I try to be kind because I have worked on it a lot, and I know it is best. However, I recently realized that I also want and need to be gentler. It is my understanding that rough kindness is not always well-received. Gentle kindness feels like a perfect pairing to me. How well will people listen and respond if there is a bluntness or a sharpness to your tone? In my opinion, the ideal to strive for is a gentle tone, striking a middle ground.
Having a gentle spirit, a kind spirit, a compassionate spirit toward oneself and others really does make space for the growth and the teachability that keeps us moving into the direction that we want to go. It’s not always easy to hold that kind of compassion and kindness for oneself, but to me that’s often where the work is.
-Tracee Ellis Ross
Gentleness feels very underrated in this day and age. There is so much focus placed on how strong and tough people are. How much attention are we placing on the exterior? What is happening on the inside? Try to picture it. Does it look like some terrible scene around Orthanc full of orcs and ill will, or does it look like the Shire on a warm, sunny day? Gentleness carries a hidden power that many often overlook. If you can build up a calm, cool, and collected confidence that allows you to move forward through life with a gentle ease, then you will remain unbothered and not upset by so much. Just try and see.
A deep river is not troubled if you throw a stone into it. If a religious person is hurt by criticism, then [they are] not a river but a shallow pool. Forgive others, and then you will receive forgiveness.
-Muslih-ud-Din Saadi
What is the current state of your soul? When have you last checked in with it? Do you even believe in it? I watched the new Netflix movie, KPop Demon Hunters, yesterday, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. I found many truths resounding fully and completely within my being as I watched it. Is it always gentle? No. I do not think we can or should always be gentle, but I do think it should be our baseline default until something else is truly necessary. What is your current baseline default? How often are you tapping into your gentle nature? If you are like me, then this is an area where we can still improve.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth.
-1 Peter 3:3-4
I was surprised to not have more quotes about gentleness already prepared. It surprised me even further to see some contention around it being beneficial. Given the choice between being harsh or gentle, it feels quite clear and obvious to me. Do you want others to raise their defenses or lend a helping hand? Do we want more battles, or can we finally embrace peaceful harmony? I look forward to focusing on gentleness this cycle.
Maybe it is wise. Maybe it is dumb. Time will tell.