, moving with it, life can be easier and freer. By controlling too much, or trying to, we limit ourselves.

We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us.

-Bianca Sparacino

I acknowledge my fear and choose to move past it. I do not want to look back on my life with regret at not doing or saying enough. I do not want to bite my tongue for the sake of fitting in and going along with the masses. How can you let people know what they truly mean to you? We can make a difference by speaking our truths. Will you accept to control your life in such a way, and will you accept to let go of what all lies beyond your control?

Relax, and rock ‘n roll :)

Accept your role of limited control. Explore and adventure into the unknown.

“The unknown is where all outcomes are possible; enter it with grace.”

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 092124

acknowledge vs. disparage

acknowledge (verb) – to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of; to show or express appreciation or gratitude for

disparage (verb) – to speak of or treat slightingly; depreciate; belittle; to bring reproach or discredit upon; lower the estimation of

Which do you do more of: do you acknowledge the current state of things, or do you disparage it all? Or: how often do you compassionately accept your own shortcomings,

or do you tend to disparage yourself and your actions? Is the latter helping? Doubtful.

I used to disparage a lot. I am not proud to admit it; I am proud to acknowledge and accept more of everything these days, though. I had what I consider to be a fascinating insight this past Monday. At a meeting, when I began to get distracted by others due to disruptive behavior, instead of singularly-focusing on that rude interjection and internally disparaging it, I randomly and spontaneously challenged myself to observe even more. I created a game of sorts to see what all I can see, hear, feel, smell, and maybe taste. In a way, I chose to consciously distract myself joyously instead of being distracted by others annoyingly. I like the difference; it is a subtle shift from a negative mindset to a positive one; it feels powerful. I was happy to accept that feeling, acknowledging and enjoying it.

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.

-Thích Nhất Hanh

The random talking in the crowd had either stopped or drifted off to a point out of focus. I now look forward to more meetings and moments to mimic this method of mindfulness. Focus can be grabbed, or I can accept to maintain control of it. Even if I want to disparage, I do not have to. I can accept to control my actions, acknowledging that many other things lie well outside my lane. If I accept to control my actions, then I can continue to entertain this enthusiastic empathy in complete contrast to the dispirited disparagement. Ya dig?

Anew more; diss less

Accept more; discount less

Acknowledge more; disparage less

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are OK.
Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

-Thích Nhất Hanh

Is something bothering you right now that you may want to disparage?

Can you simply acknowledge it before noticing other things?

Will you accept to control your actions?

We are OK.

You are loved.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 091924

It can be difficult to accept life sometimes. On occasion, the challenges we face can feel insurmountable. I am thankful for Michael J. Fox. He has lived with Parkinson’s disease for over three decades; at this point, he has lived with it longer than his years prior without it. He did not accept the diagnosis immediately; he fought it and hid behind a lot of alcohol. However, since recognizing and accepting his situation, Michael has transformed his outlook and proceeded to make the most of it. Humankind is better off now because of his work with his foundation. Research on Parkinson’s has progressed significantly as a result of his funding. He accepted his lot in life, proceeding to pour all of his heart into it.

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

-Marcus Aurelius

Did you know that Michael was not the original Marty McFly? Another actor was initially cast in that role, but the director did not accept those performances as the best fit for the character. We therefore have the dynamic pair, Michael and Christopher Lloyd, that we know and love due to someone recognizing a problem and accepting control within their power to change and improve it for the better. What can you recognize and accept to control within your power? What will you change and improve for the better today?

On a personal level, I have respect for and feel a connection with Michael J. Fox because we both chose to insert a j into the middle of our pseudonyms to make it work best for us. J is a fictional middle name he chose in order to complete a successful SAG application.

Accept your insecurities, live life through them, and be happy with who you are.

-Mikaela Shiffrin

I suppose it also exemplifies that you can choose to change your life whenever you want. Probably not in any and all ways, but you can accept the ability to adjust what is within your control. Maybe there is a better middle name that you have in mind, or maybe you want to sugjest instead of suggest. The choice and the power is yours if you accept it.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,
then I can change.

-Carl Rogers

Accept your present.

Plan future presents.

Avoid attaching to plans.

Accept whatever unfolds.

While others can help, only you can Fix You.

Are you ready to accept that fact and work on it?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 091524

My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance,
and in inverse proportions to my expectations.

-Michael J. Fox

Be here. Now. In this moment.

There can be such quiet and peace.

Acceptance is the key; being okay with what currently is.

Learning to ease off on the need to control every. minute. detail.

Like one point last week, do not get in your own way; else, you will derail.

We will all do that from time to time. Accept that fact, then learn from it. Grow because of it. Acceptance is not complacence; it is acknowledgement to align appropriate action.

I am amused by how many recent cycles focus on work for oneself as much as work with others. Self-acceptance could arguably be more important than working on accepting others. We struggle enough to control our own lives, so why waste precious minutes wishing how another would act? I guess we want the break from working on ourselves for a bit. What a neat thought to recognize and then work on accepting. When starting to compare or attempting to direct others, spin it back. What can you adapt to do better here? How can you improve this moment now? Accept what is, and adjust accordingly.

Acceptance can stop the constant dialogue that may be running in your mind. Instead of mulling over multiple what-ifs, recognize what is here and now. As you begin to accept the current state, you can plan and play out your next actions. You can step beyond the individual and move with the mind for the masses. The difference is that your mind is in this moment. It is not elsewhere, uninvested from the present. Accept being here, now.

What’s important to us remains the same. It’s that inside stuff: the need for love and acceptance, and getting to know yourself and your place in the world.

-unknown

Being here now helps you identify where you are. That is the first true step before beginning to ask yourself where you want to go. You have your lane. Where will you point it? What will you do with it? Like me, will you work on more acceptance? :)

If you are up for it, stop and give yourself a hug.

Take this moment to be kind to yourself.

When did that last happen?

Work on it more this week :)

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 091324

Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

-Dalai Lama

I appreciate this cycle immensely; it reminds me to focus on the good in life. With modern media and all the news that we get inundated with, it can be easy to distract oneself amidst so much negativity and fear-mongering. As I filtered my thoughts and actions better over these past two weeks, I felt so much better. I was able to calmly navigate through stressful situations that would have upset me a lot in the past. I improved how easily I could move on from trivial nuisances, and I extended so much more compassion towards myself and others. It feels great; I plan on maintaining compassionate practices moving forward. I think it would be very foolish of me to abandon such a beneficial skill.

After all, I do not wish to be a fool;

I only seek to be a sugjester in all :)

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Watching the most recent US presidential debate on Tuesday night was relieving and uplifting for me. Sure, towards the end, I started muting the TV whenever he was talking (or interrupting because it was inconceivable to not ALWAYS have the last word) because I no longer wanted to hear the same canned bologna over and over again. Watching and listening to Kamala, though, was a breath of fresh air. Her demeanor and the way she delivered examples with specifics was educational and inspiring. At this point, I feel encouraged and reinvigorated by the idea that we could see a possible improvement in the near future. I will acknowledge that I am probably being at least a little naive to expect too much, but Kamala can be the first true presidential presence since Obama. We can have an elite leader representing our country again. A bold, confident, and eloquent woman who refuses to be belittled or overshadowed by brash and belligerent old men.

The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.

-Coretta Scott King

What stood out to me was Kamala’s compassion; in my opinion, one of her classiest moves throughout the evening was making pledges to the voters. She pledged to serve all Americans, and she discussed not turning a blind eye to suffering. Kamala Harris seems to seek out genuine connection; I believe in her potential; I strongly believe that she is a much better option than the alternative. I would love to move on from the doom and gloom projections that are being proffered by the past. Compassion starts with you.

Replace your fear with compassion.

We can delineate some Kampassion.

Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer.

-Rachel Joy Scott

For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: How do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?

-bell hooks

Have you started extending more compassion towards yourself and others?

If so, great!

If not, what are you afraid of?

Why not try?

I believe in your capacity to transform.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 091124

Have you ever wondered… about Tonglen? I have. Tonglen is a style of Buddhist meditation that cultivates compassion in one’s life. It stands for giving and taking or sending and receiving. Tonglen gives you a chance to do your part to help those around you, and it only takes a bit of your time. It provides you with an opportunity to send some love to selflessly care for others. You can receive the practice at a dedicated time or ad hoc whenever a need for it arises. Be flexible with it; practice Tonglen compassionately.

The main focus of this practice is to breathe in the pain, suffering, and troubles of others before breathing out compassion for that person or people. You transform that negativity within your soul fire. By burning up the burdens and recycling it into repaid positivity, you provide nonverbal, compassionate company for those in need. We notice those around us and their struggles, so we feel part of the struggles as a way to ease the weight off their back and as a way to reassure them that they are not alone. We are all in this together.

True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it.

-Daniel Goleman

Tonglen meditation reminds us of that fact as we compassionately care for those in need. If you are in need at a particular time, then channel the focus inward. That approach may be the best way to start this practice if your current compassion compartment is compact.

Allow your breath work to convert the heaviness into lightness. We each face this choice – will you stew in your sewer thoughts, or will you burn them away and revel in revealed joy? On each inhale, take in something bothersome; build it back better with each exhale.

I had an insight recently when noticing my mood darken one evening. I was having a very good day, so what changed? My own thoughts and how they began to distract me from the present moment. I started paying attention to frivolous, futuristic what-if scenarios that had no business playing out in my head. I bottled those thoughts together, burnt them up, and backtracked to the generally-positive vibe that I had been holding. After stopping those unnecessary thoughts in their tracks, I switched my focus back to what appreciations I was holding that day. I practiced Tonglen without even realizing it at first.

Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.

-Pema Chödrön

Compassion goes both ways. Care for yourself, and care for others. Find balance here.

Share your love with yourself and with all around.

Stop comparing; start equating. We are all equal.

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.

-Pema Chödrön

We can form a Love Generation. 

Start with some Good Vibrations.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 090924

I mourn for two students and two teachers today:

Christian Angulo

Mason Schermerhorn

Cristina Irimie

Richard Aspinwall

Last week, a fourteen-year-old in Georgia decided to discompassionately step well outside of his lane. As someone who yearns to understand the world and its workings, I would like to determine why that student exercised such an extreme. Was there bullying involved? Was there a lack of love? Did he feel unseen or unheard at home or at school?

I suppose, in a way, I am practicing compassion for the aggressor here. Wow. Well, how else can we figure out what to fix in order to move on from these psychotic cycles?

How many more gross missteps must we continue to endure? We are averaging more than one school shooting per week in America this year. Will we notice improvements as more parents are held accountable for their child’s actions? I wonder if that change will drive any new progress forward. I do not want all of my eggs in that basket, though.

Ultimately, it is the guns. Say what you want and choose to stay blind, but it is tough to have more shootings if there are fewer firearms. While this topic is heavy, I am briefly amused by an aside of imagining an iron throne made out of many melted-down guns.

I applaud the students who stepped up during this shocking crisis as first responders. One student ran to close their classroom door, getting shot in the process. When Mr. Aspinwall, the assistant football coach and math teacher, heroically placed himself in the way of danger to protect his students, those students repaid him by trying to do their best to save his life. Instead of understandably giving into fear and cowering in a corner, students courageously stepped up. They applied the skills at their disposal to compassionately care for him, though his valiant action cost him the sacrifice of his life.

Four lives lost because of one reckless teenager.

Did he not get out enough to appreciate his life?

Yes, I am still trying to understand; it is what I do.

I try to walk outside daily; I also try to be as observant as possible. I like to soak in my surroundings, appreciating each passing moment to the best of my abilities. It brings me joy to learn more about birds and butterflies, two animals I often see during these walks.

I experienced some of that joy earlier today while watching one white butterfly and one yellow butterfly. They engaged in a fun dance together that twisted and turned all around my periphery. In the past, I had only observed such behavior among multiple white butterflies. In this one fleeting moment of two butterflies gracefully interacting with one another, I felt so much calm insight course through me. We get in our own way.

We construct boxes for “other” people.

We set up our own limits and constraints.

What if we could all be saints?

If we each start to practice more compassion,

then how graceful can our collective dance truly be?

I hope we can see, eventually.

Compassion collaborates; discompassion denigrates.

Compassion constructs; discompassion destructs.

Compassion cares; discompassion disrepairs.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 090724

self-compassion vs. self-contempt

self-compassion (noun)- the practice of being kind and understanding with oneself, rather than being harshly self-critical when faced with failure, mistakes, or feelings of inadequacy

self-contempt (noun)- contempt or loathing for oneself or one’s actions; a strong feeling of disliking and having no respect for oneself

If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.

-Jack Kornfield

I think these two terms are mutually exclusive.

They exist opposite one another on a scale.

On which side of it do you currently live?

Can you reflect and shift your scale?

Self-compassion- stop computing comparisons.

Self-contempt- start contemplating contentedness.

Self-compassion- no more competing combatively.

Self-contempt- more conscientious concentration.

Self-compassion feels so much better.

Self-contempt only makes you suffer.

Self-forgiveness can help a lot here.

Build yourself up, back to a cheer.

Not every moment will be perfect.

Relax and give yourself grace.

Do your best, finding your purpose.

Relax and give yourself grace.

Compassionately devise. Avoid staying numb. Let love compel.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 090524

This Thanksday, I choose to recognize Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi. As a shorter nickname, she is often referred to simply as Amma, or “mother.” Amma is known as the hugging saint; she has spent decades of her life hugging millions of humans. She chooses to freely and willingly share her gift with the world. Her warm embrace can help you recognize that you are not alone; her friendly touch can share sympathy and strengthen your own compassion as she leads by example. We should follow in her footsteps.

Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer.

-Rachel Joy Scott

Amma authored a book titled Compassion: the Only Way to Peace. You can view a documentary about her, The Science of Compassion, for free on YouTube. Given the details included there, I will not write much more here. Compassion does not require lengthy discourse; it often requires more quiet and patient presence than anything else. Lend an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean or cry on when those around you are in need.

You must work in the present to make your future happy and blissful.

-Amma

Choose to show up and care; choose to work with those around you to pave a path to a future that we can all be proud of. Cultivate and circulate comprehensive compassion.

Love is the only medicine that can heal the wounds of the world.

-Amma

I hope to one day share a spectacular hug with Amma. My yoga teacher mentioned that many think that Amma vibrates higher than anyone else here. Who would not want to investigate such a claim? To feel such compassion must be so inspiring. I would happily welcome the help as I yearn to improve in this area, both with myself and with others.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 090124

Compassion is choosing to care. You want to express concern and sympathy for someone, even yourself, and their struggle. You want to help. If you are happy, then others can be happy. Similarly, if others are happy, then you can be happy. We can all work more on extending more compassion, both inwardly for ourselves and outwardly for others.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

-Dalai Lama

When phrased like that, it almost seems too simple and straightforward to be true, right? Yet, compassion generates lots of happiness, both for ourselves as well as for all others around us. It is essentially our positive presence and attention. By investing our energy and focus in the present moment around us, we show that we are here and that we care.

I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives me a genuine feeling of happiness. It is the practice of compassion.

-Dalai Lama

What a fascinating strategy to consider if you want to practice more compassion. Can you imagine thinking about everyone you see for the next day as long-lost childhood friends? They lived down the street, and it is so neat to see them again after quite a few beats. It may take some time to get used to a significant shift in setup, but think of this mindset management. Compassion cultivates centeredness, a conscious caring for yourself as well as for those around you. Even if someone upset you for some reason last week, it is better to feel excited about reuniting with them after all these “years”. It starts to push the limits of radical compassion which is honestly a worthwhile goal for us to strive for. 

Be generous with yourself. Do not waste all of that built-up gratitude. Compassion is another one of those beautiful, limitless resources. Make sure to spend time directing it towards yourself as well as towards all others please. You deserve your compassion.

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

-Maya Angelou

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 083024

I was not sure how to culminate this cycle. Then, it dawned on me. Why not show some examples of what all I express gratitude for? Before I proceed, though, please understand that I only offer the following as a guide. If it stirs up any jealousy or resentment within you, then I am sorry.

Why do you feel that way?

What can you be grateful for and work on to fix such a state?

It is not joy that makes us grateful;
it is gratitude that makes us joyful.

-David Steindl-Rast

I have varying degrees of gratitude for:

A higher power

This life

This breath

This moment

These words 

This moment (alright, no more of these)

Parents

Partners over the years 

Children

Departed grandparents

Ancestors

Friends

The sun

This planet

This solar system

This universe

Clouds

Water

Tea

Coffee

Kombucha

Plenty of other beverages 

Apples

Bananas

Blueberries

Cheese

Dark chocolate

Guacamole

Hot sauces

Sushi

Many other foods

Sleep

Rest

Relaxation

Recovery

Rejuvenation 

Healing

Books 

Music

Movies

Video games

Cats

Dogs 

Other pets and animals 

Friendly smiles in passing

Courteous nods and gestures 

Wholesome jokes

Heartfelt exchanges 

Considerate check-ins

Exercise

Stretches

Massages

Self-improvement

Learning

Growth

Meditation

Mindfulness

Prayer

Art

Beauty

Consciousness

Desserts

Equanimity

Fragrances

Gratitude 

Happiness

Individuation

Jesters

Knowledge

Love

Moons

Nostalgia

Oils

Peace

Questions

Relationships

Stoicism

Trust

Unity

Values/Virtues

Wisdom

X-rays

You

Zoos

Yes, I became playful with that exercise by the end, but I have gratitude for that playfulness as well. I watched this TED talk yesterday and thought it provided some worthwhile perspective to consider. It helps detail and highlight how much we often take for granted. Perhaps this viewpoint can help you grow your gratitude more gratefully. Approach it playfully.

It is one quick list of potential examples of what all one can be grateful for. I spent maybe a few minutes max on it. The beauty here is that I could be much more detailed and expansive with it, strengthening gratitude more. Perhaps you were excited for Frosted Flakes this morning. If Tony the Tiger were a philosopher, I would love to hear him talk about grrratitude. Platony? That would be grrreat. In cultivating effective gratitude, instead of being disappointed by the world’s imperfections, consciously give up false hopes. Relish life here and now, finding perspective for the grateful aspects in the lane.

realize how short the walk is from gratitude to happiness

-yung pueblo

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Wondersday – 082824

Have you ever wondered… about nostalgia? I have. I find nostalgia to be one of those magical practices where balance of its use is key; else, it becomes too easy to abuse. Think of it like candy – a little bit here and there as a reward or a treat can be good, but if you make candy your entire diet, then it becomes more harmful or hurtful than helpful.

love can be tough to navigate
when the mind is constantly
craving more

craving often blocks us from seeing
the incredible person standing
right in front of us

craving also disconnects us from gratitude

-yung pueblo

Y’all, I am in awe of and so grateful for how life often unfolds when you simply go with the flow. After enjoying a nice dinner with a friend last night, they mention a surprise idea. After a short drive across town, we arrive at a retro arcade. I had never visited one of these places before. After we pay the entry fee, every game inside is free. That means we played some classic arcade games from my childhood like X-Men and Time Crisis all the way through to the end. I experienced the entire storyline of entertainment that had enthralled me from an early age. There was so much less stress involved, too, because I had no concerns there about running out of tokens or money. It was such an unexpected yet wholly welcomed stroll down memory lane. I was reveling in all the pure nostalgia.

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

-Doug Larson

I even made a fool of myself with DDR (Dance Dance Revolution), a game that I had not played in who knows how long. Now, was this night out at a retro arcade what I had in mind or planned for my Tuesday evening? No, not at all, and yet, it was an absolutely delightful, impromptu outing, and I am beyond grateful for the opportunity. By being flexible and nimble in the moment, I now possess so much newfound gratitude for nostalgic games that bring back many fond memories of an easier and simpler time.

Nostalgia is a sweet place for a poet and writer to be in. But it’s an indulgence; a distraction. You can’t live in a distraction.

-Gulzar

I do not delude myself, though, by diluting my current experience if I were to only reflect forlornly. By being grateful for both then and now, I can keep moving forward with my present personal progress. I can acknowledge those parts of my past while continuing to work on all my current goals and plans. I will not live there now, but I can appreciate it.

Nostalgia is the only friend that stays with you forever.

-Damien Echols

What a nice thought that you can always have at least this one friend with you forever. It motivates me to recognize more of the grateful spots in my past. By identifying all those moments of gratitude, I store a wealth of information within my memory bank; it is one account that will never run out. Those friendly treasures can be carried with me forever.

Reminisce nostalgically.

Express gratitude for all the good.

Allow it to drive and motivate you forward.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 082624

I mourn for the loss of loved ones.

Will any of us fully and truly avoid these experiences?

I doubt it; grief is one of the toughest battles we each face.

How we rise to those challenges says so much about our values.

Do we honor their memories well,

or do we selfishly fight against time?

Losing a loved one is so difficult. Looking back, though, and reflecting on happy moments and meaningful memories is how we can still express gratitude for the time we did have. Do we often want more? Sure, but will we always get what we want? No. So, as per the theme this cycle, count your blessings and cherish the minutes that we do share here.

I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them.
The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.

-Rita Mae Brown

Life presents us with a series of difficulties. We can balk at the parts that we do not like, or we can look for lessons that are resting and waiting within; we can learn how to excel beyond and exceed our own expectations, or we can continue to complain about all the mundane. When handled appropriately, the adversities and struggles that you face can make you into a better and more balanced person. What if you could not know your full potential otherwise? Maybe you do not care now, but the world wants to see your best.

You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.

-Dolly Parton

Gratitude grants a grotto (or a garden) of gratefulness within each of us. Adorn and decorate your grotto with all the things in your life that you are thankful for. Whenever you begin to feel particularly worked up or overwhelmed, retreat to and graze within your grotto for a bit. Let it calm and soothe you, reminding you that this, too, shall pass.

Each passing second is always brand-new. Our emotions and feelings will be up and down; the thankful things in our life, though, do not need to change. We can express gratitude for parents, partners, children, siblings, guardians, teachers, pets, and more even if they are no longer with us. We honor their memory and make them proud by doing our best. As a result, we can then be further grateful for our own actions, too.

If we slip or falter on occasion, that is alright. We can be grateful for the opportunity to get back on track; we can also appreciate the chance to right our wrongs; we can keep our eye on the prize, embracing and enjoying existence. Welcome it with open arms, and accept its warm embrace. Feel the love, and spread the love, fueled fully by gratitude.

Don’t cry because it’s over.
Smile because it happened.

-Dr. Seuss

Please know that you have my sympathy as you grapple with grief.

Allow grace and space to grow from it gradually.

Gravitate towards gratitude.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 082424

avid vs. vapid

avid (adjective) – showing great enthusiasm for or interest in; eager

vapid (adjective) – without liveliness or spirit; dull or tedious; flat

Gratitude energizes appreciation for life. It helps you feel avid instead of vapid.

The change can be quite rapid if you shift your mindset and count your blessings.

Gratitude enlivens you.

Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.


-Karl Barth

By focusing on what you have as opposed to what you want, you can capture joy at any point in this present moment. With that upbeat perspective, you can plan goals and work on next steps; you can figure out how to build up a better life in your lane, something that you can then express even more gratitude for daily. Each day, if you make at least one thing better, whether that be a habit or skill you improve or a chore you complete, then you maintain momentum in a positive direction. You allow the inertia of gratitude to build by the day. It is not something that will ever run out; it is an infinitely renewable resource.

If the idea of creating a gratitude jar did not appeal to you, then how about considering a gratitude journal instead? By reflecting on your days in writing, you can begin to assess your attitude. Is your spirit showing in the scratches and script with an avid demeanor or a vapid vexation? How can you adjust your tone to focus on the positive aspects around?

Gratitude is riches.
Complaint is poverty.


-Doris Day

There are many ways to look at things. There is often an initial, surface-level reaction as well as a deeper, more well-thought-out reflection. Well, which already sounds better – snap reactions or thorough reflections? If we find what we can be thankful for, then we identify joyful thoughts. With those encouraging feelings in mind, we can enjoy what we choose to focus on and feel grateful for. Allow the beauty that is available everywhere to spark wonder and invigorate gratitude within you. Feel your soul come alive as you begin to thrive. Not all minutes will be full of bliss; search for grateful moments to not miss. Stand tall and revel in an avid atmosphere that is full of cheer. Vapid? What sapped it?

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.


-Abraham Lincoln

I avidly hope to heal vapidity.

So, what prompts proclivity?

I try my best; it falls to the rest.

It is not a test; I do not say in jest.

I have gratitude nonetheless.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 082224

I choose to diffuse the topic for Thanksday this cycle. After all, gratitude is all about being thankful for everything that you do have, so I will steep that idea for a greater degree of flexibilitea this time. I am thankful for tea. It is an easy pleasure that I can look forward to enjoying each and every day. Therefore, I have a significant amount of grateatude for tea.

Something as simple and ordinary as drinking a cup of tea can bring us great joy and help us feel our connection to the Earth … Drinking a cup of tea is a pleasure we can give ourselves every day.


-Thích Nhất Hanh

Tea has been made available to us in so many healthy and beneficial ways. There are caffeinated varieteas as well as caffeine free types. The ranges of caffeine in tea even varies, so I can choose what I want to drink based on what I think I need for a particular day – green teas for lighter days and black teas for heavier days. Prettea neat, right? :)

Tea is available in many different colors and blends, too. Within one tea bag, you may discover a dozen types of flowers and herbs. Then, if you mix and match combinations of different teas per brew, the complexity of possibilities further expands and multeaplies.

The benefits or purposes behind different teas run quite the gamut as well. Do you want to give your immune system a boost? Well, there are teas for that! Do you want to work on your digestive or respiratory health? Different teas can help you with those needs! Are you feeling overwhelmed or stressed lately? You are probably beginning to understand; some strains of tea will help calm you down or get you ready for a restful night of sleep.

You can enjoy the smells of the aroma as well as the warmth or coolness of the tea’s temperature. Watching the tea work its magic can even provide its own level and avenue of delight if you are willing to take the time to soak in the experience. I often make it a game of swirling the brew around. Allow your senses to be immersed in the moment.

Eight ounces or one cup of tea is also less than I usually expect. Therefore, I often drink probably ten to twelve ounces of fluids for each mug of tea that I brew. That consumption helps me maintain healthy daily hydration levels which is yet another aspect of my life for me to be grateful for. When you start practicing gratitude, it becomes hard to stop. What another great trait to be grateful for, right? Besides, why stop increasing your gratitude?

Self-reflection is a much kinder teacher than regret is.


-Andrena Sawyer

You can teach yourself each day. Gratitude does not grow overnight. It benefits best from a concerted effort to shift your focus to the positive parts. As you fill your life with more recognition of what all you are truly grateful for, you can also visualize the act with a gratitude jar if that is your figurative cup of tea. Diligently write down at least one of your gratitudes daily and deposit it inside the jar. Delight in the development of endearing details defining your dedicated devotions. If you feel dour, draw upon them as desired.

How sweet is your life right now? Is it too sour because you steep and stew too much? Can you soften your tone as you sip on some tea? I hope you choose to begin practicing and appreciating gratitude. My life is much better now thanks to gratitude, and I know it can do the same for anyone else willing to attempt this art. What have you got to lose?

You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down.
The choice does not belong to fate;
the choice belongs to you.


-Josh Shipp

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Tea time will tell.

Soulday – 081824

Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.


-Maya Angelou

How often do you slow down or stop to appreciate everything around you? “Moment to pause” is another DBT skill that can be valuable here1. When you go to sleep, do you think about all of the things that went well that day, or are you engrossed in upsetting parts or worried about unknowns for tomorrow? Pause peacefully, and reflect rightly. 

If you want to take this nightly practice one step further, a respected leader in my life taught me the following acronym. Before bedtime or as you are settling down for the evening, think through what all from that day you are GLAD for. What is at least one thing from today that you are Grateful for, at least one thing from today that you Learned, at least one thing from today that you Achieved, and, lastly, what Delighted you today? :)

Count your blessings! :)

In the end, I believe we should learn to be grateful for everything in our life. Uplifting moments are easy, but downtrodden experiences can be difficult to grapple with and truly express gratitude for. Reflecting on those tough times, though, can yield positive lessons and results if we are willing to put in work. If we improve our ability to practice gratitude for all of it, then we can figure out how to live our best lives. What a valuable first step to begin a journey towards feeling and valuing gratitude. Good job; good luck.

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues,
but the parent of all the others.


-Cicero

Gratitude can provide a sturdy foundation for your bridge in your lane. Trust it. As you incrementally increase your feelings of appreciation, you will begin to see and value the importance of other virtues, too. Take a step in this direction. How does it make you feel? Can you establish more contentment and acceptance for your current circumstances?

Here is one sugjestion that you can try – replace “I’m sorry” with “thank you.” Instead of saying “sorry I’m late”, substitute “thank you for waiting for me.” This shift in approach and mindset can begin the building of more gratitude in your life. Another sugjestion – how often do some take their hot showers for granted? When did you last try a cold shower? If you try one, then it can remind you of something that you may have started taking for granted quite some time ago. You can find or rediscover joy and appreciation in some, if not all, of the small things. Begin to see the brighter side of life; it is there if you look. It can be difficult to find at times, but I promise you that it is there. Care, and share.

Gratitude wakes us up to the goodness and beauty in life.
But we have to choose it.


-Tamara Levitt

Choo-choo-choose gratitu-u-uude :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

  1. One online reference ↩︎

Freeday – 081624

We often talk about resting in peace once we pass on from this world or earthly life. What about LIP? Live in peace, right here and right now. You can do it if you so choose – prioritize, possess, and spread peaceful power.

When we have peace in our hearts and minds, we draw peace into our lives.


-Iyanla Vanzant

I like this thought of having peace in both your heart and mind. It is not just one or the other; it is a peaceful and harmonious balance between the two. When synced well, the body experiences peace, too. A three-for-one (well, three-for-two, I guess?) deal right there that is in your own best interest. Something to hold onto? Toy around with it.

Are you wondering where to begin? When I slow down enough and fully appreciate life, it often starts with one thing, my breath – the constant flow of life that keeps me here. When I express some simple appreciation or gratitude for this small wonder, I cannot help but smile. After those two actions alone, I begin to feel warmth radiate outward.

Peace begins with a smile.


-Mother Teresa

If we all smile more1, could we share more peace? We do not need to start wandering around with wide, Cheshire grins. There is a technique in DBT known as a half smile. That alone would be enough to kickstart a difference. Try it out at home some. I only sugjest it peacefully, not in some awkward or upsetting way. Enjoy your own smile. :)

If you see someone without a smile, give ’em yours!


-Dolly Parton

I was listening to a book summary earlier this week which mentioned at least a couple times that the key ingredient to happy and healthy families is that peace reigns in the home. How is your home today? Is peace reigning there, or is grief or strife raining? I sugjest thinking of at least one thing that you can fix or improve right now or within the next twenty-four hours. Hold yourself accountable. Over the next day, put in a piece of work towards peace, whether that be with your own self or with someone your lane runs close to. How can you best reduce some of the friction there? Pacify your fractiousness.

If you are distressed by anything, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. [Think and choose peace.]


-Marcus Aurelius

Are you resisting or supporting the flow? Are you dragging your feet, or are you embracing change fluidly? There is a serene peace in accepting the unknown, in acknowledging that we do not control all of this. There are so many factors and influences at play in the world all around us. Within us, though, we hold the home court advantage; our lane is a safe and sacred space. We should each preserve and safeguard our own well-being; we should not blame others if our life and our lane are out of control or unwieldy. Is someone else choosing your reactions for you? Are you playing with your emotions, or are they playing with you? Control or regulation of oneself is a key step towards inner peace. Clearly seeing the current state of your lane as it is instead of how you would like it to be. Plan goals, but, also, accept the present parameters at play. Then, you can feel the calm, quiet peace set in. Be playful with it all; embrace and enjoy peace.

Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel inner peace.’
Spirit says, ‘Find your inner peace and then everything will fall into place.


-Marianne Williamson

I wish there were easier ways for me to share my experiences and feelings with y’all. I know it is difficult to simply take someone at their word. Inner peace is so powerful; it creates a positive feedback loop with love. The more you love, the more peace you can have; the more you feel at peace, the more loving you can be. Pick-me-ups that build atop one another repeatedly. It is pleasant, and it is profound. Explore it more playfully.

Choose love and peace will follow.
Choose peace and love will follow.


-Mary Helen Doyle

I hope you work on extending more love to yourself in order to experience inner peace. Reflecting on my past allows me to figure out what I want to do better in the future, and it presents me with opportunities to identify helpful ideas to maintain or improve as well as hurtful ideas to adjust or improve. By being objective in my assessments, I do not have to beat myself up for prior mistakes. Instead, I work on being truly grateful for all of my life. “Bad” or challenging moments remind me of what to work on in order to do better in the future. “Good” or easy memories help me relax and feel at ease, simply being, ya see?

Gratitude makes sense of our past;
Gratitude brings peace for today;
Gratitude creates a vision for tomorrow.


-Melody Beattie [adapted]

I really enjoyed this peaceful cycle, and I am quite grateful to be able to write these posts. I appreciate and enjoy focusing on building and channeling more peace in my life, both for myself and for others. Therefore, in that way, from my lane, I wish all y’all nothing but the absolute best of luck in powering up your best inner peace possible in your lane, too. <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Peace, y’all :)

  1. I recognize that this is a frustrating and overused offering or suggestion towards women in particular, but I sugjest smiling for everyone; each and every one of us. Besides, do we really want to let quokkas show us up as happiest species here? ↩︎

Wondersday – 081424

Have you ever wondered… about hakuna matata? I have. This phrase, while widely well known now, has its origins rooted within Swahili. It means no worries, for the rest of your days. Literally, hakuna matata translates into English as “there are no worries.” How nice, pleasant, and wonderful, right? Do you know what it sounds like to me? Inner peace. By being calm, cool, and collected, your skillful, smooth, and steadfast self can remain unperturbed in the face of random pandemonium. You are in control, flowing along.

If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying?
If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?


-Shantideva

Another word to approach this concept or idea is equanimity. Maintaining ownership of and responsibility for your inner self in spite of anything and everything outside your self. Being in tune with your body so as to avoid surprises. Being able to look back and reflect in order to improve. Do you want to prolong your problems, or will you pacify your past?

Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.


-Rafiki in “The Lion King”

To control your own inner peace to the point that external circumstances and events will not impact your mental well-being. Steering your ship within your lane with a stoic steadfastness that supersedes your surroundings, allow suffering to subside from the forefront. Focus on the peace; you can tap into it when you are ready and willing.

You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.


-Timber Hawkeye

You can relax and open up more when things are not as chaotic within and around you. When life does not pull you in too many directions all at once, you can take peaceful pauses and appreciate it all. At other times, you need to properly prioritize your peace. Otherwise, how effective and true can you be? Since we cannot always guarantee what all is going on around us, meditation and mindfulness strengthen our ability to control our inner self.

Inner peace is the key: If you have inner peace, the external problems do not affect your deep sense of peace and tranquility.


-Dalai Lama

“Equanimity holds it all. Peace is not about moving away from or transcending all the pain in order to travel to an easeful, spacious realm of relief: we cradle both the immense sorrow and the wondrousness of life at the same time. Being able to be fully present with both is the gift equanimity gives us—spacious stillness, radiant calm.

We can recognize what is true, even if painful, and also know peace. Equanimity does not mean we have no feeling about anything; it is not a state of blankness. Instead, it is the spaciousness that can relate to any feeling, any occurrence, any arising, and still be free.1“

If you have a problem and can fix it, why worry?

If you have a problem and cannot fix it, why worry?

Hakuna matata. Qué será, será.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

  1. Source ↩︎

Mournday – 081224

I mourn for Thích Nhât Hanh; he is nicknamed the father of mindfulness, and he had many other labels and names attributed to him over the years, some good, some bad. No matter what others tried to say or do to him, though, he kept pushing for world peace. Shunned from his home country of Vietnam for decades, he persisted on a pacifistic path.

When life hands you plums, do not pummel others.

As I explore many facets and aspects of Buddhism, I feel a strong attachment to Engaged Buddhism, mindful, hands-on activism. Based on what I know, I do not think Thích Nhât Hanh wants us to mourn him. Instead, I think it is better to remember him by living life according to his teachings; make your existence a peaceful example of his edification.

Education breeds confidence.
Confidence breeds hope.
Hope breeds peace.


-Confucius

How often do we think about monks as being closed off from the world within their monasteries? That classic imagery is why I prefer the philosophy of Engaged Buddhism. Thích Nhât Hanh established this branch of Buddhism as a more aware approach to advocate for admirable actions and augment affirmative advancements in social care. He wants to reinforce proactive involvement in improving the world for all living beings.

Martin Luther King, Jr. nominated Thích Nhât Hanh for the 1967 Nobel Peace Prize. Within that nomination, MLK, Jr. wrote, “his ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity.” His ideas and teachings on mindfulness paved the way for how modern science approaches and practices it. His education enabled him to confidently convey esoteric wisdom in a format that many of us can now hopefully learn from and appreciate; his peace empowers our peaceful potential.

Do not confuse peace of mind with spaced-out insensitivity.
A truly peaceful mind is very sensitive, very aware.


-Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Being very sensitive and very aware is not always peaceful if you are not ready to handle that level of intense input from your surroundings. In fact, it can be very overwhelming when caught off guard by and unprepared for such a surprising discovery of sensations. That is why it is crucial and important to cultivate and implement a core set of healthy and peaceful habits and values or virtues. At present, how prepared do you feel in your lane? Are you ready to navigate around surprises waiting up ahead? Are you happy now?

True happiness comes from a sense of inner peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, love, and compassion and the elimination of ignorance, selfishness, and greed.


-Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Identify and evolve your true habits and values.

Learn, live, and love virtuously.

Eradicate ego.

I seemingly-randomly stumbled upon this final quote this morning when doing some light reading, and it shook me to my core because it is one of the more recent focuses in my life. At yoga yesterday, the teacher was even speaking about our different bodies or minds. She detailed how we all house a positive mindset, a negative mindset, and a neutral one. Embracing emotional control ensures an enduring inner peace; that is one of my goals. I find it enlivening, yet I must evaluate and even out my excitement for it.

Many people think excitement is happiness… but when you are excited, you are not peaceful.
True happiness is based on peace.


-Thích Nhât Hanh

With over one hundred publications to his name, Thích Nhât Hanh left behind plenty of his wisdom to reference for many years. He peacefully dedicated his life to everyone.

Find your balance, then build your peace, piece by piece.

Improve your parts until you depart.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb.

Time will tell.

Smarturday – 081024

irenic vs. ironic

irenic (adjective) – tending to promote peace or reconciliation; peaceful or conciliatory

ironic (adjective) – using words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning; of, relating to, or tending to use irony or mockery; coincidental; unexpected

These two words do not contrast inherently; irenic and ironic can coexist peacefully.

Similarly, we do not need to contrast inherently; we, too, can all coexist peacefully.

Irony can often be abused when used for mockery. In those cases, its use is not irenic.

Ironic?

When given a mutually exclusive choice between them, I think it makes sense to lean towards ireny; it promotes peace in place of problems, solutions instead of subterfuge.

To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.


-Jill Bolte Taylor

When I woke up this morning and saw what new TED talk was waiting for me to see, I found it ironic. By the time I finished fully watching it a second time through, I felt irenic. It served as such a pleasant reminder that not all Israelis and Palestinians are engaged in hate for one another. I find it impressively glorious that we can all hear them singing beautifully side-by-side. Why can we not all sing peacefully and pristinely in unison? I think we can if we make that collective choice; we can join together and unite as one.

In the symphony of peace, every voice counts, harmonizing the chorus of humanity.


-Unknown

We will not agree on everything, and that is to be expected and accepted. Rather than arguing aggressively, we can debate in healthy dialogue. We can discuss differences and discover common denominators. Deliberate discourse delivers digestible diamonds of development and diplomacy. Delving into the details delineates divine from demean. Dutiful discoveries dictate dreams and desires. Digging deeper drives determination.

They don’t need to know your side of the story, and you don’t need the last word. Seek healing and you’ll find peace in not proving your point.


-Morgan Richard Oliver

In which direction are you driving in your lane? Are you focused more on being ironic or irenic? Are you trying to drive wedges or forge bridges? Are you presenting peace or promoting problems? My sugjestion: please, let us all be part of an irenic solution.

Peace is its own reward.


-Mahatma Gandhi

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Peace, y’all. :) <3

Thanksday – 080824

I am thankful for they/them pronouns. To be fully truthful with y’all, I initially balked at the idea of the singular they when I first encountered this new concept. It was different and foreign from what I grew up with and was used to or familiar and comfortable with. However, once I accepted that initial learning curve and fear of the unknown and began to consider the why behind it, I actually grew to appreciate, adore, and even adopt them.

Why? I strive for peace.

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.


-Wayne Dyer

Gender equality issues run rampant across the world, impeding peace. I find it frustrating whenever I study a gendered language. Who truly cares if the table or map is masculine or feminine? It is a table or a map. Similarly, who cares if we are masculine or feminine? Plenty of us currently, but should we? Why do we busy ourselves so much with how others live life in their lane? What if we each focused instead on what we can control?

Let everyone sweep in front of [their] own door, and the whole world will be clean.


-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Can you imagine a clean and gender-neutral world? I can; I think the idea could bring plenty of peace. How quickly might we eliminate wage gaps based on it? What if we balance out the roles of and responsibility for breadwinning, kinkeeping, and such? Everyone has their pluses and minuses; we each have natural gifts and traits. If we individualize identifications by peacefully passing up on preconceived notions and improving implicit bias, we can begin to break the cookie cutter molds. We can stop coloring collective groups in broad swaths; besides, that approach is lazy and untrue; it is rude and impersonal. Peace is personal. You find it yourself, and you share it individually with each person you come across. You can slowly begin to retrain your brain peacefully.

True peace with oneself and with the world around us can only be achieved through the development of mental peace.


-Dalai Lama

Consider the opposite. If you are not spreading peace, then what mental problems are you harboring? Why voluntarily carry suffering around with you? Does it do any good, or is it holding you back and limiting your full, peaceful potential? I prefer powerful peace.

I am a sugjester; I prefer they/them.

Maybe it is wise; maybe it is dumb; time will tell.

Truceday – 080624

We must seek, above all, a world of peace; a world in which peoples dwell together in mutual respect and work together in mutual regard.


-John F. Kennedy

We are two months and one day away from the first annual anniversary of the surprise attack on Israel by Hamas. That day was horrible. What Israel has done since is worse.

What fixes war – more war? No, peace – more peace and less war. What good has war caused this year? What good has it caused any year?

Pompous power plays by patriarchs? Papas please. Pivot plans; practice pacifism. Pilot peacefulness; position, pray, and prosper peacefully.

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Justice does not equate to revenge. Justice yields to equity, and equity enables egalitarian environments. What is more peaceful than all of us simply coexisting together naturally? A collective lack of maturity is what contributes to this cesspool of needless bloodshed.

I identify immaturity internationally:

putin’s poo pilfering Ukraine

netanYahoo’s unhinged vendetta

prolonged civil war in Sudan

genocide in Myanmar

drug wars in Mexico

gang wars in Haiti

suppression of minorities globally

those are but a few…

When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love.
Thoughts of war bring destruction to all harmony, well-being, restfulness, and contentedness.
Thoughts of love are constructive for brotherhood, peace, friendship, and happiness.


-The Pitiful Causes of War, and the Duty of Everyone to Strive for Peace

Envious and/or insecure majorities clinging to some falsely misplaced ideal of superiority or comfort? We have it better than others so that is fine? No, that is not peace. That is a persistent problem. If the playing field is not even, then the odds will not be favorable. Find truth. Spread peace. Reflect, learn, and grow.

Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict.


-Dorothy Thompson

If we keep focusing on differences, then how can there ever be peace? We are all sharing this one planet; it is time to start acting like that. I strongly believe that we can tolerate everyone if we stop being so closed-minded and standoffish. We do not all have to be best friends, but we can all cease being worst enemies. It hurts my head and my heart to think that people are out there today (and every day) willingly ending lives, fighting for some silly, pseudo-patriotic meaning that is not true to their personal core. Did they grow up wanting to be a killer or someone who gets killed? I doubt it, especially for the latter. They probably wanted to pursue a peaceful and positive purpose. Instead, immature boys hiding within their imaginary borders brashly try to make themselves feel better at the cost of countless lives. Manipulating human experiences for war, humans being pointed away from peace by petty, pitiful powers posturing and pillaging populations deplorably.

What is the point?

Why is the point?

Who points?

The structure of world peace cannot be the work of one man, or one party, or one nation… it must be a peace which rests on the cooperative effort of the whole world.


-Franklin D. Roosevelt

We can each start by building up our own inner peace. Lay the foundation of your indomitable mental fortress. As that grows and strengthens, share it with others.

As peace spreads, so, too, does joy and contentment. We can stop combating and competing for more awards and prizes. We can simply be, happily and peacefully.

If there is to be any peace, it will come through being, not having.


-Henry Miller

More land will not matter in the long run.

Additional deaths will not cancel out wrongdoing.

Struggle and strife among egos will hurt all parties involved.

Live long, laugh heartily, and love hard.

Prosper and profit in peace, people, please.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 080424

You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life,
but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.


-Eckhart Tolle

Truth paves the way to peace. If you are not truthful with yourself, then how can you be at peace? You may think you can still be happy, but delusions deceive you. Your inside is in conflict if you deny your true nature. Why do some situations repeat themselves until you learn the lesson? Living more truthfully can unlock inner peace. If you evaluate your morals and listen to them better, then you can begin to reassimilate and reclaim yourself.

Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves.


-Etty Hillesum

You hold the keys to your happiness; you can grant yourself peace if you so choose. How often do you slow down and reflect? When do you practice mindfulness or meditation? When is the last time that you felt truly at peace? Do you calmly center yourself a lot, or are you frantically running between this thing and that? Are you always at bat for the next task? When did you last simply sit, rest, and breathe? Stop and smell the roses.

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring – it was peace.


-Milan Kundera

Relax and go with the flow,

instead of trying to be a show.

If you knew, then you know.

Being still does not mean don’t move. It means move in peace.


-E’yen A. Gardner

It is good to slow down and do nothing sometimes. It is great to find your inner peace, when you can silence the chatter and stay still for a while, joyfully present here and now.

Truth paves the way to peace. Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 080224

How much truth do you speak? Lately, I often circle back to how much I hate the greeting or opening phrase of “what’s up?” What is up? Probably the same for you as for me (the sky or ceiling above each of us), so what point does it truly serve? Instead of inane starts, let us start getting to the heart of the matter please. Let us skip the surface-level crap.

Embracing truthfulness here, I know how easy it is to mindlessly speak in this way. Since starting this post days ago, I caught myself saying that very phrase a number of times whenever I was not thinking well nor being present in the moment. Recognizing these occurrences serves as a reminder for me to reengage my senses and avoid reflexive responses. I would much rather respond consciously as I learn from my mistakes.

Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not.


-Carl Jung

I also take issue with “take it easy” as a farewell. Why should we try to tell others how to take their life? What if some of us do not wish to live life easily? To me, it feels lazy and sloppy if the focus is only on taking things easily. Whatever happened to simply saying farewell? Fare thee well. Someone said “peace” to me today in parting; I like that one.

Peace is a frequent farewell in Arabic; “with peace” is a common expression for goodbyes in that language. For me, I often bid people good luck at the end as I frequently hear about some current issue which I wish to wish them well on or with. Truth implies impeccability. If you say the same thing every time, are you truly living, or are you coasting or ghosting along on autopilot? Why repackage the same words in each and every situation? How much do you even process those same words and phrases?

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.


-Dorothy Nevill

I will recognize that many may view my stance here as pedantic or trivial. Why do I care about these canned starters and finishers? Why should we talk if we cannot exchange an original conversation? Do we actually want to talk, or is it a societal standard that we are sustaining by saying the same stuff so much? I seek true connections, and I seek honest dialogue. I strive for a social circle that helps us consider as much of what we do as we possibly can. If we are not aware of our own actions, then how can we accurately assess our truth within? Once we flow, I think of it as natural truth. How do we transition to that?

Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.


-Albert Einstein

A couple weeks ago, while brewing some tea in a break room, a coworker walked in. I decided to ask him what his favorite part of the past weekend was. I had read an article with unique conversation starters that included this idea as a suggestion in it. He was genuinely surprised and delighted by such an authentic inquiry, and, as a result, I heard about a fun night of games with friends that he enjoyed recently. By curiously asking and actively listening, I learned about a new card game, too. What a true moment right there.

To seek truth requires one to ask the right questions. Those void of truth never ask about anything because their ego and arrogance prevent them from doing so. Therefore, they will always remain ignorant.


-Suzy Kassem

In an ideal world, in my opinion, each and every action and word would be imbued with absolute truth. Yes, it takes a lot of effort and conscious consideration, but what else is true life? I think it is a lot of effort and conscious consideration. Soak in your surroundings. Contemplate and choose your actions and words. I do not want to go through my day on autopilot. I want to live a full, truthful life. I think I owe it to myself and those around me as well as those who came before me, helping me be where I am today. That is how I choose to live, and it is the truth I choose to embody. How much truth do you live?

Live your truth boldly.
Others may decide to think less of you, but it isn’t your job to prove worth. It’s your job to live knowing your worth can never be defined by another’s assumptions.
Hold your head high,
be proud,
carry on.


-Rachel Marie Martin

Maybe it is wise.

Maybe it is dumb.

Time will tell.

Wondersday – 073124

Have you ever wondered… about sacca-kiriya (or saccha kiriya)? I have. It is an act of truth within the Hindu and Buddhist worlds. In fact, this concept exists across established and folk religions alike. I think of it as the equivalent of biblical miracles. After all, a parting of water shows up as an example within each, hence the similarity of them in my mind. The astonishing and miraculous power of truth is fully on display in these cases. I am well aware of how hard it is to believe; truthfully, I, too, am cautiously speculative currently.

Truth can never be told so as to be understood, and not be believed.


-William Blake

What do we truly know in the end? What does all of our knowledge add up to within the confines or constraints of the cosmos? What fractional drop of information or knowledge have we tried to define within the entire bucket? I am thrilled by the idea of being truthful and honoring one’s word so strongly that it grants you control of your surroundings. How swell would that be? How can we tap into such might? I do not think many of us will be able to due to lack of honest persistence in the true pursuit; I think the goal or prize will override the truth. The journey is the truth, not the destination. Are you working for a future goal or result, or are you working because it is the best thing for you now?

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.


-Henry David Thoreau

One example of sacca-kiriya that I read about recently referenced a bird who wanted to stop a wildfire from engulfing its forest home. Truth exists beyond spoken language; it exists in your actions and behaviors. Do you act and behave truthfully? Yes, those parts encompass what we say, but they comprise much more than simply that aspect alone.

Whatever human endeavor we choose, as long as we live our truth,
it is success.


-Kamal Ravikant

You have to be truthful with yourself in order to start living your true life. Only then can you begin to act truthfully, too; only then can we see how far our limits can be pushed. What is possible? Where does our potential max out? We truthfully do not know. I find that fact to be exciting and liberating. Do not put permanent limits on yourself; do not sell yourself short by discounting your whole truth. Be a better and truer you each day.

Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.


-Isaac Newton

There is no need to complicate matters unnecessarily. How often do we make situations worse by feeding the wrong fire? Live your life here and now; embrace your current and present truth. Go forth holding your truth tight within; save it for when you truly need it.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 072924

When did fake news and alternative facts become a thing? When did we decide it was better to battle disbeliefs rather than rally our reality for real? There are many reasons why I choose to mourn for truth. You can find any answer or support online these days. Does that mean it is all right or wrong? It just is, but where is the truth amidst it all, hm? When do we stop searching outside across all the bars and start searching inside amidst all our barbs? We will prick ourselves on plenty of thorns, but, truthfully, there is a golden rose waiting within.

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.


-Galileo Galilei

Do you know who I mourn for? Galileo. He lived during a time when the Catholic church wielded too much power IMO. Often referred to as the father of modern science, Galileo spearheaded revolutionary ideas within multiple scientific fields. What did he earn as a result? Imprisonment and house arrest. A forced denouncement or retraction of all his hard work. Little to no appreciation and countless ridicule, heckling, and chastisement.

It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong.


-Voltaire

People were up in arms about and in disagreement over the organizing principles of this universe. Is Earth at the center of all things, or are we only inhabiting but one of many orbs that revolve around a big ball of hot gas or plasma (Copernican heliocentrism)?

The pope at the time was evidently dealing with a similar situation to what Joe recently dealt with. Rather than bowing out gracefully, honoring the truth of the current time, that pope doubled down dumbly and redirected his delirium and doubts upon dear Galileo.

Who was right in the long run? Across how many periods have popes pivoted opinions and positions to prolong power? I hold no ill will towards a higher power. My problem pertains to pontiffs pointing out biblical interpretations as infallible and immovable. Yet what is an interpretation? It is not truth. It is a best guess; maybe it is an educated wish.

Believe in the power of truth… do not allow your mind to be imprisoned by majority thinking. Remember that the limits of science are not the limits of imagination.


-Dr. Patricia E. Bath

The separation of church and state feels very important to me. If you choose to adopt and practice a fixed and possibly antiquated belief system that proves to be too rigid and inflexible, then perhaps that should be done on your own. Leadership belongs to philosophers, people who study knowledge and diligently practice virtues.

We should stand behind and support those who wish to pioneer new perspectives. We should continue to challenge current beliefs and hold healthy debates with one another. We should not fear conflict, but we should avoid allowing it to degrade to the level of physical altercations. We are supposed to be the smartest species on Earth, right? If so, why do dolphins use more of their brain than we do? Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 072724

logic vs. logorrhea

logic (noun) – the science that investigates the principles governing correct or reliable inference; the system or principles of reasoning applicable to any branch of knowledge or study; reason or sound judgment, as in utterances or actions; convincing forcefulness; inexorable truth or persuasiveness

logorrhea (noun) – pathologically incoherent, repetitious speech; incessant or compulsive talkativeness; wearisome volubility

In which doth the truth lie?

How rapidly did you connect logorrhea’s low-hanging fruit of a runny rhyme? It is verbal diarrhea, quick and messy. I listened to one person recently talk about mental diarrhea when we entertain many untruths in our head (e.g. doubt, fear, worry). How impeccable with your word are you when you trend or tend towards being logorrheic? I think it is poor, wasted energy. What is the point or result of gossip – comparison? Competition?? Holier than thou, or misery loves company??? Where is the truth there? It is unnecessary.

Logic, on the other hand, can be taken in hand by inner reflection of whatever is currently on hand. If we handle it well, then it can hand off recognition as far as what is sound or unsound. Logic can let us hear or sense what is true versus false; it is a science or art. Should sciences be seen as really nerdy arts? What is so wrong with that? Logical? Perhaps.

The fact that a great many people believe something is no guarantee of its truth.


-W. Somerset Maugham

Are you figuring facts out for yourself, or are you listening to the general consensus or a trendy new fad? Are you possibly even prescribed to a prehistoric predilection that permanently postpones purpose and progress due to perpetuated, perturbed, preconceived, and preposterous poop of the past? Perhaps. Perchance.

Pepto Bismol – that can help with diarrhea.

Spiritual practice (e.g. meditation and mindfulness) – that can help with logorrhea.

Let no act be done without a purpose, nor otherwise than according to the perfect principles of art.


-Marcus Aurelius

Truth heals, right?

Art heals; art is truth.

Truth heals.

Logic leads to truth;

logic leads to healing.

Truth is often buried deep inside. If we apply sound logic to explore our being, peeling back layers of deceit, from others as well as ourselves, we can begin to see glimpses of what lies within or beyond. We can start to feel the warm glow of our inner golden light.

Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.


-Leo Tolstoy

We can each have our own pot of gold. It is not what most of us think it is, yet how often does that turn out to be the hand we are dealt already? Not much is what it seems, right? Do not ask me; I am merely a sugjester. Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 072524

I am thankful for Queen Lear. Truthfully, it is Lear deBessonet who I am thankful for, but I did not want to pass up on that playful possibility. First, I believe, early on in her life, Lear predicted and persistently pursued her passion as a theater director. That is a wonderful truth in and of itself for her to discover and dedicate herself to. My mind is in awe of her. Truthfully, I grapple with a little jealousy, too, but I am mostly overjoyed for her. Who cares if it took me longer to warm up to my passion? I am here now, and that is truly enough. I want as many people as possible to point their passions out and pursue them persistently please. Perhaps a pivot will productively power up our people and planet.

It is a beautiful truth that all men contain something of the artist in them.


-Walt Whitman

Second, I believe there is a beautiful truth to art. Hearing the numerous stories of how people lived better and fuller lives as a result of acting in community theater astounds me. Connecting with others and exploring perspectives beyond your day-to-day norm expands your experience and expounds your potential. It is difficult to not be engaged while immersed in a role onstage. It supports active presence, known as mindfulness.

Art is truth.

Art heals.

Therefore,

according to the transitive property,

truth heals?

Very often, ‘what happened’ takes years to reveal itself. It takes courage to confront our actions, peel back the layers of trauma in our lives, and expose the raw truth of our past. But this is where healing begins.


-Oprah Winfrey

Maybe truth does not heal you in the short-term if it initially opens a wound you have avoided, but I believe it is better to work through any pain in order to work on improving yourself rather than covering up the truth and pretending to be peachy. Why hold on to unnecessary weight of the past if you can free yourself from those burdens and surpass?

It’s very important that we pursue truth in our artwork. You change the world by being yourself.


-Yoko Ono

Spend some time this week looking in the mirror, mainly figuratively but maybe literally. Are you living your true life? Are you being your best self? Is there something new that you want to try? What kind of art might you want to explore? Adult coloring books can be a good starting point. They are very relaxing and therapeutic if you want to try it out.

Want to explore music more? Instrument or voice?

How about checking out any local theater opportunities?

Can you be an extra in a movie or show being filmed nearby?

Want to visit a gallery or museum?

How about photography or videography?

Can you research digital art options? 

Do you have any interest in poetry or writing?

Do you want to move more with a style of dance?

There are many adventures awaiting you amidst available art forms.

Attempt any?

Attempt all?

Study and in general the pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.


-Albert Einstein

Rediscover the truth of your childlike nature.

Give yourself some lenient space to be silly and playful.

Allow the arts to heal you.

Pursue your passion(s).

Find inner truth(s).

Wise?

Dumb?

Time

will

tell.

Soulday – 072124

Truthfully, I did not know what this next cycle’s theme would entail as of the last post on Friday, so I could not allude to or foreshadow it like I prefer. I was honestly exhausted, mentally drained by a magnitude or two1. Delving into forgiveness was challenging and heavy for me. I still have plenty of hard work ahead of me in that area. Unashamedly, I truly and freely admit that fact to y’all. I am a perpetual work or person in progress.

Can you guess the next cycle theme now?

True or false – this next cycle will focus on truth?2

Of all the animals,
man is the only one that lies.


-Mark Twain

This Mark Twain quote both amuses and saddens me. How painfully true is it? All the other creatures on Earth act and behave naturally. Yet, humans do not always act and behave naturally. Why is that? What if we each behaved and controlled ourself better? What a wonderful world that would be.

Our truth is in our lane. It is ready and waiting to be discovered. How many lies are covering it up? Lies you tell yourself; lies you hear from others. If you begin to unearth those lies, if you begin to find your truth, then you can build a better bridge in your lane.

Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.


-Pema Chödrön

It can be frightening to finally face our truth; it can be easier to remain deluded and false. Which feels better, though? Which unlocks greater potential? It takes time and effort to sit with yourself and put in the work, unpacking untruths. I know it is far easier to remain distracted by all the glamorous, shiny things fighting for your attention outside your lane.

The truth will set you free. Sounds nice, right? Can you handle the truth? Are you ready to put in the work? Are you ready to pursue your truth? What are you waiting for? You can choose to start something new and true. We only have here and now. No day but today.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

  1. Would that then be a magnitwode? :) ↩︎
  2. True. :) ↩︎

Freeday – 071924

Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are.
Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.


-Marianne Williamson

There is an extreme concept that I enjoy considering and attempting to practice – radical forgiveness. It confirms my thought from earlier this cycle about whether we should work on forgiving anyone and everyone. Yes, we should. It is not easy, but it is worth it. :) <3 Radical forgiveness can pave the way to ruthless self-love. We can be courageous in our own actions and beliefs as we build a better bridge in our lane, higher than ever before.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender.
Forgiveness is an expression of love.


-Gary Chapman

An interesting concept of forgiveness is how much more easily we can forgive enemies in comparison to friends. Then, loved ones can be the most difficult folks for us to forgive, even radically. It has to do with the levels of expectations that are involved. We expect enemies to betray us and need forgiveness, but we do not expect such behavior from friends or loved ones. The bite of those betrayals stings harder; it lasts longer. Do we want the boomerang to keep hitting us in the head harder and longer, though? I know that I do not want that repetitive pain, so I am working on radical forgiveness for all.

Forgiveness is a strange thing.
It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends.
It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love.


-Fred Rogers

At the end of the day, if we reflect truly, then we know how much forgiveness has been important for each of us at points in our lives. None of us are perfect, so we have relied upon others forgiving us for mishaps at some point. The same should be true for others, too, then, right? Right. We can forgive; we can try again. We can love; we can be loved.

Sometimes things make more sense the second time around. People change, you change, and the universe changes. If we keep ourselves confined to first chances only, we will truly miss out on some of the most beautiful things in life.


-Rania Naim

I do not want to miss out on beautiful things in life.

Forgiveness can help us move on from strife.

Is it wise? Is it dumb? Time will tell.

Wondersday – 071724

Have you ever wondered… about kintsugi? I have. It is a Japanese art form known as golden joinery or golden repair. Rather than throwing out a bowl, cup, or plate as soon as it breaks, they turn it into an art project. I think that is so lovely. They spend the time and invest the effort and energy into restoring it whole. The end result is a unique ceramic that still serves its intended purpose. It is truly one-of-a-kind now as it has golden seals holding it altogether again.

When we break, we should turn ourselves into an art project, too. Art exists as a therapy practice or style after all, and I believe that we should work on restoring ourselves whole. It takes plenty of time, effort, and energy, but what else out there deserves it more than us? We can have countless cracks and breaks; I know I do, both literal and metaphorical. The amount of scars that I have accumulated across my body are hopefully more than most. I say that because I hope others have not struggled as much as me. If you have, though, I am sorry, but we have more opportunities to practice kintsugi! What an exciting shift in perspective there! We can be even better at putting ourselves back together.

No man steps into the same river twice; for it is not the same river, and he is not the same man.


-Heraclitus

We will never look the same as we once did, and I do not think we should anyway. Life is about learning and growing, developing and changing. We forgive and forge ahead; we find our cracks, and we fix them. We shine light upon our issues and line them in gold. 

There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.


-Leonard Cohen

We can also ask for help with it through medicine, meditation, relaxation, or therapy. Kintsugi does not have to be practiced alone. Plenty of people are ready and willing to help others live their best life possible. Some people even try to help when the cracked or broken are not yet ready to heal or mend themselves. That can be a tough lesson, too. Yet it can all start anew right here and right now with forgiveness. Bid the past adieu. Identify your breaks and cracks. Begin to pour gold into them; behold a new, true you.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love.
There’s only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to do it.
And there’s only one time it will happen: when they decide they’re ready.


-Lori Deschene

Are you happy with your life in fragmented pieces?

Are you ready to mold and meld it back together?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Mournday – 071524

Everyone in this world is somehow connected. So why not just be nice to everybody?


-Richard Simmons

Today, I mourn for the loss of Richard Simmons. While I have yet to find any sources or quotes of him advocating for forgiveness specifically, especially for self-forgiveness, I think he epitomized the idea, at least indirectly. A recent fact I learned about his advocacy that I love is that he pushed for noncompetitive physical education in schools. Without that added layer in conflict from competition, consider how many fewer situations arise for forgiveness to even be necessary due to bragging or boasting over victories (or worse, degrading or shaming over defeats). Sure, there are still bullies out there in many places, but that is why we need more people like Richard to offset and balance those disgraces.

I do not want any child in America to have my childhood because it was taken away from me because I just wasn’t good enough; well, I am good enough now.


-Richard Simmons

I absolutely love this idea of paying it forward. I have often been frustrated by stagnant people who think that this is the way the world is or how it has always worked. They dealt with this, so others should, too, right? Wrong (in my opinion). Let us change and do better instead please. Forgive your past to fortify your future. Plant metaphorical trees of improvement for the next generations so they do not have to repeat the same struggles that we endured and navigated. There is nothing wrong with letting the people who come after us enjoy an easier life because of us. Else, will we ask them to forgive us?

No one is perfect… absolutely no one. Like precious stones, we have a few flaws, but why focus on that?
Focus on what you like about yourself, and that will bring you happiness and peace.


-Richard Simmons

Richard used his voice confidently to remind us to love ourselves. I was previously unfamiliar with his personal backstory. Evidently, he was overweight throughout his childhood and adolescence. He lost over a hundred pounds and kept it off for decades. Between aerobics, mindset, and nutrition, he focused on easy, effective, and essential tangibles that feel realistic for any of us. No magic pill or budget-breaking expense needed; only a willingness to do the work. How forgiving and inclusive is that?

Take a moment every day to find peace. Pull over to the side of the road, turn off the radio, and find peace.


-Richard Simmons

Peace is easier with forgiveness. It is hard to have peace when holding onto unforgiven parts of life. I know how poorly I have eaten in the past. Who knows how many nights I opened a big bag of Sun Chips and finished it off fully in only one sitting. When I open the large pack of Sour Patch Kids, I can eat until my teeth are sensitive for days after. Mindless eating can be a quick and simple trap. Mindful eating can take a lot of work, yet I know which option I prefer these days; I know which one makes me feel better, too.

If you watch your portions and you have a good attitude and you work out every day, you’ll live longer, feel better, and look terrific.


-Richard Simmons

I am proud of my ability to be more mindful when I eat nowadays. I enjoy the experience to a greater extent as I engage my senses more, and I do not deal with those negative consequences for days. My health and happiness are bonus benefits, too. By forgiving my past, poor habits, I can choose to turn over a new leaf and add more leafy greens into my daily routines. On occasion, I will still indulge, but rarely now to the point that my tummy will bulge. I truly hope you, too, will work it out; life can be better, of that I have no doubt.

I consider myself a court jester – motivator.

When the king gets depressed, he doesn’t call for his wife or the cook. He turns to the little man with the pointed hat and says to the court jester ‘make me laugh.’ And I am that court jester.


-Richard Simmons

From a sugjester to a court jester, rest well, friend.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Smarturday – 071324

magnanimous (adjective) – generous in forgiving an insult or injury; free from petty resentfulness or vindictiveness

For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: How do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?


-bell hooks

I am delightfully captivated by the Latin origin of this word. Magnanimus in Latin means “great-souled.” What an incredible ideal to strive for, right? By fine-tuning forgiveness, we can begin to make our souls great again. I will wash my mouth or fingers out with soap later for typing such a sickening reference, but it amuses me. After all, I would rather laugh at the absurdity than cry, so here we are. Talk about a tough figure to forgive. Are some acts beyond forgiveness? I am curious to ponder upon that concept more. I do not think so. I think some people do not deserve second chances (or terms), but I do believe that forgiveness should be all-encompassing and universal. Otherwise, like I have repeated in each post this cycle so far, who gets hurt if we fail to forgive? We hurt.

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive.
Forgive everybody.


-Maya Angelou

Do we want to stay hurt? I know I do not. I am trying to be the best me that I can be. In order to work towards that goal, I need to heal, and forgiveness is a key to healing fully.

To err is human, to forgive is divine.


-Alexander Pope

How great is your soul? Do you have any idea? When is the last time that you tried to get in touch and connect with it? I will sugjest again – who is at least one person or thing that you can work on forgiving today? Magnanimity will not be fully developed in only one day. However, at any point in time, we can begin to put in the work and pivot that way. Healing is a choice that we can each make. What is stopping you from starting now?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Thanksday – 071124

I am very thankful for Mayo Clinic. If given the choice between researching a topic via Mayo or WebMD, I hope we will always trust the more credible resource. That is Mayo, in case it needs to be said for anyone. After all, you should “be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” (-Mark Twain) If you do not improve your skills of forgiveness, you may also die sooner. Do not take my word for it. Please read this Mayo article on the life-changing importance of forgiveness and why you should practice it.

Mayo Clinic is a world-renowned medical institute, and they have been the #1 overall medical center in America for close to a decade now. They have an established presence across the country, and they are a nonprofit organization that employs tens of thousands of people. Their research and education lead the medical and science world in many areas. They even integrate the arts into their care; they focus on holistic healing for all.

Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself.
It’s saying, ‘You’re not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.’
It’s saying, ‘You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.’


-Jodi Picoult

When practiced effectively and routinely, forgiveness can lead you down the paths of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing and well-being. Holding onto a grudge can negatively impact your health, it can negatively affect your ongoing relationships, and it can cloud your current moment, stealing present possibilities. You are not winning in this situation; you choose to continue losing by holding on. We should hold onto as little as possible here, especially when it relates to negative emotions and feelings. Learn from it, then move on. Forgiveness frees you from the past. You can stop circling your thoughts around the same concern, you can start exploring new opportunities, and you can live, laugh, and love again. It is not easy, but it is worth it. How many times have I said that phrase by now? Y’all, I do not sugjest easy solutions, but I think I do tackle tough truths.

Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.


-Steve Maraboli

I like how much the article from Mayo Clinic also stresses the fact that you do not have to return to the way things were whenever you do forgive someone or something. In fact, you can and probably should instead strive to live a better life according to your values. Forgiveness gives you the chance to break free and begin again. Remember what the tough topic taught you as you progress; I do not sugjest stagnation nor any steps to regress. You control your lane. If you do not forgive, how much baggage are you dragging along behind you in your lane? How much does that garbage slow you down? I hope that visual helps if nothing else so far has. Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Soulday – 070724

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.


-Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness is a strong pillar with which to build your bridge upon; it can provide solid support. When established and strengthened, it can open up your potential to accept more and live freely. You do not have to become great at it overnight. In fact, it probably will not last if you force it quickly. Work at it slowly; cultivate forgiveness earnestly.

Take forgiveness slowly. Don’t blame yourself for being slow. Peace will come.


-Yoko Ono

While I was restoring some furniture this morning, watching the warm glow gradually return to the wood, I realized that this action is what we do within our own selves when we begin to practice forgiveness. We begin to wipe off the tarnish that has built up on us and the corrosiveness that has been eating away at us. Our warm glows are still awaiting us underneath all the cobwebs and dust that have gathered over much time. If we start forgiving ourselves and all others, then we can begin to glow again. It is not easy, but I believe it is worth it. After all, why should we ever withhold our glow from ourselves?

Forgiveness has to be complete. If you hate somebody, it’s like a boomerang that misses its target and comes back and hits you in the head. The one who hates is the one who hurts.


-Louis Zamperini

I think we should stop hitting ourselves in our own heads. We are starting a new week, and I am writing a new cycle. I cast off the past, and I stand here and now. In this present, I give myself a present to work on me. My skills at forgiveness are subpar currently, yet I am excited and motivated to advance this trait in me. I know it will help me be a better version of me – constructively, dependably, lovingly, nourishingly, and unrelentingly.

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.


-Bruce Lee

I have seen how forgiveness helps in small amounts already. As I learn more about its importance and begin to practice it, I know one thing with certainty. Forgiveness is a virtue, and I strive to live virtuously. How do you choose to live? Will you let the past maintain its grasp, or can you forgive someone or something right here and right now?

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you.


-Lewis B. Smedes

Can you also begin to live a more virtuous life? I hope we can all fill our days with joy and love, with compassion and freedom. I want us all to grow and glow. A key towards that goal is a collective improvement in our forgiveness, both for ourselves and for all others.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.
He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

It takes courage to boldly practice forgiveness. I am working on it. How about y’all?

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 070524

Earlier this week, one of the teachers in my life randomly told me about the root form of courage. Cuer in Old French or Cor in Latin both refer to the heart. An obsolete definition of courage even describes the heart as the source of emotion. To be courageous, we must have heart and feel our true emotions. When we open our heart to the world more, we become capable of practicing compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and loving-kindness.

That’s love, you see. It is redemptive… There is something about love that builds up and is creative.
There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive.
So love your enemies.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

MLK, Jr. forgave his enemies, people who literally brandished weapons and attempted to take his life. Edith felt pity for the nazi guards in the concentration camps; she knew they had been brainwashed. She knew their childhoods had also been stolen. These people had so many reasons to be angry, yet they chose to still live life on their fair terms. How impressive and powerful! I am in absolute awe of their courageous commitments to love.

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

As I read that quote and reflected on their lives, it struck me that they both evolved well beyond standard or typical expectations of humans. They set the bar very high for us all. Edith and Martin both chose to courageously adopt unconventional mindsets to push the boundaries of equitable expectations for humanity, listening to finely-tuned consciences.

There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

For this next cycle, I choose to courageously explore one of the weakest areas of my life. I had not planned on going here so soon, but I am gradually improving my flexibility and open-mindedness. Listening to and learning from the cues around me has proven to be eye-opening. I hope you will forgive me if this next cycle is rougher. I can now envision a road work sign up ahead in my lane. Buckle up as we might experience some rough air.

Make up your minds that happiness depends on being free, and freedom depends on being courageous.


-Pericles

Forgiveness is just another name for freedom.


-Byron Katie

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Courageously forgive, y’all :) <3

Wondersday – 070324

Have you ever wondered… about mind over matter? I have. Zen do. Life go(al IMO). Yea.

 

Seriously, though, being able to better handle pain by processing it less (or not at all as some people courageously claim)? If we do not notice it, then it cannot affect our current state of being since we are being somewhere else. We choose to actively, courageously occupy our brains with other input. It makes me think of Edith Eger and what I have heard of her childhood. It feels wrong to even call it a childhood because I believe that no child should have to experience and endure what she suffered and survived. She was part of a Jewish family in Eastern Europe leading up to the Holocaust. As her family was being uprooted and hauled away by nazis, she learned a priceless life lesson from her mother:

No one can take from you what you’ve put in your mind.


-Ilona Elefánt

I am in wondrous awe of anyone who can control themself better to the point that they can ignore their physically-present corporeal periphery. Pour your senses (your present power or power over your presence) into a point on your perimeter. Give it a name. When did it get there? What point is that point proving? Perhaps it points to or from something? Perhaps it possibly smells up close. Name the smell. Taste the smell. How does its perfume percolate? Present a play-by-play to yourself to the point that your brain possesses a presence pertaining to a possibly-permanent point beyond your body.

We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.


-Rick Warren

My heart breaks when I imagine about and empathize for Edith’s past life experience. I believe we should never steal childhoods. I respect any courageous child who can steel themself amidst such chaos. However, why should children ever even be put in a horrific nightmare to begin with? We need to courageously defend the powerless and weak. We need to set the right, positive example. Like Edith’s mother, we need to empower children to the point that they no longer remain powerless. When you see kids helping other kids while adults squabble back and forth like toddlers, who is really being grown up there?

A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.


-Helen Keller

Life happens. Each and every day. How do we each respond to it? We will get knocked down. Will we get up again? Will nothing keep us down? Can we be the correct clown?

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.


-Maya Angelou

I courageously seek out those moments in my life like the brief brilliance that Edith shared with her mother, Ilona. What lessons can I learn that will linger with me for a lifetime? How many nuggets of wisdom can I acquire and share? I do not wish to hoard what I hold near and dear to me. I yearn courageously to help others as best as I can. Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Courageously wonder, y’all :) <3

Mournday – 070124

Today, I choose to mourn for the untimely and early death of Michael King, Jr. When I think of courage, he is on the list. Even his father practiced courage after a trip abroad. After feeling inspired by a religious revival in Germany, he courageously chose to change his own name as well as that of his five-year-old son upon returning to America. They each became known as Martin Luther King from that day forward to honor Martin Luther, another courageous figure who stood up to the church and prompted Protestantism.

We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Did you know that Martin Luther King, Jr. was once stabbed, nearly a decade prior to his assassination? He was at a book signing when someone tried to stab him in the heart. Fortunately, they missed, allowing us all to learn and grow from him for more years. What if he had thrown in the towel then? What if he gave into fear when anonymous letters poured in with threats, disparaging comments, or blackmail? Can you imagine a world without “I Have a Dream” in it? I shudder at the thought; I dare not dream of it.

We shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering. We will meet your physical force with soul force. Do to us what you will. And we shall continue to love you.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

What impresses me most, though, is his ability to still turn the other cheek. I think that epitomizes courage – to boldly and blatantly forgive an aggressive assailant. I think he had so many reasons to be incredibly angry and vengeful. However, he preached and practiced nonviolence. In my opinion, it is a tough ideal to follow. It can be so easy, in my past experience at least, to be quick to temper and then rage in some cases. As they say, though, practice makes permanent, so I will courageously exert my will pacifistically, too.

There comes a time when people get tired of being pushed out of the glittering sunlight of life’s July and left standing amid the piercing chill of an alpine November.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Rosa grew tired of being told to stand for a white man. I am thankful she was able to work with MLK, Jr. to enable the bus boycott in Montgomery, Alabama. I believe we should all share July’s sunlight as well as November’s chill in equitable amounts.

You can kill the dreamer, but you can’t kill the dream.


-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Dream courageously, y’all :) <3

Smarturday – 062924

diffident vs. effulgent

diffident – adjective – lacking confidence in one’s own ability, worth, or fitness; timid; shy. Also, restrained or reserved in manner, conduct, etc.

effulgent – adjective – shining forth brilliantly; radiant

When I think about these two words, my mind jumps to indifferent and effusive:

indifferent – adjective – without interest or concern; not caring; apathetic

effusive – adjective – pouring out; overflowing; lacking reserve

One pair represents courage and another comfort or complacency. To me, they seem to be contradictory. Which pair sets you free? Which establishes harmony? Can you see?

My mind also jumps to the Cowardly Lion from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Throughout most of that story, the lion appears quite diffident. However, as a dynamic character who grows and improves, that characteristic does not stay static. Examples of his impromptu bravery abound. In addition, thanks to a mysterious liquid that the wizard gives him, the Cowardly Lion’s courageous effulgence appears by quelling his fears. What I like here is that the lion still adheres to his softer, wholesome veneer; his tough softness perseveres.

Imagine if the Cowardly Lion was too scared to adventure alongside Dorothy. What if he chose to do nothing at all? In my opinion, it does not feel valuable or worthwhile. Here is a sugjestion: reflect on at least a small step or two that you can choose to improve your diffidence. Even if you step slowly, you can feel and see your effulgence glow and grow.

To bring about change, you must not be afraid to take the first step. We will fail when we fail to try.


-Rosa Parks

Courage is only an accumulation of small steps.


-György Konrád

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Step onward courageously, y’all :) <3

Thanksday – 062724

How many years ago did we assign seats for adults in America? Fewer than a hundred. Even now in some places across the world, we essentially still observe this practice. In my opinion, I think it is absurd and outdated; I think it never deserved a place in society.

Why should skin complexion enter the equation? It is a characteristic or detail in which we as individuals have no control over. I sugjest you please think about that fact some and recognize the absurdity for what it is. I encourage us to consider valuing one another based on what we each can control, like our choices and our treatment of others. I also encourage you to value yourself based on these same things. I sugjest you reflect on your own choices and treatment of yourself in case that needs to be clearly said for anyone.

He [or she] who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.


-Muhammad Ali

I only briefly alluded to it in the last post towards the end, but I think we should focus on respecting the guardrails through any and all of our efforts as much as possible. We should practice courage from within the context of our own lane, and I think Rosa Parks embodied this sentiment perfectly. This Thanksday, I choose to express my extreme thankfulness for the “mother of the civil rights movement.” Not even 75 years ago, on December 1, 1955, Rosa Parks chose to practice so much courage. When the public bus driver saw white people standing on the bus while black people were still seated, the bus driver asked (or ordered?) the seated black folks to relinquish their better spots to the white folks. Rosa refused to give up her spot to a white man that day on that public bus.

Besides, whatever happened to ladies first, huh? :)

Without a struggle, there can be no progress.


-Frederick Douglass

Now, she was not the first person in the age of segregation to take such a courageous stand (or seat) in the face of injustice, but she was the one who kicked off a movement that would change America forever. Within four days of her being arrested and fined for her act of courage, a boycott of the buses began. This boycott was no short-term event. Instead of fizzling out in a strong rage over a short period of time, this organized, efficient, and effective effort persisted for 381 days. Over that year plus, additional communities beyond Montgomery, Alabama chose to get involved, too. Instead of irrational violence justifying insurance payments to offset damages, not truly driving a lasting lesson home, this powerful play proved economically impactful in a proper way. Their non-violent protest produced the permanent desegregation of city buses in Montgomery, Alabama.

Courage can be contagious, and hope can take on a life of its own.


-Michelle Obama

Rosa had plenty of reasons growing up to give into fear. Her grandfather would not sleep at night to keep a watch out for possible sneak attacks from Klan members since they lived and grew up in the Deep South. She got involved in various civil rights groups like the NAACP, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Rosa was closely connected with Martin Luther King, Jr. who helped to start the boycott of buses. By patiently and persistently working for the right things in the right ways, Rosa Parks chose to courageously live her life as an example of how we can all thrive peacefully.

Courage is contagious. When a brave man [or woman] takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.


-Billy Graham

I think we can all learn a lot from Rosa Parks, and that is why I am thankful for her. It is so easy in this day and age to give into the fear that appears to pervade our peripheries. However, with conscious choices and bits of effort, we can practice courage in small parts and places; we can let it gradually build over time. We can continue to tend to our lane as best as we can while courageously defending it. If we see an opportunity to help another person with their lane, then we should offer courageous support. Maybe they will accept it, or maybe they will not. Their choice should not stop us from still courageously trying.

We must have courage – determination – to go on with the task of becoming free – not only for ourselves, but for the nation and the world.


-Rosa Parks

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay courageous, y’all :) <3

Soulday – 062324

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.


-Walt Disney

I dream of world peace; I dream of no more needless suffering; I dream of freedom for all. Lofty? Definitely. Unattainable? I hope not. Time will tell, though. What do you dream of?

If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.


-Martin Luther

I am slowly figuring out more ways to volunteer within my community, too. I expand my footprint for social justice. I refuse to stay at home behind my walls doing nothing at alls.

You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both.


-Brené Brown

I know how scary it can be, at least initially, to start moving beyond your comfort zone. That one Dune quote still echoes in my head, though – “fear is the mind-killer.” It feels quite true to me. By facing my fears, I become more courageous. I surprised myself even earlier today when throwing my one round of disc golf this weekend. A friend joined me for this morning’s round of eighteen, and he told me after hole thirteen that there was a spider on the side of my neck. I reached up to the right side and he instructed me towards the other side instead. After a casual brush along the left side of my neck, a decent-sized spider went falling to the forest floor. The spider scuttled away some as I crouched down to investigate it, mostly out of sheer curiosity. Even now, I am still trying to figure out how in the world I stayed so calm, cool, and collected in that moment. Why was I not flailing almost immediately after he informed me about my neighborly intruder? I suppose I am slowly figuring out that not all spiders are inherently bad or evil. Sure, it sounds simple now as I type it out, but I definitely lost that rational logic somewhere along the way for many, many years. I am proud of that brief courage that calmly presented itself today.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.


-Mark Twain

Spiders might still shock and surprise me on occasion, but, as I gain curiosity for them and learn more about them, those fearful moments start to shrink. I slowly begin to burn away at that web of fear that has encased me for far too long. It is exciting and liberating to feel the courage welling up inside of me. I had not tapped into it for quite some time, but I am thankful that it is there now, ready and willfully waiting for me when I need it.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.


-Dale Carnegie

Please ask yourself – what is one small step that I can take this week to be courageous? How can I step beyond my comfort zone, even briefly, to try to help someone else a bit? Maybe you can start to ask yourself this question daily instead of weekly. Maybe then it can become hourly instead of daily. Courage can continue to grow and strengthen us all.

Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.


-Ruth Gordon

I expect there will also be days when you will simply need to be courageous for yourself. Perhaps you need to courageously defend some personal time to develop more love and care for yourself. That is very important, too. You can best help others when you operate at your best. However, there should be a healthy balance to that idea in general as well.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’


-Mary Anne Radmacher

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Be courageous, y’all :) <3

Freeday – 062124

Curiouser and curiouser!


-Alice

“She was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English.” It is like having the wind knocked out of you; it is being caught off guard. You are unprepared; your mind is blown. Curiosity can be so powerful and life-changing, y’all.

One can’t believe impossible things.

I daresay you haven’t had much practice. When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.


-Alice and the White Queen

Even as I planned this post, I had not considered the following until now as I write here. Was Lewis Carroll inferring a form or style of meditation that the White Queen practiced? Consider me very, very curious; I know how my mind can grow creative when meditating.

While I am not consistent at meeting this goal before breakfast, I do try my best to adopt this mindset in general throughout each and every day. I enjoy maintaining curiosity as constantly as I can. It serves as a nice reminder for me to remain inquisitive of everything around me. Should I really take anything for granted? Is it indubitable? I do not think so.

It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.


-Mahatma Gandhi

In addition to Gandhi’s sagely advice, curiosity can allow us all to ask and learn more from others, too. We do not know it all; we will not know it all. I will let you know if that ever changes, but I doubt it much. Therefore, in the meantime, consider this curiously:

Every person that you meet knows something you don’t; learn from them.


-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I was very impressed last night when someone random at a restaurant started to talk with me some because he said we made eye contact and therefore had to talk a bit. It amused me and amazed me. I was curious by the exchange and appreciative of his level of outgoing boldness and downright friendliness. I suppose gregarious fits well. There were plenty of reasons why we did not have to say a word to one another, but curiosity won out. We both displayed courage and stepped outside of our familiar comfort zones.

At the end of the day, what are you so afraid of? As I think back on this week, there are a number of instances where I have said something to a stranger and received no response back whatsoever. Maybe they did not hear me, maybe they did not realize I was talking to them, or maybe they did not understand me or want to respond to me. Any and all of that is perfectly fine. I choose to be curious. I choose to talk with others, complimenting what I like and asking about whatever I am curious about in that moment. I choose to no longer live in a fear state, wondering what others may think. They will think whatever they think.

I think it should not impact my decisions; I will not let it. Courage can empower curiosity. Courage will be the theme of the next cycle in case you could not already infer as much.

If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I’m not frightened by anyone’s perception of me.


-Angelina Jolie

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay curious, y’all :) <3

Wondersday – 061924

Have you ever wondered… about the expression “great minds think alike”? I have. Why do you think that expression exists? I think it exists because great minds are aligned. They are often the most curious of minds, yet they share similarities. I think great minds sync up for a higher purpose and tap into the collective consciousness. I do not think that such a shared connection is possible without appropriate levels of conscientiousness.

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.


-Eleanor Roosevelt

I think Eleanor was a very wise woman. By setting aside self or ego and stepping into selfless service, there is a common ground to stand upon. It reminds me of this quote:

You gotta dig a little on the ground you think you’re standing on so you can actually see that much of what you take for granted in society is actually layers upon layers of inequalities that have allowed for a baseline that’s fundamentally unequal.


-Kimberlé Crenshaw

We can set judgments aside; we can seek out and live by universal truths. I firmly believe in these possibilities for us. We can each stay in our own lane and tend to it as best as we can, all flourishing side-by-side. Respect the guardrails, stay curious, and thrive healthily. 

So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.


-Jorge Luis Borges

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay curious, y’all :) <3

Mournday – 061724

I mourn for doomers. The term caught me by surprise last week when I heard it in a TED talk. When I realized what the speaker had said, though, after backtracking once, I was in awe. Imagine existing in such a perpetual fear state that you basically stop living your life. You constantly worry and fear for all of the possible doom and gloom. It is such a depressing and upsetting way to move through life. I would even argue you are not moving through life at that point; you are simply allowing life to move all around you while you continue to recoil deeper and deeper into this sad state of fear. Coincidentally, you can soon guess what I excitedly experienced for the first time ever this past weekend:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings obliteration.
I will face my fear and I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past… I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.


-Lady Jessica Atreides

Does your curiosity remain? Why not question more possibilities? Can you consider additional options? Maybe doom will happen, or maybe we will all bloom instead. It boils down to our choices and how curiously we choose to move forward. Should we assume it is all in vain or for naught? No! The third guardrail states no negative assumptions.

Face your fear, slowly but surely. You do not need to tackle it all at once. Instead, you can gradually start to swing that pendulum towards a more balanced, even-keeled position.

Here is one more story for now from my past weekend. As I left the garage one morning, I noticed cobwebs amidst some of the items stored out there. As I began clearing them some, I noticed a spider. This spider was a bit bigger with a bulb-like back. Y’all, please understand that spiders are one of my top fears. I do not know where along the way I gained that phobia, but I have been working on facing that fear this year. Rather than quickly overreacting and killing this small, mostly-defenseless creature, I pulled out my phone and researched it. I am now fairly certain that there is a cool-looking cobweb spider living out in the garage. Do you know what this spider hunts? Recluse spiders. This spider may actually help protect me from one of the few spiders that I should be more careful around. How cool is that? By being curious, I learned more and allowed this arachnid to cohabit the garage space with me. I think it is so cool. I am excited to continue exploring opportunities like this; I am eager to flex more curiosity when and where I can.

In doing so in that moment in the garage, do you know what I suddenly remembered? Charlotte’s Web. Not all spiders are portrayed as the evil villain. It is their common role, sure, but Charlotte is a definite exception. I felt such peace in that moment as I felt the fear dissipate, at least some. I do not think I am fully rid of that fear yet, but it is such a nice reminder for me to consider each thing individually. While I doubt this cobweb spider will be weaving messages in webs, I am thankful for our peaceful coexistence. I am grateful for what that pause and moment of curiosity has now allowed in my life.

Feed your mind with curiosity; do not starve it with fear.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay curious, y’all :) <3

Smarturday – 061524

Inquisitive vs. Indubitable

Inquisitive (adjective) – given to inquiry, research, or asking questions; eager for knowledge; intellectually curious

Indubitable (adjective) – that cannot be doubted; patently evident or certain; unquestionable

I think very few things should be considered indubitable; I choose to remain inquisitive about almost anything and everything. Sure, the sun will rise, and it will fall. Time will forever tick on. Those things can easily be considered indubitable. However, in my past, my tendency to be too trusting of others has burned me too many times, so I need to be more inquisitive instead. It is good to be childlike, but that does not mean you should be naive. If you are reading this right now, then you were not born yesterday, so do not act like it. Be playful, but do so wisely. That is what I sugjest at least. Please be inquisitive with my sugjestions; they are not indubitable. I reserve the right to revise intermittently.

To circle back to one point, I want to say that it is worthwhile to trust others in the right amounts. Be inquisitive from the start, though. As someone who enjoys playing poker on occasion, the following quote jumped to mind as I started to write this interjection out:

If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.


-Paul Newman

This quote is rather harsh, but I think it is important. I wish everyone would operate from a default of being friends with one another, but that is not the way our world works right now. People talk about a “dog eat dog” world or a cutthroat society. I will do my best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but that does not mean I am also going to show you all the cards that I am holding right out of the gate. Trust is earned with effort in due time. An inquisitive nature can help develop discernment; asking questions and digging deeper can get to bottom of things. If you trust things at “face value”, then what even is it that you are trusting – a possible facade or farce? Maybe. I like to get to the root of things.

My mind enjoys exploring many rabbit holes of possibilities. I like questioning seemingly-indubitable facts or alternate facts because it keeps me on my toes; it maintains curiosity. It is indubitable that we each have our own life to live; be inquisitive with what you let in.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay curious, y’all :) <3

Thanksday – 061324

Today, I am very thankful for curiosity and someone who spends much of their life being extremely curious about… curiosity! Todd Kashdan, thank you for passionately and professionally researching curiosity. I found it very amusing that, during the week prior to this cycle starting, as I began to plan this next theme out, I heard the following in passing from a mental health expert in my life – “Curiosity is a sign of a healthy brain. Being inquisitive and curious is beneficial to your well-being.” Thank you for providing me with such an exciting light bulb moment. I was eager and thrilled to jot those words down as I realized what perfect fuel they were for my own curiosity about… curiosity! The layer of fun further unfolds here by the fact that Todd is a director of the Well-Being Laboratory.

Are you becoming curious at all yet? :) I certainly hope so.

Dr. Kashdan has determined that cultivating curiosity is fundamental for living a “happy, fulfilling life.” Curiosity can help you see the world through a brighter lens. It can help you enjoy more moments by reestablishing your “childlike sense of awe and wonder” with anything and everything that surrounds you. Todd believes that curious people perform better at tasks because they are more open to learning and being present.

He has authored a number of articles and books that you can explore if you are… curious to learn more. I cannot recommend anything in particular because I have only recently heard of him and his work. Yet, I can still be thankful for him already because he has helped me feel even more at home and in love with my insatiable and feisty curiosity.

I will close this post with the quote that stood out to me most in the article that I was reading when I curiously stumbled upon him and his work: “According to Kashdan, a good recipe for purpose is combining external curiosity – that is, curiosity about the world around you – with internal curiosity: curiosity about yourself. ‘Use external curiosity to ask yourself, “what does the world need?” Find the gap,’ Kashdan suggests. ‘Then, direct your curiosity inward to figure out what are the particular strengths, experiences, life events, perspectives, and relationships that make you unlike anyone else who will ever walk the Earth again. When you combine those things together, you can begin to see what you uniquely can contribute to the world. And that will help you determine what your purpose should be.'” It sounds quite beautiful, perfect, and personalized to me.

Thank you, Dr. Todd Kashdan. I appreciate your curiosity about curiosity immensely. Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell. Stay curious, and be well, y’all <3

Soulday – 060924

I have no special talents.
I am only passionately curious.


-Albert Einstein

Mr. Einstein did not simply self-identify as a curious individual; no, he described himself as passionately curious. In another quote, he encourages us to possess a “holy curiosity” in order to help “make your life worth living.” I love these enhancements of curiosity; I like pushing the envelope here to be as descriptive as possible. Why simply be curious when you can be passionately curious instead? Proceed through life with a holy curiosity that cannot be quenched. Sadly, others will try to stifle it, perhaps out of jealousy or envy.

They should stay in their lane where they should focus their curiosity. I choose to channel my curiosity within my lane; I like questioning as much as I can. I think it is too boring to pretend that you already know everything. It is not true, and it can stunt potential growth. Curiosity should be balanced appropriately while it bridges divides with loving change.

The hallmark of an open mind is not letting your ideas become your identity. If you define yourself by your opinions, questioning them is a threat to your integrity. If you see yourself as a curious person or a lifelong learner, changing your mind is a moment of growth.


-Adam Grant

Curiosity helps curb any know-it-all natures out there. I struggle with that trait at times, and it is difficult for me to “take my medicine,” but I know I will feel better afterwards. By recognizing my fault and owning it in those moments, I can still learn and improve. I can circle back to that state of curiosity and remind myself that I do not have many answers.

Maybe what we all need to hear is that it is perfectly fine to mess up. We all make mistakes. Will you own them, though, or will you try to cover them up or shift blame? What are you so afraid of if your tendency falls into the latter part there? Why do you cling to some broken delusion that holds you back from potential personal progression?

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.


-Marie Curie

There is a lot that we do not know. Let us all start there so we share common ground. We share this one space together. Let us all play nicely in it side-by-side please. Let us not belittle one another for asking questions, even if you think it is silly or foolish. I hate the thought of anyone feeling like they should hold back any questions for fear of shame. Curiosity should be treasured; I hold mine near and dear to me, holily and passionately.

Stay curious, y’all :) <3

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

Freeday – 060724

An 87-year-old world leader apologized within hours to days of his mistake going public. He did not dilly-dally or try to discount or disparage the details. Pope Francis owned his error and brought balance back to the scales, at least on a small scale. How many other “men” in “power” have recently acted similarly with such earnest, swift steadfastness?

First, I think about Brandon McManus. Do you think these women want to bring their guilt and shame to light? I am not aware of him speaking up at all yet (aside from his attorney), and I also was not aware at first that he is married. Wow. Talk about being an ideal role model for all the kids. Honestly, I hope at least some of the Jaguars’ players speak up and defend the ladies if the allegations are authentic and true. If only we had video evidence…

…which brings me to someone who upsets me so severely… Sean “POS” Combs. He blatantly and brazenly denied all wrongdoing. The footage from the hotel is absolutely terrible to watch; his abuse is atrocious and inexcusable. Even after this release of cold, hard, and indisputable evidence, it took him DAYS to make a half-hearted apology all about himself and what all he has supposedly done. He shared a lot of words. Where are the actions, though? What cold, hard, and indisputable facts can you share with us about what you are now doing with your life to balance back out all of that wrongdoing, Sean?

I think he has a sick and unhealthy focus on drugs, money, and sex. He thinks that these women only want a quick payday or that this is all “purely a money grab.” To an impure mind like his, of course that is what he chooses to focus on. Why do these women want to recount one of the worst experiences in their lives across pages of details? They seek justice, they call for an accounting, and they want to see Sean receive his just deserts.

Who names their child Christian but raises them like Satan? It is hysterically hypocritical.

Lastly, has he-who-should-not-be-named ever apologized for anything? Sure, on rare occasions. However, has he ever truly meant it and tried to balance things back out, or does he only blame? There is so much more I could say here, but he is worth less and less of my time, so I will move on. This is how I begin to balance my life and my effort.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

FWIW – nowadays, when I walk into a room or enter a new physical space, I try to figure out how I can make it at least a little bit better before I leave. For the clowns mentioned above today and many others out there who remain unnamed for now, I imagine they try to figure out how any room or space can make them a bit better before they leave it. Which approach feels better balanced? I will not sugjest anything here; you decide.

Look, y’all, I have no delusions here. When I look back at my life, I know what a POS I have been, too, at times. I am not proud of many moments. I feel gut-wrenching shame when I reflect on them. They provide me with opportunities, though; they serve as tough lessons for me to learn and grow. Do you know what else I know? While I may be a POS, I also know that I am a priceless work of art. Now, I choose to try and balance out my past wrongdoing with a future of rightdoing. All I have is here and now. Should I blame others or wallow? Absolutely not. I choose to do better and be better with each and every moment that I still have here. Maybe I will never balance the scales back out, but it will not stop me from trying. I am quite curious to see just how far I can shift things for my life in the opposite and better direction nowadays. That is why the next cycle will focus on curiosity. Look forward to another fun quote on Sunday to kick things off. For now, stay curious, y’all. Much love. Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

without Balance, we are Bound.

Break your chains!
 
til then, I will start wearing chains most days.
Perhaps people will be curious and ask.
eye will explain their symbolism.
Perhaps they will follow suit.
time will tell.
Perhaps.

Wondersday – 060524

Have you ever wondered… about forest bathing? I have. Shinrin-yoku is the Japanese word or term for it; this art or practice originated in Japan. It is an idea that you can heal yourself by immersing your body, mind, and soul in the natural world. I do not imply that it will fix all ailments, but it can help to lift one’s spirits. You can disconnect from the grind and hustle of life in order to reconnect with your senses; you can do so solo or in a group.

Leave your walls of comfort to admire her leaves.

Stroll through her woods;

walk in her fields.

Just stop and smell her roses.

Unplug from the screens,

take a break from technology,

and let Mother Nature give us her remedy,

all-naturally, holistically.

I was recently sent a Reader’s Digest to reference something mentioned to me a few weeks back. As I flipped to the page detailed, the article before it caught my attention – “The Upside of Anxiety”. I will spend at least an entire cycle on anxiety at some point, but, for now, the following quote jumped off the page to rightfully disrupt my balance:

Spending time in natural light and green spaces can restore balance.

I am not sugjesting giving up on modern comforts, at least completely. I imagine like most of y’all, I love my smartphone and internet access with streaming services to name a few, but I also strive to balance out my usage of them all with disuse of them all. I am better at it some days than others, and it will never be perfect, but I will keep up a concerted effort. Balance in everything can be crucial and critical. To avoid being hypocritical, I remind myself often to slow down more and worry less. I can only do one thing at a time, so I should approach each moment from as balanced of a standpoint as possible…

some tech use, some natural use

a show here or there, a stroll here or there

fruits and veggies, cakes and donuts

balance

Maybe it is wise.

Maybe it is dumb.

Time will tell.

Stay wondrous, y’all! :) <3

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods
there is rapture in the lonely shore
there is society where none intrudes
by the deep sea and the music in its roar
I love not Man the less
but Nature more

-Lord Byron

Mournday – 060324

Today, as the world keeps spinning, I choose to mourn for it. This post is the first time I will talk about it, but I doubt it will be the last time. We, as humans, are destroying Earth. We are currently living in such an imbalanced way as it pertains to this planet. The fact that many, mostly on the conservative side, choose to blatantly and blindly ignore all of the warning signs astounds me. Honestly, can you shove your smooth brain any further down into the sand? How are you even still breathing? Maybe Mitch McConnell really does have turtle-like superpowers that enable him to breathe through his skin. I doubt it, but I am thankfully not existing within his frozen shell. I imagine Marjorie will blame space lasers or some similarly-foolish BS before Green(e)house gases. When will it finally click? Do we need to lose countless amounts of our current coastal land first, or do we need to start waiting out scorching heat waves indoors? Spoiler alert – that basically already happens when Canadian wildfires run awry based on how they affect our AQI.

I want to highlight Switzerland here, specifically the Swiss Elders for Climate Protection. I applaud the two thousand women there who stood up and fought for themselves (in the RIGHT, IDEAL, or BEST WAY). They saw and felt the difference in their lives, and they took positive action. They earned their fair share by defending their basic human rights.

I am in awe of them and view them as role models. We can learn a lot from them if we listen. Now is the time to keep balancing out the climate equation. We will not fix it overnight, but we can at least stop making it worse and start moving the needle back.

I will include another phenomenal highlight here. There is a company working on some cool (heh) tech. They want to go under the ice in the Arctic Ocean and help it refreeze.

“Drill, baby, drill” is not the answer, despite what he-who-should-not-be-named thinks. IMO, that is the half-baked plan of a baby who thinks they are still puttering around a playground with Tonka toys. I can only imagine who all has a hand deep in his pocket. For all of our sakes, we need to leave oil alone, as best as we can and as soon as we can.

Even within this past week, I have now seen more studies released related to rivers changing colors. Beautiful, blue rivers are turning sickly orange in Alaska. Colorado has observed similar changes happening from the Rocky Mountains. To me, it feels like we are shifting the global scale of natural order out of balance. We continue to damage this world in bad ways. We need to start shifting that scale back while we still can. Else, while we are not the first, we may in fact be the last humanoid species here on Earth.

Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.

One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.


-William Shakespeare